For Such a Time as This
by Wingsong
Summary: COMPLETE! Kagome is devestated when her developing powers kill all youkai, including those in her group. After going home, she tries to go back, but she is thrown further back than before. Should she, can she correct the past?
1. In the End

Disclaimer: All of this belongs to Rumiko Takahashi, who is a GODDESS! As I am not a goddess, I don't even get in the running.  
  
Warnings: In order to truly understand some of this, you need to at least know who Kagura and Kanna are. Also there are parts in this fic that are a little...bloody, so be forewarned.  
  
For Such a Time as This  
  
Chapter 1 In the End  
  
In a small village sometime in the feudal era, the sun was just about to set. For most in the village, it had been a glorious day. Summer's heat had faded, but winter was still far enough away that the villagers did not have to worry about it. In fact, this village did not worry about winter shortage at all, because they had a resident miko that could help them out. Not that that miko hadn't been the cause of considerable damage in the past, but she could go to the future, where there was a seemingly endless supply of food. Besides, the jewel that the miko guarded had been completed, so there hadn't been a youkai attack in at least a week.  
  
Speaking of the miko, she and her party apparently were the only blight on the day. They had returned a week ago, but little movement had been seen from Kaede's hut since. The villagers had spotted the exterminator and the monk, but the miko had retreated to the hut and was not seen again. A general air of sadness seemed to pervade the hut, so the villagers did not go near.  
  
Sango stepped out into the late afternoon sun. Kaede was approaching, having just come from a hut where there was a minor injury. "How is he?" The younger asked as a way of greeting.   
  
"A lot better than you could tell from the noise he was making," the elder said disdainfully. "The little monkey will survive yet again, though I am not sure he has learned his lesson. There are some trees you just don't climb."  
  
The two women shared a brief smile before turning serious once more. "How is she?" Kaede asked.  
  
Sango considered her answer. "Better," she said finally. "She got up today, though she still refuses to go outside. She is in there making dinner."  
  
Almost if on cue, there was a loud clatter from inside. Both women quickly ran inside, to find Kagome sitting next to the stew pot with her head in her hands. She was softly weeping. The clatter had come from the spoon falling into the stew pot. Kaede went to rescue dinner, while Sango gave a comforting hug to Kagome. She stiffened in the embrace. Glancing up for a brief moment to ascertain who the giver was, she collapsed full onto Sango. The exterminator grunted a little at the sudden weight, but gamely held on.   
  
"I'm sorry," Kagome said finally. "I held them back for nearly an hour, but then I thought of how hungry he would be, and what I would need to get next. I actually had planned out what I would bring him from home when I remembered." She began to cry again.  
  
The door flap opened again, and Kagome and Sango were suddenly joined by a third body. Kagome looked down to find Kohaku almost burrowing into her on her other side. The position was comfortable, familiar. The tears quickened when she realized just why it was comforting to have something burrowing into her.  
  
Kohaku looked up into the young miko's face. "Why did you get sad again?" he asked. "You were almost happy this afternoon."  
  
Kagome looked straight into the eyes of Sango's brother. She closed her eyes and, with a visible effort, stopped her tears. When she was sure that she had control, she pasted on her patented "I-am-perfectly-alright-why-do-you-ask" smile, the one that usually caused her friends to step back in fear. It barely fazed Kohaku. "I am happy, Kohaku," she insisted.  
  
"Liar," Sango muttered under her breath. Even Kagome's freaky smile was sad.  
  
Kagome's mind worked frantically to come up with a different topic of conversation. "How's Miroku-sama?" she asked with forced cheer, then blanched and looked down.  
  
Sango understood her hesitation and handed her a bowl of the stew that Kaede was passing around. "He's still not talking to you, is he?"  
  
Kagome heaved a big sigh, "Not today."  
  
"He will," Sango said cheerfully. "You know him. He can't stay quiet forever. He has to give his opinion on everything."  
  
"You don't understand," Kagome said bleakly. "I killed them all. Me. I knew the potential of that power, and I released it anyway. I wasn't under Naraku's influence. It was completely my fault. Inuyasha-"  
  
"Isn't coming back." The cold voice came from the door. Miroku had come in without anyone noticing. "They are never coming back, so stop sniveling."  
  
Kagome flinched and paled. She stared down at her bowl and slowly pushed it aside. Getting up, she shoved her bowl to the side. "I think I'll go to bed now." She had barely touched her food.  
  
Sango watched as Kagome got out her bedding, setting it up as far as the little hut would allow from the disturbingly empty spot by the door, where a hanyou used to lay. Sango turned sharply to Miroku and said in a clipped tone, "Houshi-sama, may I speak to you, alone?"  
  
The monk nodded and stepped outside. Sango followed, but caught him just outside the door. "What the hell was that for? You know how vulnerable she is!"  
  
"Yes," Miroku said, sounding truly apologetic. "But I also know how she works. If we act like we don't care how she feels, she will work herself out of this faster. It would be better if Inuyasha were yelling at her, but that's not going to happen. I was trying to make her go home. She heals better there."  
  
Sango stared at him for a long moment. "Just when I think I have overestimated you," she said, "you prove me wrong."  
  
She turned to go back into the hut, but Miroku had decided to thank her. It wasn't his fault that she had turned just as his hand rose up to cover his heart. The resultant collision with parts of her anatomy wasn't his fault either. Honestly. It wasn't his fault until his hand decided to take advantage.  
  
Sango stiffened. "Houshi-sama," she said softly so as to not disturb Kagome. "You wouldn't want to lose that hand right after the curse was removed, would you?"  
  
Miroku laughed weakly and let Sango lead the way into the hut. He was greeted by an angry Kaede, who handed him a bowl, making sure to slop at least some of the contents over onto him He thanked her graciously and ate quickly, under the glares of the others. The sun had set already, so there was little else to do but go to bed.  
  
Kohaku staked out a claim next to Kagome. "I understand what you are going through," he said, "even if some insensitive blockheads, who shall remain nameless, are too dense to realize it."  
  
There was no response from the supposedly sleeping girl. Kagome waited until she was sure everyone else was asleep before sighing and sitting up. Having slept for most of the past week, she did not feel really tired now. Miroku shifted in his sleep, and she actually smiled at him.  
  
"Thanks for trying to help," she whispered softly, having heard the entire conversation outside. "I'll go home in the morning, but there's something I must do tonight."  
  
Quietly she got up and made her way across the hut to the outside. Standing still for just a moment, she allowed herself to breathe in the night air. There was no moon, but that didn't matter anymore. She sighed, and walked to the base of the shrine.  
  
"I'm sorry," she called up to the two newest residents of the little graveyard, to at least one set of ears she was sure could not hear her. "I wasn't strong enough. I am so sorry."  
  
She sat on the steps, but there were no tears left.  
  
* * *  
  
Sango woke the next day to find Kagome already up. As if that wasn't enough of a shock, the young miko appeared to be packing her bag. She wasn't her normal cheerful self, but she wasn't crying constantly either. She was just calmly packing up her things, as if-  
  
"Kagome-chan?" The exterminator asked curiously. "Are you going home?"   
  
"Yes," the girl replied softly. "We need some more supplies, and I could bring some medicine for the boy that fell out of a tree yesterday."  
  
By this time she had finished her packing. She checked quickly to be sure that the shikon jewel was in its sealed pouch that Kaede had made and firmly in the pocket of her bag. The pocket had originally been designed for cell phones, but as she spent most of her time in the feudal era, it served to hold the jewel within easy grabbing range.  
  
She carefully shouldered the bag, and turned to Sango. "Tell them thank you," she said softly, "especially Miroku-sama. I'll be back by tomorrow, I think."  
  
Sango nodded and walked her to the well. Right before she jumped in, Kagome turned and smiled at Sango. It looked like a true smile to Sango. "I'll be fine," she said.  
  
As Sango hugged her, her smile slid off her face. Kagome was still trying to put on as brave a front as possible. As long as she didn't go over the top Sango would believe her, she thought. The conversation from last night proved how worried they all were. If she would relieve some of their worries, she would. The embrace broke, and Kagome turned quickly before her newest tears could be spotted. Taking a deep breath, she jumped.  
  
She had always loved going through the well. From the first heartrending jump to when she landed safely on the other side, she loved that feeling. Other than when Inuyasha carried her, it was the closest she had ever gotten to flight. No matter what her mood was, she always felt cheered up when she went through the well.  
  
It held no joy for her now.  
  
She arrived on the other side and just sat there. The energy required to lift herself and her pack out of there suddenly seemed too much. She pulled her knees up and rested her head on them, staring into nothing. She had no idea how long she sat there, but it must have been a long time, because suddenly her mom was kneeling in front of her.  
  
"Kagome," she asked, concerned about her daughter, "What's wrong? I saw the light from the well house when I was walking in earlier, but that was at least half an hour ago. I called, but you didn't answer."  
  
Slowly Kagome's eyes traveled up to meet her mom's. She stared at her as if she didn't recognize her for the longest moment. All of a sudden her eyes cleared and she launched herself at this source of comfort.  
  
"Oh, Mama! It's Inuyasha!" Kagome sobbed. "And...everyone. They were going to die, so I killed him! But I killed them, too. I killed them all!"  
  
"Whoa," her mother wrapped her arm's around Kagome. "Slow down. Relax and start at the beginning."  
  
And so Kagome did. She started from the very beginning. Soon the whole story was pouring from her, the true story. Every youkai she had protected her mother from knowing about, every dangerous situation she had ever been in, it all came pouring out. The dangers of Naraku, Kagura, and Kanna, the complications of Kikyo, the challenges of Sesshomaru, the reluctant partnership of Kouga. Shippo's parents, Miroku's hand, Sango's village, Inuyasha's transformations. After a few gasps her mother remained silent. Fairly soon, Kagome's voice ground to a halt. She could not continue any longer.  
  
Her mom continued to stroke her back for a while, then softly suggested, "Let's go inside, and I'll make you some tea. You can tell me the rest later."  
  
Kagome nodded and rose to leave the well. Suddenly their position struck her. "Mama," she said, a little dumbfounded. "You climbed into the well? Voluntarily?"  
  
Her mother chuckled a little. "I called, and you didn't answer. I knew you were down there, and it scared me when you didn't respond."  
  
Kagome reached out to hug her again, but simultaneously both of them realized how dirty they were. Giggling, they agreed that a bath was in order before any tea could be drunk. Kagome got to use the bath first, while her mother attempted to repack the bag. After soaking for about fifteen minutes, there was a knock at the door.   
  
"Kagome?" her mother called. "I knew to put ramen in, but what kind of sweets would you like to send Shippo this time?"  
  
There was a long pause, then her daughter's voice came back, sounding extremely muffled, "Don't bother, Mama. There's no one to give it to."  
  
She digested that statement, then said, "Why don't you get out of the bath, I'll make up some tea, and you can tell me the rest of the story."  
  
She went down and prepared the tea, along with some oden. It may not have been a correct breakfast food, but in these cases comfort food is best.  
  
"Mama," Kagome said as she walked in, "I know this will sound crazy, but could I have some o...den." She smiled at the already steaming plate sitting at her place on the table. "You know me too well."  
  
She sat at her place and took a few moments to compose herself. "When Inuyasha's sword broke," she began, "I came to a decision. I would no longer be entirely helpless in a fight. I spoke to Kaede-sama, and she spoke to Miroku-sama, and they agreed to start teaching me the basics of miko spell casting. It was hard, but fun. About one week into the training, however, I started having visions. They weren't mine. My powers weren't mature yet, so I shouldn't have been having them, at least not with the clarity they were shown. Naraku was sending them to me. Horrible visions of all of my friends getting slaughtered, and me powerless to do anything. They would always end with the same message. 'Give yourself and your shards up to me, girl, and I will spare them. If I can reach you here, who says that I cannot make these visions true?'  
  
"Except for these, life continued much the same as normal. We won some, we lost some, and we never seemed to get closer to Naraku. Then he kidnapped me." Kagome shuddered in remembered pain and fear. She decided that her mom still didn't need to know some things, so she edited the last parts of her story. "There was a young girl there, who had apparently been kidnapped as well. I protected her, and it turns out she was the ward of Sesshomaru. Naraku should not have messed with her. We had a new ally. Kikyo was finally able to put her plan of attack into action, but whatever it was, it failed, rather spectacularly. She was able to drag herself to Inuyasha and tell him Naraku's location before she died. We had to act quickly. I used one of the few spells I could produce to call Kouga and Sesshomaru to us, and we set out to fight.  
  
"It was a disaster. Sango was brought down early, because she tried to protect Kohaku. Miroku-sama was protecting her, and Inuyasha and Sesshomaru were attacking from opposite sides. Kagura, in the greatest degree of open defiance I had ever seen from her, had refused to fight, and Kouga was busy guarding Shippo and me. Three months of training and I still felt useless in the actual battle. I was more accurate with my arrows, though. I was aiming at a youkai sneaking up on Miroku-sama, and failed to notice the one sneaking up on me. Just after I released my arrow, Kouga slammed into me, knocking me out of the way and taking the brunt of the blow himself. He was dying at my feet. I looked over the battlefield, but there was no one to help. Sesshomaru was trying to free Inuyasha, who was caught up Naraku's tentacles. Miroku-sama was busy defending Sango, but then the rosary snapped off of his hand. He actually took the fact that he was going to be swallowed fairly calmly. He just started walking directly to Naraku. Apparently he thought that if he was going to die he should take Naraku with him.  
  
"I got mad. Miroku-sama's curse was more effective in this battle than I was, and it was going to kill everybody. I felt an all encompassing rage fill me. With it came the power. I was so mad at that point that I just let it go. It felt good to actually be doing some harm."  
  
She paused and took a sip of the tea. This was the hardest part to tell. "Miroku-sama and Kaede-sama had warned me about my maturing powers. They had told me that miko powers made no difference in 'good' or 'bad' youkai, they only hurt youkai. I knew the potential of the powers, yet I still released them. The only youkai to survive was Myoga-jisan, who fled to the safest place, me. He got as close to me as possible, and was spared."  
  
"And Inuyasha?" her mother asked, fearing the response.  
  
"Much worse," Kagome said weakly. "My powers killed all the youkai within him. He's completely human, and hates me for it. He won't leave Kikyo's grave, and refuses to speak to me. I don't blame him. Miroku-sama keeps him company mostly, forcing him to eat, to survive. So, you see," she smiled bleakly, "there is no need for ramen or sweets."  
  
Her mother blinked at the sudden subject change. She moved to hug Kagome again, but Souta chose that moment to walk in, blearily rubbing his eyes.  
  
"'Neesan?" he asked. "What are you doing home on a Sunday? Where's Inu-nisan?"  
  
Kagome stiffened. "I'm going to my room," she said as she bolted from the room.  
  
She ran and continued running until she had reached her sanctuary. There she paused, wondering what she could do. Schoolwork seemed so trivial now, but it would keep her mind occupied and her hands busy. Nodding to herself, she brought out her book bag and looked at her assignments. As she was rummaging through her bag for the right book, her hand came across a journal. A pink one. A pink and fuzzy one that Ayumi had given her for her birthday. She stared at it for the longest time, thinking how incongruent it looked among her textbooks.  
  
'Shippo would have liked it,' she thought. 'Not the color. Never the color, but he would have liked the feel of it.' She buried her head on her desk and cried once again for the lost boy. When the latest batch of tears had subsided she found herself staring at the journal again. Finally she grabbed a pen, opened up the journal, and began to write.   
  
She wrote about a funny little fox youkai child who had lost one family only to find another. She wrote of blue foxfire and illusions with tails, of big pink bubbles and little screaming mushrooms, of Thunder Brothers and a challenge from a grieving sister, and of a small girl with a shard of rose quartz and his impassioned defense of her. She wrote in no particular order, merely taking down memories and impressions of a bright spark that had changed her life in so many ways.  
  
When she had written everything she could remember, she moved on. To a fiercely protective wolf that had lost a pack to protect. To a tiny fire cat that did not seem so tiny when her mistress was in danger. To an enemy youkai lord-turned-ally, his faithful servant and even more faithful ward. And finally, to a dangerous silver-haired hanyou that, by reluctantly saving her, started the whole quest. She filled the journal completely, mechanically eating when food was put in front of her, and barely acknowledging her brother's apology when he discovered the truth. She wrote far into the night and fell asleep at her desk, only to wake up early in the morning to reread what she had written.  
  
She had barely gotten through Kouga's section when her mother poked her head in the doorway. "Kagome?" she said softly. "You did say that you wanted to leave in the morning, and it's almost ten o'clock."  
  
"What!" Kagome screeched. She launched herself out of bed. The next few moments were a whirlwind of packing and hurried instructions. Finally she was ready, and she ran down to the well, waving a hurried goodbye over her shoulder. She was in such a hurry that she nearly tripped as she entered the well, causing her bag to crash against the side. Unbeknownst to her, the cell phone pocket had opened and the Shikon jewel fell out in the transition. She fell roughly on the other side.  
  
"Ouch." She rubbed a couple of particularly bruised spots, then looked up to the top of the well. "Is anybody there to help me out?" she called.  
  
Sango's head appeared in the opening. "Hey," she called down cheerfully. "Inuyasha's still sulking, and Houshi-sama's gone to 'help' some of the village women, so I decided to help you up."  
  
Kagome sighed a hoisted her bag up, climbing up soon thereafter. Once she got to the top, she rested for a bit and turned to Sango. "I thought," she said, "that if Miroku-sama had left off guarding Inuyasha to have some fun in the village, you would be guarding Miroku-sama."  
  
She was reaching down to pick up her bag when she said this, so she missed Sango's look of confusion. The look cleared quickly, however, and Sango said good-naturedly, "Let him have some fun for now, and I'll just give him one big concussion later."  
  
Kagome actually giggled a little. "You'd think that the women would have learned by now that he's not serious," she said, "or that if he ever was serious you would punish him appropriately for it."  
  
They both shared a laugh over that, but Kagome soon grew serious again. "He should slow down, you know," she said thoughtfully, "now that things aren't so urgent."  
  
Again a look of confusion appeared on Sango's face, but this time she voiced it as well. "Kagome," she said, "what are you talking about?"  
  
They were about halfway to the village by now, and Kagome turned to face Sango. "He shouldn't have to worry so much about an heir," she explained slowly, "now that the curse is gone."  
  
"Kagome," Sango said, sounding even more confused, "Houshi-sama's curse isn't-"  
  
But Kagome was beyond hearing by this point. She could no longer see Sango standing in front of her, alive at least. She was staring at the remains of a ruined battlefield. The sights, sounds, and smells of the scene overwhelmed her. Bodies lay in pieces, only recognizable by the scraps of clothing still clinging to them. A clothed hand, still covered with a rosary. A knee, with the pink of the knee guard still attached. A torso, with the red cloth stained even darker by the red of blood. Worst was the tail, the orange fur blowing in the breeze. All of this did not horrify her; she had seen it all before. What horrified her were the words that she knew were coming.  
  
"Give yourself and your shards up to me, girl, and I will spare them. If I can reach you here, who says that I cannot make these visions true?"  
  
She didn't know how long she stood there, but after what seemed like hours, Kagome blinked and was able to see Sango again. The Sango that was standing in front of her, alive. Her face was pasty white, and she swallowed convulsively several times before she seemed to take control of herself.  
  
"Sango," she said, her voice wavering, "Go to the village and get Miroku-sama, now. Meet me at Kaede-sama's hut."  
  
"Wait," Sango stopped her before she could run off. "What happened?"  
  
"It doesn't matter," she said. "Just run, now. He's back. Oh, Gods, he's back."  
  
With that she took her own advice and ran towards Kaede's hut. If she was still having visions, then he still must be alive. And she had single-handedly killed all of their most powerful allies. She forced it out of her mind. She could think about that later.   
  
Meanwhile, she had arrived at Kaede's hut. She ran inside and threw down her bag. Grabbing her bow and arrows she hurried back outside, sparing no explanation for a startled Kaede.  
  
When she got back outside, Sango and Miroku were just arriving. Out of breath, Miroku raised a hand in greeting. His right hand...the one that was covered in cloth and a rosary. She would have asked questions, but she was interrupted by an entirely unexpected source.  
  
"Kaaaaagoooomeeeee!!!!!" The orange ball of fluff hurtled at her at unimagined speeds. "Save meeeeee!!!"  
  
If it was possible that Kagome could get any whiter, she would have. It was a miracle that she was able to catch Shippo, for her arms had gone numb. Following closely on Shippo's path was Inuyasha; a silver-haired, golden-eyed, dog-eared hanyou.  
  
She looked down at the fox youkai in her arms. He seemed to be expecting something. "Oh, yeah," she said faintly. Her eyes slowly traveled back up to the hanyou. "Inuyasha," she whispered, barely audible. "Ouswari."  
  
She joined him on the ground shortly thereafter.  
  
* * *  
  
Hmmmm...so this fic was spawned off of a dream. I woke up one day with the quote from the summary pounding in my ears, and it got me thinking. I have read a lot of fics in which Kagome defeats Naraku through her miko powers, but somehow manages to spare all of the good guys. Given my dream, I started to wonder what would happen if the opposite happened, and she killed everybody.  
  
Many thanks to my beta reader, Lori, who is also doing some illustrations for this fic. Go Lori! Her website is www. angelfire .com/wizard /fiction0/art/main.html (Cut and paste and take out spaces.  
  
WS 


	2. The More Things Change

Disclaimer: Me no own, kk?  
  
Warnings: Inuyasha/Kagome WAFF (Warm and Fuzzy Feelings), with a little Miroku/Sango on the side, slight spoilers for when Tetsusaiga breaks.....um....not much else....hmmmmm, a sympathetic view on Kikyo! (explanation at end)  
  
Review responses at end of chapter.  
  
For Such a Time as This  
  
Chapter 2: The More Things Change...  
  
Kagome was numb. She couldn't feel Shippo, who was pulling on her hair to get her attention. She couldn't hear Miroku's calls, or Inuyasha's curses. She couldn't even really see Sango's hand waving in front of her face. Her vision had been reduced to a tunnel, focusing solely on the dog ears, twitching madly on the hanyou's head.  
  
Those ears had been the first things she had noticed about him, the one thing in her mind that made him truly different. Hair could be dyed, contacts used, nails sharpened, but those ears had to be real. Throughout all the adventures she had been on, they had been her one constant. Inuyasha could maybe hide his feelings behind his eyes and blustering mouth, but he could never hide his ears. She could tell when he was hurt, when he was happy, and even when he still listened when he was 'ignoring' her. Those nights that his ears were gone equated to nights of fear as they anxiously awaited the dawn. As long as those ears were up and aware, Kagome knew, she *knew*, that she would be safe. Danger could not threaten her with those ears on alert.  
  
Inuyasha was still subdued and glaring at her. Very, very slowly, Kagome crawled forward. Equally slowly, she reached out a hand, but paused millimeters from actually touching the furry appendages. This was where her dreams always ended, and she didn't was to reach out only to find Kohaku asleep next to her. But wait. Shippo had had substance. She had definitely felt the little fox cub in her arms. She closed her eyes and swallowed convulsively. Gathering all of her courage, she forced her hand to make that final leap, and made contact.  
  
Her eyes flew open and she stared, incredulous, at her hand, which was absently rubbing Inuyasha's ear. Shocked, her gaze clashed with the hanyou's glare. She quickly pulled her hand back and fisted it over her mouth. She knew she was five seconds from becoming hysterical, so she ruthlessly held back the tears, only giving hiccupping sobs that seemed to stick in her throat.  
  
Inuyasha, meanwhile, had been released from the spell and immediately stood up. He tried to cover his shock at her behavior in his usual way. "Oi!" he said gruffly. "What's the matter with you?"  
  
"No-nothing," she hiccupped. Her hand came down to reveal a blindingly bright smile. "You're a hanyou."  
  
Inuyasha scoffed. "What did you expect, girl? The new moon was two weeks ago."  
  
Kagome frowned. Surely he had meant days, not weeks. She opened her mouth to question him, but something else niggled at her senses. A youkai was headed their way, very fast. A very familiar youkai.  
  
"Kouga-kun!" she cried joyfully as she leapt up.  
  
The others glanced around, but there was no sign of the wolf. Inuyasha even sniffed, but apparently he smelled nothing. Kagome was oblivious as she continued to stare into the woods. A few minutes later, Miroku stiffened, and everyone could see the whirlwind over the tops of the trees. In just a few seconds Kouga had arrived.  
  
"Hey, Kagome!" he greeted, totally ignoring the hanyou that was growling at her side. "I've come to claim you, now that I heard that the dog-turd can't protect you anymore."  
  
"Oi, wimpy wolf," Inuyasha snarled. "I can beat you anytime." He pulled out the Tetsusaiga.  
  
Kouga laughed. "You can barely lift that stupid sword. But if you are serious..."   
  
They launched into a fight. Kagome back up shaking her head. "This is wrong," she whispered. "Something's horribly wrong. Stop it." Her voice was getting louder. "Stop! Inuyasha! Kouga-kun!"  
  
She was screaming by the end, but they weren't listening. Her face hardened, and she picked up her discarded bow. Barely taking the time to aim, she fired at the dueling pair.  
  
Her aim was true, rather miraculously. The arrow flew and hit Tetsusaiga, de-transforming the sword and ricocheting into the sky, still glowing with miko energy. Concentrating as Miroku had taught her, she called the arrow back to her. She noticed, as she absentmindedly leapt to catch the arrow and put it back in her quiver, that Kouga was still traveling too fast. She felt his energies, and realized that there was something that was enhancing his speed. Kagome frowned and raised a hand to call the energy to her. It felt familiar, but she couldn't place it. His legs started to glow, and two shards flew out into her hand.  
  
She stared stupidly at the Shikon shards in her hand. 'That's why it felt familiar,' she thought dazedly. Ignoring the others, who were staring at her in amazement, she took the shards back into Kaede's hut. The whole Shikon no Tama should have been in its pocket and pouch, where she could barely feel it. Again, she didn't realize when everyone piled into the hut behind her. She was too busy staring at her backpack.  
  
About a month ago, they had been attacked by a snake youkai. It was a stupid battle. The snake did not have any shards, nor was it trying to get the shards that they carried. They had found out, later, that it, or rather she, was merely defending her nest. The battle was short, consisting mainly of Inuyasha and Miroku guarding their rear while Kirara retreated with Kagome and an injured Sango. Sango had discovered early in the battle that some youkai could spit acid. The injury had been minor and had healed quickly in the quiet of Kaede's hut. The only true casualty of the battle had been her backpack, which had valiantly taken most of the blow for Sango. Kagome had been forced to get a new one. It was the same color and style as the previous one, with a few minor differences, such as the cell phone pocket where she stored the completed jewel. A cell phone pocket that was missing from the bag in front of her.  
  
"I'm in the past," she murmured dazedly.  
  
"Feh," Inuyasha said. "Where did you expect to be?"  
  
"No," Kagome said as she turned to face them. "You don't understand. I'm from your future as well. A future where the Shikon no Tama has already been completed."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Kouga demanded and was ignored.  
  
"I need to find out exactly when I am," Kagome said. She turned back to the bag to look for clues. "What was the last youkai we fought?"  
  
There was silence behind her as she found the bottle of shards. 'That makes sense,' she thought, 'because Kikyo stole the completed piece before Kouga kidnapped me. Only two shards, so we haven't met that freaky man who ate the fruit of the demon tree. The sword was too heavy for Inuyasha to lift, so it must have broken, but Inuyasha hasn't made it lighter yet. I've already asked Miroku to train me, because the visions didn't occur until I had begun training.'  
  
Suddenly she noticed the silence behind her. Turning around, she realized how uncomfortable everyone was. Inuyasha had turned away, and no one seemed to be able to look at him. Finally Miroku spoke up delicately, "The last youkai Inuyasha fought was Sesshomaru, but he doesn't remember the battle."  
  
"Oh," Kagome said faintly as the information sunk in. The bandits. Sesshomaru had fought Inuyasha after Inuyasha had killed all the bandits. "And Kouga came this morning...." she suddenly realized that she still had Kouga's shards. She quickly held them out, knowing what day it was. "Here, Kouga-kun. Take these and leave. You need to leave before this afternoon."  
  
"What!" Kouga exclaimed indignantly.  
  
"Do you want to encounter Sesshomaru?" Kagome said dryly, knowing just which buttons to push.  
  
Kouga flinched and, as gracefully as possible, accepted the shards. Kagome managed to replace them in his legs with little pain, and he quickly left. Kagome collapsed on the floor of the hut as if her puppet strings had been cut. Shippo approached her cautiously and climbed into her lap.  
  
"Oh, Shippo-chan," she exclaimed, as if realizing for the first time that Shippo was here and alive. She buried her head in his fur, inhaling deeply. "It's been too long." Only Shippo could hear her broken whisper.  
  
There was an embarrassed cough, and Miroku was the first to break the uncomfortable silence. "You say that Sesshomaru will come?"  
  
Kagome gave a great shudder, lifted her head, and nodded. "If I have gotten the day right," she said as the rest sat down. "This day will be a doozy."  
  
She gratefully accepted her lunch from Kaede, and paused to eat some, realizing that she had not had breakfast. "Kouga came and challenged Inuyasha in the morning," she said, "Sesshomaru in the afternoon, and Kikyo called to him in the evening. Add to that a bloody vision of your deaths and it's one big headache."  
  
"Feh," Inuyasha said. "I can handle that. What more concerns me is what you said about the jewel."  
  
A ghost of pain slithered behind the miko's eyes. "Yes, the jewel is complete when I'm from," she said coldly. "And I will do anything in my power to prevent that outcome."  
  
That effectively ended conversation for most of lunch. Miroku tried to initiate a conversation with Sango, but as he used his usual methods, he only ended up with a severe headache and a handprint on his face. Surprisingly, at this display Kagome choked on her lunch. By the time Inuyasha and Shippo had 'helped' her recover (she almost choked again as Shippo got a little overenthusiastic), her choking had dissolved into hysterical laughter.  
  
"Oh my," Kagome gasped as she wiped helpless tears from her eyes. "I shouldn't find that so funny, but you've been tiptoeing around me for a week. To see normal behavior from you..." she laughed again.  
  
There was a snort from behind her. Whirling around, she saw Inuyasha desperately trying to keep a straight face. Shippo was giggling in her lap, and Kaede had turned aside to hide a smile. Sango refused to look at Miroku, who was scratching the back of his head with a smile.   
  
With the ice broken, the rest of the meal passed in comfort. Kagome listened to Shippo's chatter as she ate and helped Kaede clean the bowls. Suddenly she stiffened and stared hard at the door flap.  
  
"He's coming," said Inuyasha, "isn't he?"  
  
At her nod, he smirked and left the hut. Sango grabbed her boomerang and Miroku his staff. They left the hut together. With Shippo on her shoulder and her bow and arrows, Kagome smiled a goodbye to Kaede before leaving.   
  
The battle was already joined by the time she had gotten outside. Inuyasha had not drawn his sword, but kept it by his side to keep from transforming. Sesshomaru had not deigned the fight worthy enough for his sword, so it was poison and whip against claws of blood.  
  
Something niggled at the back of Kagome's mind as she loaded her bow. Something else was important about this day other than the three visitors and the vision, something that she had figured out far after the day had ended. She watched the brothers fight, waiting for the idea to surface. It had something to do with this particular fight, with Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru was fighting Inuyasha, leaving Jaken to guard....Rin! Rin had been kidnapped during a fight between Sesshomaru and Inuyasha. Shouldering her bow, she cautiously felt out, searching for Rin. She couldn't feel her anywhere, but she could feel Jaken, and he was close. However, so were Naraku's youkai. She ran.  
  
She had developed a lot of speed since she had first come to the feudal age, so it wasn't long before she burst into the clearing where Rin and Jaken patiently waited the outcome of the battle.   
  
"Hello!" Rin called out cheerfully. "Who are you?"  
  
"My name is Kagome," she replied a little breathlessly. "This is Shippo."  
  
"Ahhh!" croaked Jaken. "It's Inuyasha's woman!"  
  
Kagome narrowed her eyes, but didn't have time to argue with the youkai. She spoke specifically to Rin, because she knew that wherever Rin went, Jaken had to follow. "Rin," she began. "I am going to ask you to trust me. You are in danger, and you need to come with me."  
  
"Don't trust her!" cried the toad. "She is Sesshomaru-sama's enemy!"  
  
The other youkai were very close, and Rin looked undecided. Kagome decided to play her trump card. "Fluffy-sama told me to come and get you," she said, using the nickname Rin had told her in the future.  
  
The doubts cleared off of Rin's face, and she willingly trotted over to Kagome, who scooped her up and ran. Almost as soon as she had entered the woods again, the youkai burst into the clearing. Kagome heard Jaken's startled scream and quickened her pace. Her senses were screaming with the threat right behind her.  
  
"Kitsune-bi!" Shippo yelled, and the pressure eased up some. Not enough, though, not nearly enough.   
  
Just as her lungs were about her burst, Kagome tore into the field where the others were. What had seemed like a long time to her must not have been, because she practically bowled over Miroku and Sango, who looked like they were running after her. The brothers had paused in their fight, and Sesshomaru looked at Kagome coldly. When he recognized Rin, he pulled out his whip as if to strike, but couldn't seem to find a place to hit that wouldn't endanger Rin. Kagome either didn't see this or didn't heed the warning, because she dodged around Miroku and ran straight for the youkai lord. This behavior stunned Sesshomaru, and he did nothing while Kagome ducked behind him.  
  
The reason for her panicked flight soon became obvious to the others, even if they didn't know who the strange child she carried was. The youkai that burst into the clearing made explanations unnecessary. Sesshomaru drew his sword, Miroku prepared his Kazaana, and Sango hefted her boomerang. Inuyasha had already drawn his sword for use against his brother, but the targets were switched easily. After a few hundred of them had perished, the rest decided to escape while they still could.  
  
"Well," Kagome said into the silence of the battlefield. "This day just keeps getting more and more interesting."  
  
"Rin," Sesshomaru coldly summoned. When the child had disentangled herself from Kagome and had gone to his side, he spoke again, "I thought I told you never to go anywhere without me."  
  
"But," Rin turned confused eyes to the miko. "She said you sent her. She used The Name!"  
  
Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow and looked to Kagome for an explanation. Kagome sighed at having to explain her self again. As briefly as possible, she explained her position and how she knew to use The Name, which Rin had only used while she was captured. She delicately left out any mention of what happened during the actual kidnapping.   
  
Sesshomaru was silent for a long time. "I think," he said finally, "that I owe you thanks." He bowed low, then left with Rin to retrieve Jaken.  
  
Sango stared at Kagome. "Do you realize," she said, "what an honor that was? The only thing greater would be if he granted you a debt."  
  
Kagome nodded. She knew. Sesshomaru had granted her a debt when he discovered that she had allowed herself to be tortured rather than Rin. A debt that she had never formally collected on, because he considered fighting Naraku vengeance, not a payment.  
  
***  
  
The rest of the afternoon and evening past smoothly. Everyone tried to get Kagome to tell more of the future than she had already told. Each had their own methods, from Shippo's bright curiosity to Inuyasha's blunt questions to Miroku's more subtle inquiries. Sango even interrogated her when they took a bath after supper. The worst, however, was Kaede's silence. The weight of her knowledge pressed in on her at those times. She wanted to tell the elder miko of the fate of her sister, but didn't know if she should.  
  
She had already changed the past by saving Rin, and may have lost a significant advantage because of it. She no longer had the debt, and Sesshomaru did not have the hatred of Naraku that he had in her past. She had only thought of saving Rin from the horror of Naraku, but she hadn't considered the prospects for the future. As horrible as that future had been, they had succeeded in defeating Naraku and reuniting the Shikon no Tama. Despite her earlier statement, she did want that part of the future to stay the same.  
  
"Oi!" Inuyasha's voice pierced though her thoughts. "Has your brain escaped you or something? You've been staring at the wall for a long time now."  
  
Kagome sighed. "You know," she said bluntly, "you're a lot nicer to me in the future." It was an outright lie, but she wanted to see how he would react.  
  
He spluttered for a moment, then said scathingly, "Ah, who'd want to be nice to you?"  
  
Sango sucked in her breath and prepare to defend her best friend, but Kagome caught her eye and gave a slight shake of her head. The miko stood and walked over to the hanyou. Inuyasha paled, waiting for the sit.   
  
Kagome knelt right before the hanyou and made sure to catch his eye. "Who'd want to be nice to me?" she asked softly, but with a merry twinkle in her eye. "You would, you good boy!" And she reached out and patted him on the head.  
  
Inuyasha stared at her for a full minute before lunging at her, growling, "Don't do that, wench!"  
  
Shippo squealed as the playful scuffle burst outside. Thoroughly excited, he jumped up onto Inuyasha's head and patted him like Kagome had done. "Good boy," he laughed. "Good boy! Good boy!"  
  
"You little brat!" yelled Inuyasha. "Come back here!"  
  
"Ack!" Shippo yipped. "Save me!"  
  
He dove behind Kagome, who was laughing too much to really notice the charging hanyou. Miroku and Sango had come out to watch the antics as well, and they too were doubled over in laughter. Inuyasha paused in his head long dash to take in all the merriment surrounding him. Everyone seemed to be laughing at him! He huffed, then turned around and prepared to sit, the picture of offended dignity.  
  
Kagome appeared in front of him, smiling gently. "Don't be mad, Inuyasha," she said. "We needed to laugh, and I wasn't being mean."  
  
Her only response was another huff as he began to turn away again. Kagome's sharp eyes caught the twitch of his lips that signaled the suppression of a smile. Grinning again, she caught him by the rosary and began to lead him back to the hut. The strange mixture of offended pride and uncertain surprise on his face was enough to start her laughing again.  
  
Their joy lasted until they were halfway to the hut, when Kagome's senses tingled for the third time that day. Sure enough, pretty soon thereafter one of Kikyo's soul stealers floated out of the forest and circled around the miko and the hanyou. Inuyasha turned to Kagome with an almost apologetic look.  
  
She released his rosary. "Go," she said, reaching up to kiss him on the cheek. "She wants to see you. Just," she paused, and a flash of fear speared through her eyes, "come back, ne?"  
  
He gave a sharp nod and bounded away. Kagome felt more than heard Sango's approach, and leaned into the comfort her best friend tried to offer.  
  
"You aren't going after him." It was a statement, not a question, from the monk.  
  
Kagome shook her head. "This time all she wanted was to see him," she said, "and I screwed that up for them the first time. Just to be near him and talk to him. Can I deny her the privilege that I had every day?"  
  
They didn't have any answer for that, and quietly withdrew. As they walked away, Sango sighed. At Miroku's inquiring look, she said, "Sometimes I think that Kagome is truly the strongest of us all. I don't think I could stand to watch the love of my life constantly go to the arms of another that I know he loves."  
  
She turned to him, and the sadness in her eyes amazed him. "Did you notice," he said, tying to get her mind off of that subject, "that she spoke of him in the past tense? I truly wonder what could have happened in the future that turned our Kagome into this Kagome."  
  
By this time they were at the hut, and Miroku courteously bowed her in first. When she had disappeared through the flap, he stared at his right hand, clenching and unclenching it. "If I survive this madness," he vowed to the absent exterminator, "and you will have me, I swear that you will never have the pain that Kagome feels tonight."  
  
Much, much later that night, a hanyou silently crept out of the woods. Moving swiftly, he practically glided to Kaede's hut, but paused right before it. Kagome was watching his approach, half asleep, absently petting the sleeping fox cub in her arms. She stood, stretching stiffened muscles.  
  
"Why?" Inuyasha asked, perplexed.  
  
"Because I thought you might appreciate the company," she said softly. "Let's go to sleep."  
  
He nodded, and they went inside. He took his usual post against the wall, and she spread out her sleeping bag. Inuyasha was asleep almost immediately, but she tossed and turned, halfway dozing. Something was wrong, different, and she couldn't get to sleep. She tried, in her half awake state, to figure out what was missing. Sleeping bag? Check. Warmth that was Shippo? Check. Warmth that was....not there.   
  
'Silly hanyou,' she thought. 'Why did you sleep way over there?'   
  
Still only half awake, she gathered her sleeping bag and Shippo and stumbled over to the sleeping Inuyasha. Plopping Shippo into his lap (which immediately woke Inuyasha up), she snuggled into his side and spread the opened bag over all three of them. For his part, Inuyasha sat very stiffly, surprised at this new development. Frowning, Kagome reached up a hand and rubbed his ear, causing an involuntary rumble of contentment.   
  
"Relax, Inuyasha," she whispered. "I'm here. Relax and sleep."  
  
She took her own advice, and the hanyou, much to his own amazement, followed soon after.  
  
***  
  
Kagome woke to find herself at her desk, her head in her arms on top of that ridiculous journal. She nearly cried in frustration. The dream had been so real! She had been able to feel everything.  
  
Sighing, she opened the journal to read what she had written the night previous. She laughed and cried again at the tricks of Shippo, the quirks of Kouga, and the antics of Kirara. However, when she turned the page, expecting to find a tribute to Sesshomaru and his entourage, she found a tribute to an entirely different person. The only male survivor of a dead village, the memories recorded were tales from a fond sister. Tales that Kagome couldn't remember ever having heard. Sango had never revealed this much information about Kohaku!  
  
Frantic, she began to search the journal for any mention of Sesshomaru and Rin, but the girl was entirely absent, and the youkai lord only got mentioned in conjunction with Inuyasha's fights. The past had changed. The dream had been real and she had changed the past.  
  
She surged up out of her chair, but soon sank back down. The past may have changed, but the results were the same. Just add one more body to the count. She had had her chance, and blew it. This time she really did cry tears of frustration.   
  
After her tears dried, she sat staring blankly at the wall. Soon her mother poked her head in and said, "Kagome? You did say you wanted to leave in the morning, and it's almost ten."  
  
"Yes, Mama," Kagome said.  
  
She got up and gathered her backpack, not even checking to see if the Shikon no Tama was there. She gave her mom a brief but fierce hug and walked to the well house. More depressed then ever, Kagome jumped through. She arrived on the other side with little fanfare. Dispiritedly she called up, "Is anybody there to help me out?"  
  
Sango's head appeared in the opening. "Hey," she called down cheerfully, "Inuyasha's still sulking, and Miroku's gone to 'help' some of the village women, so I decided to help you up."  
  
*****  
  
Translator's notes: I don't use Japanese often, but when I do it is because I can't think of a good English translation. Having said that, I will attempt to translate the words I do use (other than honorifics and names, which you should know if you watch the series)  
  
In this chapter:  
  
Kitsune-bi: literally 'fox fire'. What Shippo calls out when he produces his attack of blue fire.  
  
Kazaana: Wind Tunnel. Miroku's attack, and the curse on his hand  
  
Ne: kind of a question ending, like adding right? or ok? to the end of a sentence to make it a question.  
  
Review responses:  
  
Reiku Toukijin: Glad you liked it! Here is my next update!  
  
Moonsilver: OF COURSE you're a favorite author. *Bows to the queen of WAFF* I LOVE your fics! Of every fandom! Naraku is gonna die, it's just gonna take a while. (and I didn't think about the rosaries, do you mind if I use that later on?)  
  
Kirsten: *looks smug* of course this fic is cool, I wrote it!! Seriously, I am glad you liked it.  
  
Aamelie: *Suffers from severe case of over-inflated ego* *blush* ummmmmm... glad you liked it? I am not sure what to do with so many compliments, but it sure helped in getting this chapter out!  
  
Lori: LOVE THE BETA-READER!!!!!!! Thank you for all of your help!!! And, all, your, patience, with, my, comma, problem!  
  
Author's notes:  
  
The Kikyo explanation: I am a total Kag/Inu fan. But that does not mean I think that Kikyo is a total bitch either. (Well, I used to think so, but then I saw some eps in season four. They showed Kikyo going off by herself into the woods and wondering to herself what the hell she was doing. She's got to have something besides hate in there.) One of the things Rumiko Takahashi is good about is making all of the characters well rounded. To have Kikyo be only a hateful, revenge seeking bitch is to lose Takahashi's character. And while it makes the fanfiction easier, I won't do it.  
  
Random beta plug: Lori is WONDERFUL! Last week she sends me a random picture she just drew, and I included the scene in the fic as a tribute to her great artistry. So if you want to see a pic of the scene where Kagome is leading Inuyasha around by the rosary, go to:  
  
http://www.angelfire. com/bug/art0/ iy/banner/necklace1.jpg  
  
(cut and paste into address bar, then remove spaces)  
  
And for those who are interested:  
  
For Such an Akugi (Parody):  
  
Warmth that was Shippo? Check. Warmth that was....not there.  
  
'Silly hanyou,' she thought. 'Trix are for kids!' 


	3. The More They Stay the Same

Disclaimer: Do I LOOK like Rumiko Takahashi? *realizes that you can't see me* ummmm yeah, moving on....  
  
Warnings: Nothing in this chapter, unless you hate Kikyo, or Shippo.   
  
Author's note: I managed to confuse EVERYONE!!! For those who guessed Groundhog day, or something similar, you were mostly correct.  
  
Review Responses at end  
  
For Such a Time as This  
  
Chapter 3: ...The More They Stay the Same  
  
Kagome stared up at Sango's smiling face in shock. This was her dream; the past, the past-past, not the present-past or the future-past... she stopped thinking about it. It only confused her more. As she stared up at Sango, she decided to experiment.   
  
"I just realized I forgot something," she called apologetically. "I'll be right back."  
  
Sango nodded, and her head disappeared. Kagome painfully climbed halfway up the well, took a deep breath, and fell back down. She closed her eyes, the familiar flying/falling sensation took a hold of her and...  
  
And she woke up, at her desk, with her head in her arms on top of the now familiar journal. She shook her head, confused, then leapt up and ran down to the kitchen. Breezing by her mother, she grabbed her bag and ran to the well. Jumping through, Kagome called out, hardly daring to hope, "Is anybody there to help me out?"  
  
Sango's head appeared in the opening, much to her relief. "Hey," she called down cheerfully, "Inuyasha's still sulking, and Miroku's gone to 'help' some of the village women, so I decided to help you up."  
  
Kagome tossed her bag up and followed soon thereafter. She sat on the side of the well to catch her breath and to think. She was in the past-past again, and it seemed that if she went back through the well or fell asleep, she would simply go back to the beginning. She had been given the chance to change her mistake.  
  
She drew a deep breath to calm herself. She would just have to be extremely careful not to change the past at all. If the past was set right again, the loop could be fixed and she would return to her proper time. She would just have to be careful. The future hadn't been great, but at least Sango had been happy.  
  
She suddenly realized that Sango was staring at her oddly. "I'm fine, Sango," she said. "Just a little tired."  
  
"I'll carry your bag then," Sango said.  
  
"Are you sure? I managed to bring all of my textbooks this time," Kagome said teasingly.  
  
"It can't be any heavier than the Hiraikotsu," Sango responded in the same tone. She lifted the bag and staggered a little. "Then again..."  
  
They both were laughing as they started off towards the village.   
  
"Shall I make a wild guess as to how many bumps will be on Miroku-sama's head by the time he is finished 'helping' the village women?" Kagome asked.  
  
"Why, Kagome-chan!" Sango said, shocked. "You should know by now that he'll have none!"  
  
Kagome merely level a Look at her; one that demanded that she drop the other shoe.  
  
Sango was only able to hold her stoic face for so long under The Look. "He won't have any bumps on his head," she said, "until he's through 'helping' me."  
  
They were halfway to the village by now, and Kagome, warned by past experience, braced herself for the vision. Her forewarning did not err, but her preparation did her no good. The vision still sent shaft of pain and sorrow through her heart, making it race as her body prepared for a battle that wasn't going to happen. Then Naraku spoke. Her veins turned to ice, her breath stuck in her throat, and her hands began to shake. Somehow knowing that the vision would come, knowing exactly which images would be shown, made the experience all the worse.  
  
Finally the vision released its hold on her. She blinked, and once more Sango was standing in front of her. Her best friend looked extremely worried about her, and she smiled reassuringly as she frantically tried to remember what she had told Sango the first time. She knew that she hadn't told any of her friends about the visions, but couldn't remember what excuse she had used.  
  
"It's just a sudden chill," she said finally. "I feel like something important is going to happen today."  
  
Maybe not the excuse she had used the first time, but it was a good lie, and could be justified by the events of the day. At the very least, Sango seemed to accept it, and they passed the rest of the walk to the village in a comfortable silence... a silence that was interrupted by a barreling Kitsune, screaming out Kagome's name.  
  
Sango hid a grin as Kagome grunted at the impact. The resulting ouswari and argument was so typical that she barely paid any attention to the details. She did start paying attention when Kagome turned for scolding voice on Shippo.  
  
"Honest," he was saying, "I wasn't doing anything to him!"  
  
Kagome merely looked at him. Like Sango before him, he couldn't hold up for long under That Look. Scuffing a foot on the ground, he refused to look at her as he grudgingly admitted, "I was only asking when you would be back, and maybe, you know, blaming him for you leaving, and, well, maybe, punishing him a bit for it..." he stuttered to a halt and closed his eyes, waiting for the punishment.  
  
Kagome knelt before the little fox cub and gently tapped him on the nose. "I think," she said softly, "that you owe someone an apology."  
  
Shippo stared at her, wide-eyed, but, as her determination did not waver, he was forced to turn around and mumble a reluctant apology to the sitting hanyou. Inuyasha's smirk grew at Shippo's humiliation. Kagome observed this and decided that Inuyasha needed a talking to as well.   
  
"Now," she said with forced cheer, "all Inuyasha has to do is apologize and the rest can be forgotten."  
  
"What!" Inuyasha exclaimed. "I already got sat for this! No way am I gonna say I'm sorry as well."  
  
"Inuyasha," Kagome said, frowning. "I apologize for subduing you before I knew the facts. However, now that Shippo has apologized for his behavior, you should apologize for you over-reaction."  
  
"Feh," was the only response as he turned away.  
  
"Inuyasha," she said, more warning in her tone. "Ousw-"  
  
"Fine! Fine," he said hastily. "I'm sorry," he said to Shippo. "There, ya happy now?"  
  
She winced at the sarcasm in his tone. "No," she said as she turned to go into the hut, defeat in her tone. "I'm not happy. I won't be happy until you will be decent and polite without me threatening to smash your face into the ground. But that's about as likely as you having silver hair on a new moon."  
  
Just as she entered the hut, Kouga appeared at the furthest edges of her senses. She paused for the barest instant before moving on. He wouldn't be here for a bit, and she wasn't supposed to be able to sense him at that distance in any case. She greeted Kaede half-heartedly and sat down.  
  
"That was quite a display, child," Kaede said dryly.  
  
"Do you think it'll have any effect, Kaede-basan?" she asked wearily.  
  
"I don't know," Kaede mused thoughtfully. "You know how stubborn he is, but you didn't see the look he gave you at your last words. He looked like you punched him in the gut."  
  
"Oh no!" Kagome exclaimed as she stood up. "I'd better go apologize."  
  
As she said those words, cries of 'mangy mutt' and 'wimpy wolf' were heard outside, and Kaede chuckled. "I don't think he'll hear any apology you try to make now," she said.  
  
Kagome sighed. "I'd better go separate them," she said, "before they kill themselves."  
  
She ran out of the hut, frantically trying to remember what she had done that day. As she eyed the fight, her actions came back to her and she nearly groaned. She had been particularly stupid the first time around. Waiting for the appropriate moment in the fight, she mentally prepared herself for the pain to come. Finally Kouga prepared a perfect jump kick, and she knew it was time to move.   
  
"Ouswari!" she called for the second time that day as she ran between the combatants. "Kouga-kun, stop!"  
  
There was no way to avoid contact. Kouga's perfect jump kick landed on Kagome, sending her flying into the small stream that ran outside the hut. She quickly washed on shore up a few feet downstream.  
  
"Oww," she muttered as she sat up, wincing.  
  
"Kagome-chan!" "Kagome-sama!" Sango and Miroku called out as they ran to her. Sango reached her first, and called out, "Shippo, go get Kaede-basan!"  
  
This order seemed to snap Kouga out of his paralysis, and he started to go over to the fallen girl. For once Inuyasha was quicker than the wolf, and Kouga found himself staring at the business end of the Tetsusaiga.  
  
"Take one more step towards her," Inuyasha growled, "and I will personally see to it that it will be the last step you ever take."  
  
Kouga backed away from the murderous intent in the hanyou's eyes. Holding his arms up peaceably, he called out, "I'm sorry, Kagome. That blow was not meant for you."  
  
"I know, Kouga-kun," she responded, a little breathless. He had knocked the wind out of her, at least. "However," she continued, "now would be a good time to leave, I think."  
  
Kouga nodded, and without even a farewell, the whirlwind appeared, and he was gone. Miroku and Sango helped Kagome into the hut, and Kaede looked over her injuries as Inuyasha paced outside with what he wouldn't admit as nervous energy. Once told that her injuries were minor, he ran off into the forest to work off some of the built up energy.  
  
Inside the hut, Kagome rested against the wall with Shippo on her lap, while Miroku and Kaede sat before her. Sango was off to the side, cleaning her boomerang. Kagome had decided to have a lesson while her injury kept her immobilized.  
  
"The most important thing to remember," Kaede began, "is that your powers don't distinguish between youkai. Without direction, a blast could hurt Shippo or Inuyasha."  
  
Kagome's fingers twitched against Shippo's fur as Miroku continued the lesson, "Right now your powers focus on your arrows; simply the act of firing provides the direction and focus. When your powers mature, you'll be able to provide your own blasts. From what we can tell, you will have a lot of power when you mature, so you will need to learn to control them, especially if you want to remain close to the youkai in our group."  
  
Kagome nodded, then asked the question she was supposed to ask. "How will I know when my powers mature?"  
  
"One of us could tell, or anyone that can sense it. Sango would probably know, and certainly Inuyasha," Miroku explained. "There's usually a rather spectacular light show involved, so you'll know as well. Afterwards you can feel more things, not just aura's you are already familiar with."  
  
"Okay," Kagome said.  
  
"But first and foremost you need control," Kaede said. "Close your eyes and relax. Take a deep breath..."  
  
***  
  
"You bastard! Come back here!" Inuyasha snarled.  
  
Sesshomaru gave no response save a raised eyebrow, as he pressed his attack. Kagome resisted the urge to roll her eyes as the brothers fought. Her lesson (and a late lunch) had been interrupted by Inuyasha's curses. Kagome and the rest had gone outside to see the battle already begun. She now held her bow loosely in her hands, an arrow ready to cock and shoot. She wasn't sure if she could actually shoot with her bruised ribs, but knew from past experience that she wouldn't have to. So she just stared at the fight and anxiously waited for Rin to be stolen. It broke her heart to put the girl through that pain, but it had to be done if Kohaku was to survive. Finally Jaken came stumbling out of the woods.  
  
"Sesshomaru-sama! It's horrible!" the little youkai panted.  
  
Sesshomaru paused the fight. "Jaken," he said. "I thought I told you to-"  
  
He cut himself off abruptly. Turning to his rather curious audience, he said coldly, "We will finish this later, pup. Jaken has reminded me of my responsibilities."  
  
'A good lie,' thought Kagome, 'but now I can see how worried you are about the girl.' "I'm sorry," she whispered.  
  
She was running to stop a furious Inuyasha from charging after his brother, so she missed Sesshomaru's brief pause at the edge of the forest. Inuyasha's curses took up all of her attention.  
  
"That bastard!" he growled. "What does he think he is doing, walking out in the middle of the fight? I bet he just told Jaken to come when it looked like he was losing. I oughta go after him and rip out his throat. I oughta-"  
  
"Please, Inuyasha, don't," pleaded Kagome. "Just leave this one alone, ne?"  
  
Inuyasha looked at her in amazement. "You're defending him?" he asked. "Why? And why did you apologize to him?"  
  
Kagome giggled nervously, "You heard that?"  
  
" 'Course I did!" Inuyasha exclaimed indignantly. "It was loud enough that he probably heard as well."  
  
Kagome began backing up nervously, and ran into Sango. Her best friend steadied her through her hiss of pain. She avoided the question by turning to Miroku, "I should finish my lesson now, ne?"  
  
Miroku nodded, seeming a little confused. Kagome practically ran back to the hut as fast as her bruised ribs would allow, leaving the others standing in the battle scared field. Finally, Miroku cleared his throat.  
  
"Is it just me," he said, "or is Kagome-sama behaving a little strangely today?"  
  
The others nodded and Shippo jumped up onto his shoulder. "She even scolded me!" he exclaimed indignantly. Sango and Miroku rolled their eyes.  
  
"Feh," said Inuyasha. "That's something I wouldn't change."  
  
"You don't understand!" Shippo cried, frustrated. "She scolded me in the youkai manner!" He tapped his own nose for emphasis. "How did she know to do that?"  
  
That gave the others something to ponder as the walked back to the hut. At least Sango and Miroku walked back. Inuyasha had stalked off into the forest again, and Shippo was still riding on Miroku. They entered the hut and went back to their interrupted activities, Kagome and Miroku to her lesson, Sango to the Hiraikotsu, and Shippo to his crayons. Inuyasha did not come back until just before supper.  
  
***  
  
"Ahhh, look at the stars, Shippo-chan!" Kagome exclaimed as she flopped onto the grass.   
  
The atmosphere had been tense all afternoon, and by supper she couldn't stand it anymore. She barely managed to choke down her food before she left, Shippo trailing after. This day had been exhausting. Right now she couldn't remember the excuse she had had the first time this day had happened, and, truthfully, she no longer cared. She just knew she had to be outside to see Kikyo's soul stealers, and she had used any excuse necessary to escape the atmosphere inside the hut.  
  
"Kagome?"  
  
Kagome blinked and belatedly realized that Shippo had been talking to her. "I'm sorry, Shippo-chan," she said. "What were you saying?"  
  
"I was wondering if you knew the stories of the stars," he said.  
  
"Well, I know a few," she said, and pointed out the constellations that she knew and the stories behind them. Shippo listened quietly until she finally stumbled to a halt. For lack of anything else to say, she asked, "Do you know any star stories, Shippo-chan?"  
  
"Yes!" Shippo said, nodding enthusiastically. "My mom told me one about the river of the heavens."  
  
"I would like to hear it," she said, smiling.  
  
"Okay!" Shippo got up and assumed a 'storytelling pose,' his hands behind his back and his nose in the air. "One day the daughter of the emperor, Orihime, was sitting beside the river of the heavens. She had been weaving because her father, Tentei, liked the pretty clothes she made. But she was sad because she had never fallen in love. Tentei arranged a marriage for her, and she was very happy with her new husband, Kengyuu.   
  
"But Tentei grew angry, because Orihime was neglecting her weaving. As punishment, Tentei banished Kengyuu back to the other side of the river. They could only meet on one day of the year, the seventh day of the seventh month, when the river is low and Orihime can cross to meet her Kengyuu. But if she has not done her weaving properly, Tentei will make it rain so that the river will flood and Orihime can't cross.   
  
"On clear nights you can see Orihime Boshi and Kengyuu Boshi on either side of the river of the heavens." He looked up and pointed them out to her, one star on each side of the Milky Way.  
  
"That was a beautiful story, Shippo-chan," Kagome said  
  
"Feh."  
  
"Inuyasha!" Kagome shrieked. "You startled me!"  
  
"Humph," he dismissed her concern with a shrug. "Oi, kid. You forgot about the boatman and the magpies."  
  
"What!" squeaked Shippo. "There's no boatman in that legend!"  
  
"Sure there is," Inuyasha scoffed. "The boatman who ferries her across the river, and the magpies that fly her across when the river floods."  
  
"That's not in the story!" Shippo challenged.  
  
"Yes, it is!" was the response.  
  
"Is not!"  
  
"Is too!"  
  
"Both of you calm down! You're both right," Kagome cried, giggling. 'Honestly,' she thought, 'those two are worse than me and Souta!' "The legend your mom told you, Shippo-chan, was an older version. When it came to Japan it acquired the boatman and the magpies."  
  
"Oh," Shippo said, oddly disappointed. "So, you had already heard the story, Kagome."  
  
"Y-yes," she said, suddenly aware of how she might have hurt his feelings. "But I've never heard it told so well."  
  
Shippo puffed up with pride. Inuyasha prepared to deflate him with a well chosen word or two, but a pointed glare from Kagome to his rosary reminded him of his priorities. Kagome's eyes traveled to something behind him, and the change in her countenance was astounding. All gentle humor left as her eyes became grim and determined. The pain he had caught flashes of earlier in the day was back full force. He turned to see what would have affected such a change. He was answered almost immediately. Kikyo's soul stealers floated just outside the forest edge. Even as he spotted them, one of them separated from the group to circle around him. Without a second thought he jumped up and ran after it.  
  
"Shippo-chan," Kagome said very seriously, "could you go and get my bow and arrows? I have to go and save Inuyasha from himself."  
  
As Shippo nodded and ran away, Kagome buried her head in her arms. 'God, why does it have to be this way? She didn't mean any harm this time, why do I have to be the one to ruin it?' she thought despairingly. 'We're really too alike, you know. Past her hate and my pride, all we really want is his happiness. We both just want to be a part of it.'  
  
By this time Shippo had returned with bow and arrows, Sango and Miroku trailing behind him. She gratefully took them and shook her head at the others' offers of assistance. Shouldering her weapon, she gave them one final sad smile before she ran off in pursuit of her love and her greatest rival, herself.  
  
* * *  
  
"I'm not sure how many more of these Kagome can survive," Sango said thoughtfully.  
  
At Miroku's inquiring look, Sango explained, "Every time she comes back in tears. There is only so much a girl can take before she begins to resent the object of her love. It must rip out her soul every time she sees the one she loves in the arms of another."  
  
"You sound as if you speak from experience," Miroku said slyly.  
  
"I-I," Sango floundered, suddenly mesmerized by the monk's eyes.  
  
"Sango," he declared dramatically, gathering up her hands into his. "From this day for the I take a new vow. Never shall you feel the pain Kagome feels tonight. Henceforward," he paused, and Sango held her breath in anticipation, "I will grope only you!"  
  
Though the growl that followed was soft, the slap was surely loud enough to startle even Kagome.  
  
***  
  
"What do you want, Kikyo?" Inuyasha finally asked.  
  
He had arrived at the clearing to find Kikyo, who seemed content to stare at him in silence. He had been aware of their audience for sometime. Kagome's scent almost overpowered Kikyo's, and he was amazed that Kikyo did not seem to know of the other girl's presence. His question seemed to startle her though, and she finally stepped forward to reach one hand up to his face. The hand didn't connect for the longest time, but when it did she seemed to stumble forward so that he had no choice but to catch her.  
  
"No!" Kagome called, and ran into the clearing, arrow at the ready. "Get away from him! He still has work to do, goals to achieve!"  
  
Kikyo broke out of Inuyasha's embrace. "And what about me?" she said coldly. "Did I not have goals, did I not still have work to do? Foolish girl. I am not always vengeful. But since you interrupted our meeting, you deserve to be punished."  
  
Suddenly her soul stealers appeared and swirled around her. Inuyasha stepped protectively in front of Kagome. This seemed to come as a blow to Kikyo, and she gathered up her soul stealers and left the clearing. After she left, Inuyasha hunched over, hiding himself from Kagome.  
  
"Inuyasha?" she said tentatively. 'Time to play out the rest,' she thought. "Are you alright?"  
  
"Why must she mean harm every single time according to you?" he snarled. "She is human, or was, and she has part of your soul, for God's sake. You'd think you'd understand her a little more!"  
  
"I'm sorry," she said with tears in her eyes. "I didn't mean any harm."  
  
"Yeah, well, this time neither did she! You were the one to initiate it this time!" he growled, and finally turned to look at her. The raw pain in his eyes made her step back.  
  
"I'm sorry," she repeated helplessly. She turned to run out of the clearing like she was supposed to, but his short bark of laughter startled her.  
  
"Sorry," he said sarcastically. "That seems to be your favorite word today. Maybe you should go with that wimpy wolf, who still manages to apologize even after he beats you up. Go ahead, run away. You'll be hearing no apologies from me." And he laughed again.  
  
She ran back to the hut with her hands over her ears, but he laughter still echoed cruelly in her head. That hadn't happened the first time! Without explanation to either Sango or Miroku she threw herself on her bedding and cried herself to sleep.  
  
***  
  
She woke up at her desk on top of that blasted journal. Eyeing it cautiously, she tried to work up the courage to open it. She knew, even being as careful as she had been, that she had tweaked the past slightly. She did not want to find Sango or Miroku in that journal.  
  
She stared at it for at least half an hour before she finally got the courage to open it. Shippo came first. The tears started to fall as she read about the fox, the wolf, and the fire cat. She hesitated again before turning the page when Kirara's section was through. Closing her eyes, she turned the page quickly. Steeling her courage, she opened her eyes to find a tribute to Sesshomaru. She exhaled in relief, only to hate herself for being relieved over his death. She skimmed over his section to read the section on Inuyasha, but it wasn't there. There was a tribute Kohaku. She stared at it in disbelief. Kohaku should have survived!   
  
She flipped back to Sesshomaru's section and read it more closely. When she was done she stared at the passage in astonishment. One word! One stupid little word to appease her guilty consciousness had changed the past again. Not that she had said so in any explicit terms, but in the light of day it was clear.  
  
"For some reason," she had written, "Sesshomaru blamed me of Rin's capture. Not that I had anything to do with it, but that I could have prevented it, and chose not to. I have no idea where he got such a notion, as I had protected Rin with all my might. Whatever the reason, this belief caused him to go against Naraku alone. He fought alone and died alone. Rin and Jaken were killed shortly thereafter."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Author's note: I don't like writing Kikyo!! *Whines* She's HARD!!!! I hope I got her somewhat in character, though. Other than that I don't have much to say, except that I apologize for Inuyasha's behavior at the end of the chapter. Bad Hanyou! Even I winced when I wrote it!  
  
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Review Responses:  
  
(FF.net)  
  
Aamelie: I am very much a Miroku and Sango fan as well!! We need more fics of them!! Glad you agree with me on Kikyo. And feel free to rant, I like long reviews.  
  
Moonsilver: Thank you for letting me use your idea, it will be used two chapters from now (I think). I hope I cleared up everything for you in this chapter. It shouldn't be so confusing from here on in.  
  
Aja hanna: Hopefully this chapter answered you questions, but if you are still confused you can email me with specific questions and I will answer them. My email is on my bio page.  
  
Tessie-fanfic: Glad you like it and you've guessed right!! I will try to update soon!  
  
Bluecyberdragon8: I will warn you for this fanfic, take nothing for granted. The dead come back to life! Bwa ha ha ha ha!!!  
  
Aldlen Hawke: Glad you liked the story, and my writing! Too bad I can't come up with any original ideas, because I would love to do this for a living! (I can only tweak other's ideas *bows to Rumiko Takahashi*)  
  
(Mediaminer.org)  
  
Aditu: Yay! My first review on media miner!!! *Blushes from the amount of tens on the screen* I'm really glad that the only problem is that there was only two chapters. I can fix that!!!  
  
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Sorry, no parody this time!  
  
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WS 


	4. The Winds of Fate

Disclaimer: *hides Miroku-sama behind her back* What, me? No, couldn't possibly be-aaaahhhhhh! *Slap* Nope, not me at all.  
  
Warnings: A little bit of Kagome OOC-ness  
  
A/N: silly me, I got the name of Kagome's friend wrong. Ayame is a MALE character from Fruits Basket, where as Ayumi is Kagome's friend. Is changed in previous chapters  
  
Translations: I'll put these here, because there are some words that you need to know before the end of the chapter. (some of these definitions I am not certain of, but when I say it, this is what I mean.)  
  
Baka-usually translated as idiot, but can mean stupid or foolish as well. NOT much of an insult at all  
  
Yocatta-"I'm glad" or "Thank goodness" small prayer to a god in thanks.  
  
Youki- a youkai's "signature" how a spiritualist can tell one youkai from another. (It's what Miroku "senses" in people's houses when he wants someplace to stay for the night)  
  
Jyaki- the youkai equivalent to a monk's or miko's powers, generally VERY nasty. Also can indicate the presence of a ghost  
  
Ofuda- the little pieces of paper that monks and mikos use to fight spirits and/or seal things  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
For Such a Time as This  
  
Chapter 4: The Winds of Fate  
  
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'Even if, being as careful as I was' Kagome thought, dazed. 'I still managed to change the past, how am I ever going to fix things?' She sat there, pondering, wondering about her options. Finally she gave up and went to seek out a higher authority, one that had never failed her in giving good advice, and one whose judgment she trusted completely.  
  
"Mama?" Kagome called, poking her head into the kitchen. "Can I talk to you for a bit?"  
  
"Sure," her mother replied, drying off her hands.  
  
"I'm going to explain something to you," Kagome began, "and it may sound a little crazy, but I want you to hear me out."  
  
"Crazier then the fact that I have a daughter who happened to go through the family well into the past to fight youkai?" Eyes twinkling, her mother prepared some tea for the both of them.  
  
Her daughter only answered with a cynical laugh. At her raised eyebrow, Kagome said, "It can get much crazier, Mama."  
  
"Kagome, what's wrong?" the woman replied. "You seem different than yesterday."  
  
"I've lived at least two days since then, Mama," Kagome responded. She pushed ruthlessly on. "Each day I would wake up at my desk with a startlingly vivid dream of the previous day. And each day I would jump through the well to end up in the past. But it wouldn't be my past, or at least not the past I was expecting. What happens now when I jump through the well is that I end up further back in the past then I should. I always go back to the same day, but when I wake up I'm back here."  
  
"Ok," her mom thought for a second. "So you keep reliving the same day in the past, and you come back here, even if you don't go through the well?"  
  
"Yes," Kagome nodded, happy to be understood. "I need some advice on what to do. I unintentionally changed the past the first time, but when I tried to fix things, it only ended up being worse."  
  
"Is there anything particularly special about the day you go back to?" her mother mused.  
  
"Other than everyone and their grandmother's second cousin showing up to fight Inuyasha, not really. There weren't any major battles, and we didn't find out any crucial information. It was just a day," Kagome huffed, frustrated.  
  
"But it sounds like a very eventful day," her mother said. "Maybe you are supposed to change something about that day. If there were a lot of people there that day, you have a lot of elements to work with. It sounds like you have time to find the right combination of elements to break the loop."  
  
"Okay," Kagome said dubiously.  
  
"How do you know that you have changed the past?" Her mother asked after a moment of silence.  
  
"All of... yesterday, I guess, I wrote in a journal that Ayumi gave me. The contents of the journal change when I change the past. I don't exactly know what happens to those who are not in the journal, but I know who has died. I wish I didn't," Kagome said bitterly.  
  
Her mother stood up and moved around the table to envelope Kagome in a hug. The miko felt comfortable for the first time since this ordeal started. Finally! Someone who understood and offered advice and support. As much as she loved her makeshift family in the past, sometimes a girl simply needed her mother.  
  
"I know this is hard for you," her mom whispered, "but I raised you to be a strong girl. Keep in mind that, most likely, these events won't be remembered by anyone. It sounds cruel, but when you finally get it right, no one will remember the journey you took to get there. It will be painful for you, maybe, but not for them."  
  
Kagome blinked. She had never thought of it that way before. No matter what she did on the day in question, as long as she was still in the loop she had a chance of fixing things. She would have to be careful, because she wasn't sure what was causing the loop, but she could do it. She could change the past so that none of the bad stuff happened!  
  
She pulled away from the embrace and beamed at her mother. It was the first smile that she had felt from the heart in... well, she couldn't remember how long. "Thanks, Mama," she called out as she ran to get her backpack. "I knew I could count on you!"  
  
She lugged her bag to the well and jumped in. The joy was back. She practically shrieked as if she was on a roller coaster ride when the well finally dumped her on the other side. Checking to make sure she was in the right past, she called out, "Is anybody there to help me out?"  
  
Sango's head appeared and she called down the familiar response. Kagome's smile rivaled the sun, and held until she got out of the well. It was so contagious that Sango was grinning even as she asked what had happened that caused Kagome to be so happy.  
  
"Nothing," Kagome sing-songed. At Sango's frank look of disbelief, she giggled and said, "Yes, it's something, but it's a se-cret!"  
  
Try as she might, Sango could not get the laughing girl to admit the cause of her happiness. She guessed everything from a good grade on one of her tests to learning that she would not have to study for at least a week. Finally she started guessing wildly.  
  
"Shippo has declared his undying love for you, and you now have another potential mate," she said, laughing.  
  
"Nope," was the response.  
  
"Miroku has?" Sango was pulling at straws.  
  
"Not even close," Kagome said. She knew that she was behaving a little strangely, but all the freedom she had just discovered was going to her head.  
  
"You've discovered that the hidden secret to defeating Naraku is his secret love for little pink bunnies!" Sango concluded.  
  
It wasn't the suggestion that made Kagome stop. Now matter how close to the truth it was, Kagome did not break her good humor for that. They were now halfway to the village.  
  
Her hilarity somewhat dimmed by Naraku's words, she continued towards the village. Sango followed, perplexed by Kagome's sudden mood shift. Finally she grabbed Kagome by the arm and forced her friend to face her.  
  
"What's the matter with you today?" she demanded.  
  
"Honestly, Sango-chan," she said, "I'm not sure you would believe me even if I told you. Suffice to say I've learned something that has made me incredibly happy."  
  
"But what caused you to deflate so?" Sango asked, perplexed.  
  
'Come on, Kagome,' she thought, 'You can come up with a lie she'll believe. You did it the first time around.' Hoping that her pause wasn't too noticeable, she said teasingly, "Well it can't be good for me to be too happy to come back here. We wouldn't want Inuyasha to have more reasons to keep me here."  
  
Sango stifled a giggle. "You're right," she acknowledged.  
  
"Speaking of the baka..." Kagome mused.  
  
As if on cue, a screaming Shippo came barreling towards them, having seen them at the edge of the woods. An ouswari, many yells, a few explanations, and a couple of reluctant apologies later, Kagome was finally left on her own to think. She dropped her bag off in the hut and walked off to find a place to be by herself. She earned an extremely odd look from Miroku, who she passed on the way to the edge of the forest. She couldn't understand it for the longest time. It was only when she sat at the base of the tree, had to adjust her quiver and set aside her bow that she realized what Miroku was staring at.  
  
She didn't even remember picking them up, or why she possibly thought she'd need them. Sure, she was going off to be by herself, but Inuyasha, Sango, Miroku, heck, even Shippo and Kaede were within shouting distance. She knew what would happen today, so it wasn't like she was preparing for an unexpected attack. It just seemed natural to grab them, and she wondered when that had begun. She hadn't done it when she watched the stars last night, but she had had the whole day to become accustomed to the relative peace of this time. In this time, she knew, she had been more likely to forget her arrows then bring them unnecessarily. Even when they were traveling, her arrows often stayed by the campfire or in her room for the night. When had she grown so cautious that it was a necessity to bring them everywhere?  
  
'Stop thinking about that,' she told herself. 'You can be scared about how paranoid you've gotten later. Right now you need to think about how to change the future'  
  
Suddenly the task seemed daunting to her. What could she possibly change now that would affect a battle three months from now? Everything she had tried before had only messed it up more! She was only one girl, and a not very powerful one at that. If this had happened to any of the others, she was sure they would know exactly what to do. Whereas she...she was panicking. Taking long, deep breaths, she closed her eyes and forced herself to calm down and look at the situation logically.   
  
So far, all she had been able to accomplish in the past was prevent someone from being at the battle, Sesshomaru, to be exact. The first time it saved his own hide; the second time killed him again. If she could prevent someone from being at the battle and thereby prevent her explosion, without affecting the outcome of the battle, who would it be?  
  
She opened her eyes as a familiar rush of wind blew past. The whirlwind resolved itself into Kouga before her eyes. They stared at each other for a full minute before Kouga knelt and took her hands in a familiar gesture.  
  
"I don't understand, Kagome," he said, "how that mutt expects to protect you if he leaves you out at the edge of the forest all by yourself."  
  
"Oi, wimpy wolf," Inuyasha said, "I've been here almost the entire time, and for once she brought her weapons, so she shouldn't need protection from you."  
  
Startled, Kagome glanced up into the tree she had been leaning against. Sure enough, Inuyasha was leaning against the trunk on one of the upper branches. She was so worried about whether he had witnessed her earlier panic attack that she totally missed the opening insults that led to the fight. All of a sudden she found herself staring at Kouga as he fought, thinking hard. Kouga had not contributed much to the final battle, other than to rescue her once. Her eyes widened. His rescue of her had been the first step, the first stage of her anger. If he wasn't there, she might not have exploded!  
  
The problem was that she didn't know how to prevent him from being there. He was so persistent that whatever she did would have to be extreme. Could she hurt him like that? She wavered, but caught sight of Shippo standing on the side lines on the other side of the field. Yes, for all of their sakes, she would do practically anything.  
  
She gripped her bow hard as she stood, waiting for her moment. She would have to keep careful control, and act totally against her own character, but she thought she could do it.  
  
Finally the jump kick arrived. As she had done the previous day, she activated the subduing spell and stepped in between the combatants. This time was different only in the fact that she kept a hold of her bow as she flew across the field to land in the water. By the time she sat up. Sango and Miroku were by her side, and Shippo was running to get Kaede.  
  
With Sango's support, she stood up and looked over to find Inuyasha confronting Kouga, preventing him from coming near. Her hands started to shake as she gripped her bow. Sensing that she was losing her nerve, she closed her eyes and conjured up a picture of the final battle. Shippo's scared squeals, Miroku's resigned step as he walked to his death, Inuyasha's desperate struggles, the shockingly peaceful expression on Sango's unconscious face, all flashed through her mind in an instant. The image that stayed with her, however, was of Kouga, broken and bleeding at her feet. She would do anything to save any one of them. Her eyes, when she opened them, caused Miroku to stumble backward from the intensity of her gaze.  
  
Kouga had just finished calling out his apology when he caught the full heat of her glare. Without losing a second, Kagome drew her bow and fired. It was a lucky thing that Kouga was too shocked to move. As it was, the arrow barely grazed his legs, knocking the shards out of them. Obviously thinking that this was all some horrible misunderstanding, he moved to retrieve them. In an instant Kagome's bow was once again cocked and aimed directly at him.  
  
"If you make any move, whatsoever," Kagome said coldly, "other than to get the hell away from here, I will shoot and pin you to a tree so fast that you won't be able to blink. And believe me, I won't be setting you free anytime soon."  
  
He looked so shocked that she felt herself wavering once again. 'No,' she thought firmly. 'This is to save him. Think about how you felt when he first kidnapped you, imagine him as Naraku, do anything that might help, just see this through to the end.' Resolve newly firmed, she narrowed her eyes even further and called out, "Kouga, you're trying my patience. Leave. Now."  
  
This time Kouga took the hint. Backing away slowly, he finally turned and ran. Kagome didn't relax her stance until he disappeared from the furthest reaches of her senses. When she was sure he had gone for good, she collapsed on the ground, arms wrapped around her ribs, which were aching from the abuse she had put them through.  
  
"Yocatta," she whispered softly. "Thank you, Kouga"  
  
She looked up only to find that everyone had backed away from her. Miroku had his staff held in a defensive position, and Inuyasha was clenching and unclenching his hands, looking like he wasn't sure whether he wanted to attack or not. Sango, Shippo, and even Kaede were looking at her in fear. She was puzzled, but then her mind seemed to catch up with her. "Of course," she muttered. "You must think I'm possessed."  
  
She got up and retrieved Kouga's shards. Heading back to the hut, she sighed. Everyone was still frozen in position. "If you want an explanation," she called, "then come inside. I need to sit for a while."  
  
Once inside, she wearily dug through her bag for the bottle with the shards. Dropping the two newest inside, she carefully braced herself against the wall. She really shouldn't have been able to hold the bow that long, and her ribs her paying for that now.   
  
Slowly, everyone filed into the hut. There was a strained silence that no one seemed able to break. Finally Kaede saw the pain in Kagome's face and moved over to her medicines. "You were hurt, child," she said. "Let me tend to you."  
  
Miroku caught on to the need for a break in the tension of the group. "Kagome-sama," he intoned, "allow me to assist you in the removal of you clothes so that Kaede-basan may see to your injuries!"  
  
His efforts were successful, if a bit painful for him. Inuyasha's growl and Sango's slap broke the tension well enough.  
  
Kagome managed a smile for him. "Thank you for the offer, Miroku-sama," she said, "but there is no need. My ribs are bruised, not broken, so there is nothing you can really do for them."  
  
"How can you be sure, wench?" Inuyasha said. He was turned away from her, but his ears were trained on her, so she knew he was really concerned.  
  
"I know," she answered, "because I've suffered this exact same injury at least twice before."  
  
That statement only earned her more perplexed looks. She sighed. Time to start from the beginning...again.  
  
"I'm from the future," she began. "Three months in the future, to be exact..."  
  
***  
  
It took a while, especially sinse Kagome was unwilling to tell more of the future than she absolutely had to, but they were finally convinced that she was from when she said she was. Well, almost all of them at least. Inuyasha flatly refused to believe, so she had told him about Sesshomaru. He was suspending his belief until then. He went off into the woods to sulk, and after extracting a promise to discourage Kouga, should he reappear, the others picked up their activities from the previous time Kagome had been there. Kaede and Miroku looked highly uncomfortable as they prepared the lesson. It appeared as if they didn't know where to start.  
  
Kagome smiled. "If it helps," she said, "the last time you taught me we were about to start on barriers."  
  
"Ahh," murmured Miroku wisely. He exchanged a glance with Kaede. "Perhaps if you would allow us some time to come up with a suitable lesson?"  
  
Kagome nodded. "Let's have lunch," she said as her stomach grumbled. She reddened as she realized that she had once again forgotten breakfast.  
  
Lunch was a pretty quiet affair. Miroku and Kaede whispered in the corner, coming up with a lesson. Shippo played with Sango, having been threatened with severe punishment if he jumped on Kagome. The miko was left alone with her pain. She shifted uncomfortably, not knowing why this time seemed worse than the previous times. She had woken up this morning with no pain, so her body hadn't retained the injuries from the precious time she had visited this day. Maybe it was a completely mental thing. She certainly had her memories of Kouga hitting her before, and her mind was telling her that that was only one day ago. Perhaps her mind was creating a phantom pain from the precious injury and compounding it with the current injury. Perhaps she was thinking too much.  
  
"Kagome-chan?" Sango asked as Kagome winced and shifted once again. "Do you need any medicines for your pain?"  
  
Kagome sighed. "Not with the advanced lesson, Sango-chan," she said in reply. "The medicine dulls my senses. The one time this I actually tried learning while on pain meds, I nearly singed Shippo-chan's tail."  
  
Shippo squeaked and hid behind Sango, causing Miroku to chuckle. Once the laughter subsided, Miroku began the lesson.  
  
"There are many different types of barriers, but they all fall into two distinct types. They are designed either to keep jyaki or youki out, or to keep it in. You can create a barrier out of the air, but, unless you are very powerful, it is generally more powerful if it has a physical manifestation: an ofuda put across the door, for example."  
  
"Can barriers be used to keep miko power out?" Kagome asked idly.  
  
"Well," Miroku seemed to consider. "Yes, I suppose if a youkai wished to keep a miko out-"  
  
"That's not what I meant," she said more earnestly. "Can miko power be used to keep miko power out?"  
  
Miroku took a long time in answering. "On a limited basis," he said finally. "If only one person were to anchor the spell, it would need something physical to bind to, and would only be able to protect a single person, or maybe two. A miko's power is not designed to protect against itself."  
  
Kagome nodded and filed the information away for later use. Kaede picked up the thread of the interrupted lesson, and they were only interrupted when Sesshomaru showed up. Kagome refused to go outside, citing her bruised ribs and knowledge of the outcome as the reasons for her unconcern. Truthfully, she was not sure she could stand to sit idly by while Rin got kidnapped again. She had been able to do it once, but still managed to mess up the outcome. Even with her distance, however, she could still feel Naraku's youkai in the distance, and she itched to do something.  
  
She managed to remain still long enough for the youkai to do their work. After that there was little she could do to help the situation. Sango, Miroku, and Shippo came back inside to find Kaede beginning dinner, and Kagome staring into space. It took Shippo several minutes to catch her attention, and then everyone was surprised at what she said.  
  
"I'm sorry," she buried her face in her hands. "I'm such a horrible person."  
  
Before anyone could protest such an outrageous statement, Inuyasha walked in. "That bastard, Sesshomaru," he was muttering. "What did he think he was doing, stopping the fight like that? Just because that little toad of his happened to wander into the clearing-"  
  
"Shut up, Inuyasha," Kagome said, deadly calm. "You have no idea what you are talking about, so just shut up."  
  
"So, what's gonna happen? I believe you now." Inuyasha asked.  
  
"That poor little girl is going to be tortured for at least a month until I can get to her," Kagome responded, staring off into space again.  
  
"Little girl?" Sango asked.  
  
Kagome nodded absently. "Yeah. Rin, Sesshomaru's human ward."  
  
Inuyasha's laughter seemed to startle her out of her mood, for she clammed up and refused to tell any more, no matter how much Inuyasha pestered her. It was amazing that, throughout dinner and the early evening, Inuyasha only earned himself two ouswari's. At least she felt better. With the lesson done, she took some aspirin to relieve the pressure on her side. Finally Inuyasha's questions earned him a response. Kagome huffed and left the hut. She marched angrily halfway up the hill where the shrine was, before carefully sitting down and leaning back to look at the emerging stars.  
  
"Oi, Kagome!" Inuyasha's voice broke into the silence. Kagome watched warily as he sat beside her. He opened his mouth to speak again.  
  
"Inuyasha, please, just drop it," Kagome said. "I don't know what will happen to the me you see tomorrow, whether she'll remember any of this or not, but I know I'll wake up to a very unpleasant world. So, for now, I'd like to just enjoy the peace of this world."  
  
Inuyasha snorted at the idea that this world was peaceful, but allowed her choice. When Kikyo came, Kagome returned the favor by not interrupting. It hadn't harmed the future before, so she could allow Kikyo her moment with Inuyasha. Perhaps it was because of her earlier behavior, but Inuyasha did not stay with Kikyo long. In about half the time it had taken the first night, Inuyasha was back, and they walked back to the hut together.  
  
Kagome eyed her sleeping bag wearily. That first night she hadn't been able to sleep alone in it. Inuyasha caught onto her hesitation.  
  
"What's the matter?" He whispered, careful not to wake the others.  
  
"C-can I sleep with you?" Kagome blurted out fast after an initial hesitation. Realizing the way that sounded, she quickly tried to back out of it. "Only to sleep, that is. I-in the future, I sleep better with you, and I guess it's just a habit that's hard to break. You don't even have to stay with me the entire night. I mean, once I fall asleep you can put me back into the sleeping bag and-"  
  
"Shut up, girl," Inuyasha said roughly.   
  
He tugged her down and pillowed her against his chest. "I'm only doing this to shut you up, you know."  
  
"I know," Kagome agreed softly as she drifted off to sleep.  
  
***  
  
Kagome stared at the journal in shock. That's not what she wanted at all! At this point she was convinced that the gods hated her. She read it again just to be sure.  
  
"I never saw the youkai coming. Inuyasha did, though. He saved me, getting severely injured in the process. He was so injured that when my powers stole the youkai from him, I unintentionally killed him. No human could survive the injuries he sustained."   
  
Kagome threw the little book across the room. All her meddling and this is what happened. It would be better if that stupid battle had never taken place.  
  
She froze. If the battle had never taken place? She had been trying to fix the battle, but what if she could prevent it from happening? Was it even possible? Her scattered thoughts coalesced into a single, horrible thought.  
  
Kikyo.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A/N: dun dun DUN! And there you have it folks, her first active attempt to change the past. Don't worry, she'll succeed one of these days. On a side note, Miroku is so fun to write!!! I really enjoyed him for the short time he appeared in this chapter. He is just so outrageous that it makes it so easy to imagine stuff for him to do. I don't have the restrictions that are placed on other characters! Hee hee hee. I will stop rejoicing now.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Review Responses:  
  
Aamalie: You were just in the right place at exactly the right time! I posted and not an hour later I get a review! *HUGGLES! Sends candy* Write more of those wonderful poems soon, onegai!!  
  
Alden Hawke: I am glad you signed in. It makes it easier to find you and leave a review as well! (I haven't had time to do that this week, stupid college) I will get to it soon! Unfortunately, once a week is about all I can manage (see above, college) so this is as fast as you get. But at least it's not six months!! (See Fushigi Yuugi fic, Paint the Sky with Stars *Sweatdrop*)  
  
Dark Hanyou: Glad you liked it! Anything in particular? Or maybe something I can improve on? Something you want to see? (I make no guarantees on the last one, but I already took somebody else's suggestion, so...)  
  
Moonsilver: I'm glad that at least one of my readers isn't confused anymore! That part at the beginning is about all the down time Kagome's gonna get, at least until SPOILER happens, but then its gonna be SPOILER. Makes sense, ne?  
  
Noname: Like the handle! So you're one of those weird people who think weird is good. Cool! Me too! Most of my fics are just twists on a typical plotline that I see happening in fandoms, so they end up being a little weird.  
  
Aditu: Ahhh, my one fan on Mediaminer! (at least the only one who reviews, I seem to get a lot of hits...grrr) I am glad you didn't think Kikyo is out of character. A little later on, I may have to take a serious break because the entire chapter will be Kikyo's POV. ACK! *Blushes at all the compliments* Thanks again! I hope this chapter gave you something to chew on. My advice would be to pay attention to all the little bits of info you are receiving, because it's all gonna come together in a chapter or two.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Couldn't think of a parody this time either, so...  
  
WS 


	5. A Ghost of a Chance

Disclaimer: Hello, my name is Wingsong, and I am an anime addict. --SEE! Not Rumiko Takahashi! Wingsong!  
  
Warnings: Character death, maybe. Shippo being cute and fuzzy. Spoilers for Kikyo season 4 (I think).  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
For Such a Time as This  
  
Chapter 5: A Ghost of a Chance  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kikyo.  
  
Her mind immediately rejected the thought. She barely had been able to stomach what she had done to Kouga, and she knew she was saving his life. To deliberately plan the death of another went totally against everything she believed in.  
  
'You kill youkai every day,' a voice inside of her said.  
  
'They are usually tried to kill me or my friends,' she told it.  
  
'And Kikyo hasn't?' an image appeared in her brain. Inuyasha stood, trapped in Kikyo's embrace, oblivious to being sent to hell. The scene faded and another replaced it. Kikyo, pulling a knife on Inuyasha just seconds after he swore to protect her and defeat her enemies.  
  
'No,' she shook her head violently to dispel the image.  
  
'Can you deny the truth of memory?' her other self spoke acidly.  
  
'Her actions are no cause for my misdeeds!' She protested weakly as she slouched on her desk.  
  
'What are you planning to do to Naraku, then? Ask him politely to stop bothering you and your friends?'  
  
'There is a great difference between her and him. I have never felt a soul more twisted with evil than Naraku's. Kikyo hates, yes, and she is willing to do evil things to achieve her ends, but she is not inherently evil.'  
  
'Then what is the difference between you and her? Your goal is even purer than hers. She wishes revenge; you wish to save. Why can't you use evil means to achieve your goals as well?'  
  
'That's just it,' she thought, frustrated. 'There is no difference between us, really. Her soul is mine.'  
  
'Then the question is this,' he other self concluded. 'Are you willing to kill yourself to save them?'  
  
Kagome sat up at that thought. It made some sense. As Kikyo's reincarnate they shared the same soul. One soul, two bodies. One cursed to a half-life, not really living, not truly dead, forced to feed off the souls of dead maidens. Her soul so twisted with hate that she could never be truly happy. If Kagome did follow through on her idea, Kikyo could be at peace. Her soul would be whole again, and the maidens could finally be put to rest. She could do it. To save them, and to heal her own soul, she could kill Kikyo.  
  
Another image popped into her head. Inuyasha, desperately calling Kikyo's name as she fell from the cliff when she was first brought back. After that image came others. The soft look that came into his eyes as they spoke about the past. The confused, unsure look when they spoke of Kikyo in the present. And the desperate, hunted look that swam to the front when they spoke of the future. The final image, and the one that lasted the longest, was of a black-haired form that almost refused to eat, sitting at the grave of a girl who died fifty years previous, but was laid to rest just the week before.  
  
Her heart ached and tears ran unheeded down her face. She couldn't do it. She couldn't knowingly put Inuyasha through that pain, not even to save everyone. There had to be another way. Any other way.  
  
Her mother stuck her head into the room, saying, "Kagome? You did say you wanted to leave in the morning, and...What's wrong, dear?"  
  
"Nothing," Kagome sniffled. She attempted a smile. "Nothing that wasn't also wrong yesterday."  
  
Her mother smiled gently and gave her a brief hug. "Your friends will be worried if you don't go back now, but tell them to take it easy for a while. I don't want you getting sick on top of everything else."  
  
"Yes, Mama," Kagome said.  
  
She gathered her bag from the kitchen and headed out to the well. She tried not to think about any of her options, not wanting her other self to come up with more reasons to go through with her awful idea. Once she was back in the past she was sure some other idea would occur to her. There had to be some detail she was over looking. There had to be.  
  
"Is anybody there to help me out?" She attempted cheer.  
  
"Hey," Sango called down. "Inuyasha's still sulking, and Miroku's gone to 'help' some of the village women, so I decided to help you up."  
  
"Thanks, Sango," Kagome said.  
  
They started off to the village in relative silence. Kagome eyed Sango speculatively, wondering if she would convince the warrior not to be at the battle. She dismissed the thought almost immediately. Sango had far too much Earth in her. It would be like trying to move a mountain with a toothpick. She thought of her other companions and came to the same conclusion. Miroku was Water, calm and placid most of the time, but an unmovable force when riled. If the kanaaza didn't get him riled, then she was in love with Hojo. Inuyasha was Fire. She could douse the flame today, maybe. It could possibly last until next week, but whatever she did today short of pinning him to a tree would not last the three months till the battle.  
  
She wouldn't chase any of them away even if she decided she could, she thought as she shook off the effect of Naraku's vision. It came down to pure self interest. They might live, but she would be dead several times over within the next three months. Miroku's life, Sango's brother, Inuyasha's love, all were tied up in the death of Naraku, and she would not break those bonds. To do so would be to break their spirits.  
  
Those thoughts led her to wonder why and how she had been able to so easily remove Sesshomaru and Kouga from the equation. Sesshomaru she could easily explain. The opposite to his brother's Fire, Sesshomaru's Ice was given no chance to melt without Rin's kidnapping. Ice froze in place, unshakable in his beliefs. But Kouga? Kouga was Air, and Wind, mercurial in his mood shifts and just as ungovernable. Could her work of the previous day really have made that much of an impression that it chased him away for three months? Or perhaps Miroku and Sango had formed so great a wall that Kouga could not blow through it? That had to be the answer, because her actions could not have been enough yesterday.  
  
Her musings were interrupted by Shippo, who came to politely request her assistance in his relations with Inuyasha. A scolding and an ouswari later, they finally made it back to the hut. Dropping off her bag, she sat right outside and watched Shippo play. Perhaps she could remove Shippo from the scene. But none of the villagers would take him, nor would he stay with them, so near to herself. No. It would have to be a fox pair that would be willing to take him.  
  
'For that to work,' she mused, 'I would have to call them to me. I hope there are some in range.'  
  
But she did not know fox youki, and could not recognize it easily without her powers. "Shippo-chan?" she called. "Can you help me with my lesson?"  
  
Shippo came over and she went to get him a treat to keep him satisfied. Settling him in her lap, she gently bound her aura up in his youki. He felt as if he was surrounded by pure Kagome, warm and loving. Once she had studied him, trying to decipher which part of the kit was fox and which was uniquely Shippo, she sent their combined auras out into the forest and past the village. This was much like searching for Shikon shards, though on a grander scale. On the furthest reaches of her range, to the south west, her senses tingled with the echo of the Shippo in her aura. Concentrating in that direction, she was able to push a little further, and made contact.   
  
She received a questioning note from the pair. Unable to carry words across such distances, she sent her emotional image of Shippo, his joy, his grief, and most of all his need for family and protection. She felt the acknowledgement they sent back and slowly brought herself out of the meditation. She detached herself from Shippo only to find him asleep in her arms.  
  
She nudged him awake. "Kagome!" he exclaimed excitedly. "That was wonderful! Can we do that again?"  
  
"What were you doing?"  
  
Kagome glanced up to find Kouga, and Inuyasha looking at her very strangely. "I, uh," she said.  
  
"She surrounded me, and we went searching for something," Shippo broke in. "I'm not sure if we found what we were looking for, though."  
  
"It was an experiment," Kagome said quickly before Shippo could reveal any more. "I was attempting to search for a youkai I was unfamiliar with. I hoped that by combining with Shippo, I would be able to recognize a fox demon in the area."  
  
"Did it work?" Miroku asked. He and Sango had joined the conversation at the beginning of Kagome's explanation.  
  
"I'm not sure," Kagome admitted, a half-truth. "I didn't know if there were any foxes around." She stood up noticing that it was almost noon.  
  
The experiment had taken far longer that she thought. In a little while Sesshomaru would be showing up, and Kouga didn't seem inclined to fight Inuyasha. She would have to find some other way to get rid of him.  
  
"Kouga-kun," she said, "are Ghinta-kun and the others nearby?" At his nod she smiled. While she thought of some way to get rid of him, she might as well try out her theory when she knew there were wolves nearby. She wasn't sure if what she felt was truly fox. "Good. Then if you'll allow me, I will search for them using the same method-"  
  
"It wouldn't work like that, Kagome-sama," Miroku said. "You already know Kouga's wolves. You would need to have someone that you were unfamiliar with for you experiment to work. Even immature powers can recognize someone you have already met."  
  
Kagome was disappointed, but when she turned to Kouga, he was backing up slowly. At her inquiring glance, he said, "I just came by to check up on you, and since it seems you are doing fine, I'll just...go. Yeah. I need to find Kagura."  
  
A charitable person might call what he did next rejoining his pack. The uncharitable would label it turning tail and running. Kagome turned a questioning glance on Inuyasha for an explanation.   
  
The hanyou saw her and snorted. "For once," he said gruffly. "I understand his running. You couldn't see yourself. It was kinda like the time Shippo's father's foxfire protected you from the Thunder Brothers. You were both glowing blue, but instead of coming from a recognizable youkai, it was coming from inside you. Both of your eyes were staring blankly ahead and were shining blue. It was scary." He began to laugh. "And then you offered to do the same thing to that wimpy wolf! No wonder he turned and ran!"  
  
Kagome huffed. "You're saying he ran because I looked horrible?" she asked as she crossed her arms over his chest.  
  
"I, um," Inuyasha stalled intelligently as he tried to avoid an ouswari. Miroku and Sango began to chuckle.  
  
Kagome soon joined them. "It's alright, Inuyasha," she said. "Let's go have lunch."  
  
Her only reply was another snort.  
  
***  
  
Kagome was getting really sick of having her lunch interrupted only to ignore something that she knew she could prevent. This time she had managed to convince Inuyasha to try the experiment, and was able to recognize Sesshomaru, so she was fairly certain that the pair she had summoned were fox youkai. When Sesshomaru came she managed to go outside with the others and restrained herself from going after Rin. She even managed to remain silent in the aftermath of Jaken's appearance. However, she discovered that she had a lot of pent up aggression afterwards. After snapping at Inuyasha twice, and Shippo once, she grabbed her arrows and stormed off, claiming target practice.   
  
She mostly improvised with her targets. At home, the shrine had a formalized target range, not that it was ever used. She was usually stuck inside studying whenever she was at home. After she had blasted the first tree she shot at, she took a deep breath and concentrated on controlling her miko powers when she shot.  
  
Choose a target. Set the arrow in the string. Align it on the bow with her fingers. Draw back. Sight down the arrow. Release. Set the next arrow. Repeat. There was a rhythm to the practice that calmed her nerves. She was still missing one arrow in three, but that was much better than before.  
  
'It would be even better if you imagined those targets as someone,' the voice from that morning suggested. 'Say...Naraku, or....Kikyo?'  
  
She stumbled, and her shot went wild. She gripped her bow tightly. 'I won't do that,' she told that part of herself firmly. 'There is no reason for me to practice shooting her. I will save Shippo by putting him with the fox family. I will not kill her.'  
  
'And are you so sure that they will take him, or that he will go? They won't be here till this evening. What will you change if that doesn't work?'  
  
'Shut up,' she cried. 'I am not going to listen to your reasoning anymore.'  
  
'Just remember, you have that option if the foxes won't take Shippo. If it doesn't work, you can always fix it tomorrow,' and with that, the voice faded from her mind.  
  
Kagome stalked over to her target tree and began pulling the arrows out. Yank. Killing Kikyo was stupid. Yank. Whatever the voice said to the contrary was just wrong. Yank. It was trying to make her do evil. Yank. The whole idea would not work. Yank. The voice was insane to think it would work. Yank. She collapsed against the tree when all the arrows were out. She finally admitted the truth to herself. Killing Kikyo was probably the best idea she had had in a long time. Kikyo was the reason they knew where Naraku was. The battle happened at that time because of Kikyo's information. Prior to that, she did not affect the quest except for occasionally showing up to 'talk' to Inuyasha. If she was going to get rid of someone in order to save everyone else, Kikyo would be it.  
  
That was hard to admit. Defeated, she quietly put away her arrows and headed back to the village. She still had hope. The fox family was due within the next hour, and she could save Shippo at least. Without being asked, she began to help Kaede with the preparations for dinner. Miroku came in as she was slicing some vegetables.  
  
She paused. "Miroku-sama," she asked. "Could I talk to you for a second? I'm done here."  
  
Miroku nodded, curious. They walked along the field in the village. Miroku let her have her space, for which she was grateful. Having asked him to talk, she now didn't know how to begin. Finally she stopped and sat on a bridge. Miroku settled down next to her.  
  
"You are a monk," she began, staring firmly into the water running below her feet.   
  
"Most of the time," he agreed when she showed no signs of continuing.  
  
"How do you justify all the killing that you do?" she finally blurted out.  
  
Miroku thought for a long time. "Most of the things we kill," he finally said, "are youkai, and minor ones at that. Minor youkai are little better than animals, except that they feed on hate and fear. They are evil, and as a monk I have no problem getting rid of evil things. In Naraku's case, it is a matter of survival. As for any other that we come across, I generally try to avoid killing humans whenever possible."  
  
"But what about when you are not sure whether something is evil. Not a youkai, but not a human either," she stopped there, unwilling at this point to hint closer to Kikyo.  
  
"A ghost?" Miroku mused. "When ghosts are haunting people it is generally because the soul is not at peace. My ofudas seal the spirit until we can figure out what is wrong and can set the soul at rest."  
  
Kagome finally decided to lay the entire case out before him, hopefully in vague enough terms so that Miroku would not know specifically who she was talking about. "What if you knew something bad was going to happen, something that would hurt a lot of people, and only you could prevent it. But in order to prevent it, you had to kill someone else. They are not evil, nor is what they did evil, but that act started off the events that led to disaster. Would you kill this person?"  
  
"Are you sure that killing this person would prevent those events?" Miroku asked quietly.  
  
"As certain as I can be," she said. "But killing them would make others sad."  
  
"You must think very hard," Miroku said, "and decide if the evil that would come from murdering Kikyo is truly less than any possible future evil."  
  
"How-" Kagome asked.  
  
"Kagome-sama," Miroku chided. "Who else would you be agonizing over? Other than the Shikon no Tama and Inuyasha, she is the central problem you worry about."  
  
"How can I deliberately kill her?" she cried. "Her soul is mine!"  
  
"But her soul is not at peace," Miroku concluded. "Neither is yours. Nor will they be until they are united again. I'm not even really sure that your powers can mature without a whole soul."  
  
"Can we temporarily combine the souls to make my powers mature, then separate again?" Kagome asked, suddenly wondering if she could save Kikyo after all.  
  
"Possibly," Miroku said after a long time. "It would be easier if it was Kikyo whose powers needed maturing. There is just more space in Kikyo's body for such a transfer to take place."  
  
Kagome opened her mouth to speak again, but was interrupted by a tingling along her senses. "Thank you," she said as she stood. "You've given me a lot to think about, but currently we have some guests arriving."  
  
"What?" Miroku glanced up and seemed to notice the rolling clouds shot through with green lightning.  
  
He began to run back to the hut, but Kagome did not follow. He turned back to hurry her on, but she paid him no mind, staring up into the clouds. The clouds reached a peak and shot a tendril down directly in front of Kagome. Miroku let out a wordless yell and ran forward, which is why he was close enough to hear what followed.  
  
The cloud resolved itself into a youkai pair, man and woman. They were dressed much like Kouga and his pack, but far more colorfully. The animal skins that made up their clothing had been dyed rich colors, ranging from red to yellow to blue to purple. The woman had long red hair that fell straight down her back, braided in places and strung through with beads. The man had shorter hair, and was the first to speak.  
  
"You were not afraid," he asked, more of a statement than a question.  
  
Kagome shook her head. "Shippo tried the same thing when we first met," she explained, "though I have to admit that yours was much more impressive."  
  
The pair smiled and removed the leaves from on top of their heads. Kagome motioned for them to follow as she started to lead them back to the hut. When she reached Miroku's side she murmured, "Don't even think about trying your usual tricks with her. They are a mated pair, and I don't think he would appreciate it."  
  
Miroku gulped and followed meekly behind her. About two thirds of the way to the hut, Shippo came barreling out. "Kagomeeeeeee!" he screamed. "Did you see it? Wasn't it scary? Are you okay?"  
  
Kagome laughed as she caught the child, but her laugh was wistful, somehow. Turning to the youkai pair, she presented the kit. "This is Shippo. He is the one I told you about."  
  
The fox youkai exchanged a glance. "How long have you had the kit?" the female asked.  
  
"Two or three months," Kagome replied.  
  
"You should have contacted us immediately," said the male. "It has been to long. We will not take the kit away now."  
  
"Kagome?" Shippo questioned.  
  
"What the hell are you doing, Kagome?" asked Inuyasha.  
  
"But we go into dangerous situations all the time!" Kagome told the foxes, desperate. "He will die!"  
  
"Are you doubting my ability to protect the brat?" Inuyasha demanded.  
  
"No," Kagome defended.  
  
"You can't get rid of him," Inuyasha declared.  
  
"Why not?" asked Kagome.  
  
"Because I," he paused, "you'll be sad!"  
  
"We could not take him," the female fox shouted over the quickly growing argument. "Besides the fact that it is against the wishes of the pack leader, it has been too long. Bonds have formed that will break the kit if we try to break them. He would lose his parents all over again."  
  
"Pack leader?" Inuyasha asked, dumbfounded.  
  
"We foxes may not travel in pack," said the male, "but we respect the pack hierarchy. You are clearly the leader. I would suggest some discipline for the female for trying to go against your wishes."  
  
"I'm sorry we cannot help you," the female said. "Perhaps if you know the danger you can somehow prevent it."   
  
Kagome merely hugged Shippo tighter as the pair left. Once they were out of sight, Inuyasha rounded on her, saying, "What were you thinking, woman? I can protect the little bastard!"  
  
"Can you protect him from me?" Kagome asked as she walked back to the hut.  
  
No amount of persuasion could get Kagome to explain her statement, though they tried all throughout dinner. She appeared to be in a completely separate world. Her eyes darted between her arrows, Inuyasha, and Miroku, who looked on her with knowing eyes, as if he knew what she was thinking. She moved slowly, mechanically, eating what was put in front of her but not tasting it. When dinner was over, she helped Kaede with the dishes, then stood next to the window as if waiting for something. Suddenly, she stiffened.  
  
"Inuyasha," she said woodenly. "Kikyo's waiting for you."  
  
He gave her an odd look, but obediently looked out and followed the silent summons. Kagome waited until he was lost in the tree, then gathered up her bow and arrows.   
  
Turning to Miroku and Sango, she said, "I have no idea what will happen." She was sure her face reflected the dead void within her. "Follow me. Soon."  
  
With that she left the hut. Kagome was numb. This was a worse feeling than when she first came back here and wasn't certain if it was a dream or not. She couldn't think about what she was going to do, or she would go insane.  
  
It was the only thing she could think about.  
  
All too soon she was at the clearing, and Kikyo was reaching out to touch Inuyasha's face.  
  
"Kikyo!" she cried out. "Stop!"  
  
Kikyo stiffened when she saw the arrow aimed at her heart. Drawing back, she loaded her own arrow and pointed likewise. Inuyasha, predictably, stepped in between them.  
  
"You dare defy me, girl?" Kikyo said coldly, not relaxing her stance.  
  
Kagome closed her eyes briefly and made her final decision. Apologizing silently to Inuyasha, she whispered a soft ouswari. As soon as the hanyou was out of the way, she fired, calling up to the heavens a silent prayer for Kikyo's soul.  
  
Kikyo knew as soon as she saw the hanyou drop what was going to happen. She fired a split second later. Both arrows flew truly. Kagome's went through Kikyo, and she dissolved in a burst, crumbling to dust. Kikyo's hit Kagome just to the left of the heart, piercing a lung. She flew back into a tree and collapsed on the ground.  
  
It hurt. Her lungs screamed with every gasp of air that she took. She coughed up blood, and began to panic when she saw the red droplets on her hand. Frantically she looked for Inuyasha, but he was crouched over Kikyo's ashes.  
  
"Inuyasha," she called out weakly. She could barely hear her own voice. "The well." There, that was better. "You have to take me to the well."  
  
He turned, and the pain in his eyes made her want to cry, but she had no energy for it. His eyes widened, and he ran over to her, gently supporting her back as he laid her carefully on the ground. He swam and faded in her vision, and she blinked, trying to clear it. Her sight remained black.   
  
"I'm sorry, Inu...yasha," she whispered.  
  
The last thing she heard was the clank of the rings on a monk's staff.  
  
"The....well...."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A/N: Goodness gracious that was hard to write. I had no idea going into this that repeating the same day three times was going to be so difficult! Other than that, I am evil, aren't I? *Runs to hide* Please remember before you start poking me with sharp pointy things that I am a firm (almost) Inu/Kag fan. Its just....gonna take a bit.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Review responces:  
  
FF.net  
  
Aamalie: Home again? Were you somewhere else? Yes I stuck Kikyo with pins, but there always has to be a retaliation....  
  
Moonsilver: I confused you again? *Sigh* I thought we had it all cleared up! It will be a bunch of things, or at least she'll think so. But it will really be only one small thing....grr, now I'm confusing myself.  
  
Sammyosa92: It is hard for me to write, sometimes, but reviews help a lot! *Hint hint* I hoped you liked what fluff I could inject. I'll warn you that that's gonna be the last fluff for a while. It gets pretty angsty from here on in.  
  
Alden Hawke: I think the sad fact is that, in fanfiction, there are stereo types, and minor characters or difficult characters get forced into one dimensional roles. Once that happens, the characters are no longer fun to write, and they get ignored. Other than that, I am a fan of a good alternate pairing, though I don't consider myself good enough to write those. I would recommend Thunk as an author. She still has Kag/Inu, but her other pairings are...interesting...to say the least.  
  
sarah h: Nope, this story isn't AU. Though I might write one in the future. Those are fun merely because they are your favorite characters in totally new situations. But only if they are done right. I am glad you like this story!  
  
Mediaminer.org  
  
Mikey B23: I am glad you like the fic. If you like Trigun (which you said when we talked on aim) might I recommend Cowboy Bebop and Rurouni Kenshin? Both are very good series.  
  
Aditu: Author salutes loyal fan! I am actually winding up to a conclusion, so the fic will start moving faster soon. (though with Kagome dead, I might have written myself into a corner...) I will persevere! That is, if my loyal fans don't kill me.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
For Such an Akugi:  
  
Could her work of the previous day really have made that much of an impression that it chased him away for three months? Or perhaps Miroku and Sango had formed so great a wall that Kouga could not blow through it?   
  
No matter how much he huffed and puffed.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Till later,  
  
WS 


	6. The Best Laid Plans

Disclaimer: *rubs hands together, cackling madly* Soon... soon I will own Inuyasha! But... not yet.  
  
Warnings: Death, destruction and mayhem. Kouga, Sesshomaru, Inuyasha, and Kagura locked in a tiny clearing. Definite character death *coughNarakucough*. Wingsong's attempt at angst. (Gah! RUN!)  
  
Translations:  
  
Sayonara: Farewell, in an "I am not going to see you for a really long time so best wishes" manner  
  
Yosh! : exclamation usually used to clear the mind before starting on some new project.  
  
Aneue: older version of older sister, usually translated as "most honorable older sister"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
For Such a Time as This  
  
Chapter 6: The Best Laid Plans  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"The best laid plans/Of mice and men/Do often go awry..." -Robert Burns  
  
***  
  
It was dark, and silent.  
  
She knew that, just as she knew that this wasn't the dark of her closed eyes, or the silence of a peaceful evening. This was the calm before the storm, the moment right before a youkai attack.  
  
Knowing this, she tensed, readying her defenses, meager as they were. Somehow, just as she knew that this place wasn't natural, she knew that here, there would be no one to save her. Whatever was coming would probably kill her, and she had no one to rely on but herself.  
  
Far off in the distance voices could be heard. She knew them by the timber of the sound, by the music each sentence made, but she could not distinguish what they were saying. Miroku was there, as was Kaede and her mother. She could even distinguish her own voice amongst the multitude, and that was when she realized that the voices were getting closer.  
  
Suddenly she could see them, and they were hurtling towards her. She screamed and braced herself for the impact, but it never came. Opening her eyes, she saw that they had stopped about three feet from her, completely surrounding her. At no visible signal, they began to speak. One voice would barely finish before another would begin, tripping over the other's words.  
  
"The most important thing..." Kikyo.  
  
"Direction..." Kouga.  
  
"And focus." Sesshomaru.  
  
"Without these things..." Inuyasha.  
  
"You could hurt Shippo, or Inuyasha." Shippo.  
  
Kikyo snapped a finger, and a globe of pink light appeared. Shippo and Kouga appeared in a burst of sparks. Sesshomaru and Inuyasha lasted a little longer, enough for them to scream in silence. She reached out a hand, as if to protect them, screaming when they could not.  
  
"There are many different types of barriers..." Mama.  
  
"Miko's protection not meant to go against miko's power." Rin.  
  
"Works on a limited basis, if the spell were attached to a physical object..." Sango.  
  
"It would be easier if it were Kikyo... more space for powers to mature." Kaede.  
  
Kikyo raised her hand angrily. With a snap they, too, were gone. All that remained were Miroku, Kikyo, and an image of herself. She buried her face in her hands.  
  
"You have many variables to work with..." Miroku. Kikyo snapped, and he exploded.  
  
"Then the question is..." Her own image was speaking, but she soon fell to Kikyo.  
  
"Are you willing..." She looked up to find Kikyo speaking directly to her. "...to kill yourself..." The miko raised her hand, her fingers posed to snap. "...to save them?"  
  
Kikyo looked over her shoulder, and she looked back to find everyone behind her. Turning back around, she suddenly realized that that last snap was not meant for her. She launched herself at the other woman, desperately trying to stop her.  
  
And Kikyo snapped.  
  
Kagome bolted awake, gasping, her blood pounding in her ears. She had never had such a dream before. Well, not since she had gotten caught in the time loop at least. The dream hadn't been scary, exactly, more creepy, but the images refused to leave. Whenever she closed her eyes she saw them exploding, one by one.  
  
Wearily, she looked on her desk for the journal, wondering if her awful idea from the precious day had had any effect. Her journal wasn't on her desk. Frowning, she searched for it, finally finding it where she had first seen it, mixed amongst her textbooks. Steeling herself, she opened the book.  
  
It was empty. No pages on Shippo, or on Kouga, Kirara, Sesshomaru, Kohaku, nor Inuyasha. She released her held breath. She started to smile, then grin, then chuckle, then laugh. She hugged the journal to herself and spun around the room. She had done it! They were all alive!  
  
She burst out of her room and started to run to the kitchen, eager to share her news with her mom. About halfway down the stairs she heard a crash. If it were possible that she could go any faster, she would have. As it was, she arrived at the kitchen to find her mother staring in shock at her backpack. The crash had come from a falling plate. Apparently her mother had spotted her bag, which was tucked away in a corner, and had stopped, not noticing when the plate crashed at her feet.  
  
"Mama?" Kagome asked. "Are you okay?"  
  
Her mother stiffened and turned around slowly. Once she spotted Kagome, in an instant she was across the kitchen and squeezing the living daylights out of her. This was a hug like she hadn't gotten since she was very small, when her father had died.  
  
"What's wrong?" She asked breathlessly when the hug let up some.  
  
Her mother broke the embrace to stare directly into her daughter's face. "Three months," she said, shaking Kagome for emphasis. "Three months with no word, not an idea if you were dead or alive. Don't do that again. Don't ever do that again." She reached out and enveloped her in a hug again.  
  
Kagome was in shock. She hadn't been back in three months? But yesterday she was sure that Miroku had gotten her to the well. Otherwise she would have died. But she was alive now, so she must have gone to the well. Then why would she stay away for three months? Something was wrong.  
  
"Mama," she said apologetically, "I can't stay for long. I'm sorry I was not here for three months without word. We," she paused, an idea coming to mind. "We heard rumors of a shard, and it took us longer than usual to check it out. I am just stopping here for supplies. I came in late last night and did not want to disturb you."  
  
"Can you stay long enough for breakfast?" her mother asked.  
  
Kagome's stomach grumbled, and mother and daughter grinned. They had a long talk over breakfast that strained Kagome's imagination. Her mother wanted to know everything about the previous three months; everything that Kagome didn't know. Several times she caught herself in a loop, but her mother never seemed to notice. She began to get a little restless as noon came closer and closer. She might not know what had happened during the previous three months, but those on the other side of the well would, and she needed answers. Finally, with one final bone-crushing hug, her mom sent her off to the well.  
  
When she arrived on the other side, Kagome tentatively called up, "Is anybody there to help me out?"  
  
Sango's head appeared in the opening, but Kagome didn't hear her words. It looked like she was not going to get her answers at all. She was still stuck in the time loop! It wasn't fair! She had saved everybody but was still stuck in the loop. Actually, she didn't really know if she had saved anybody. The journal had been in its original place when she woke up, and according to her mother she had not been back the previous day. She might have just not been able to write in the journal yet.   
  
What was she going to do now? She was completely out of ideas. Having concluded yesterday that she could not exclude any of the others from the battle three months from now, her creative juices were dried up. The only conclusion to make was that she could do nothing today to lessen the damage of a battle that would happen three months in the future. There were just too many variables involved, and too much time between her actions and the results.  
  
Thinking such thoughts, she was hardly prepared for Naraku's vision. The sounds, smells, and sights of the broken battle field came back to her full force. Most chilling of all, however, was the words at the end.  
  
"Give yourself and your shards up to me, girl, and I will spare them. If I can reach you here, who says that I cannot make these visions true?"  
  
She snapped out of the vision, abruptly struck with another idea. She could not positively affect the final battle simply because it was so far away from her current position in time. But what if she brought the battle to this time? Her powers were still not mature, so supposedly she could trigger the very same explosion now.  
  
"Kagome-chan?" Sango said, perplexed at her friend's sudden stop.  
  
Kagome blinked and looked at Sango. "Could you go get Miroku-sama?" she asked. "I have some questions for him."  
  
Sango nodded, still a little confused. After agreeing to meet back at the hut, the two girls went their separate ways. Kagome managed to get her bag into the hut before going out to deal with Inuyasha and Shippo. By that time Miroku had arrived with Sango.   
  
Kagome turned to him. "How far away," she asked, "can you be to send a vision to someone else?"  
  
"For just a vision?" Miroku said. "Not very far, unless you are extremely powerful and very familiar with your subject. Visions are one of the few spells that are unaffected by aids such as the Shikon no Tama."  
  
Kagome nodded. 'So in addition to everyone I want to save,' she thought. 'The one person I want to kill is near today as well.' Coming to a decision, she looked directly at Miroku and Kaede, who had come out of the hut.  
  
"Teach me about barriers."  
  
***  
  
Thus began a month of intensive training, at least on Kagome's part. Every day she had to convince Miroku and Kaede of her knowledge, but every day she learned a little more. Her barriers developed a little strangely, she thought at first. Having Naraku's purple and black barriers as her only basis for comparison, she was surprised when hers were streaked with orange. But Miroku explained that the barriers reflected the personalities of their creators, so it wasn't unusual to have some color variation. In that month she learned every type of barrier imaginable.  
  
The spell to protect against miko powers was harder. Any ofudas she tried either disintegrated upon contact with Shippo (her test dummy) or blew up when she touched it with her miko power. She finally started working with Kaede and rosaries, of which, thankfully, the miko had at least ten.  
  
Once she had perfected those spells, she went on to what was perhaps the most difficult aspect of the preparations for her master plan. She used the Shikon shards, bound up in her own aura, to locate the other Shikon shards. It took at least an additional month of stretching her powers to their absolute limit to locate any that weren't already in Naraku's hands. She knew about the ones with Kouga and Kohaku, as well as the one on the youkai tree, but she needed to find the others. The total she finally came up with was pathetic. She had the potential of five shards at her command. One at the demon tree, one that would eventually fall to Naraku, her two, and one extra. Five shards. She almost gave up then and there, but remembered that this battle did not care about shards, merely her maturing powers.  
  
That thought brought forth another. Miroku had said, back when she was trying to decide whether to kill Kikyo, that he wasn't sure her powers would mature without the other part of her soul. She would have to get Kikyo to cooperate with her for any of this to work. But what could she offer to Kikyo that would get her to agree?  
  
Suddenly, she knew exactly what she could offer, but she would need some more information first. Almost as soon as she was out of the well one day she asked Sango if she could borrow Kirara. Once the fire cat had transformed, she directed her to the Northeast, searching out a particular person. Enju, the potter for the witch Urusae, was the only one she knew of that could give her the answers she was looking for. Thankfully, they found her midway though the afternoon, and she and Kagome had a long discussion of the properties of the clay bodies of the undead. Satisfied with her answers, she directed Kirara back to the village, barely managing to stay awake for the entire ride back. She collapsed in the hut, exhausted, not even caring that tomorrow would be the big day.  
  
***  
  
When Kagome woke the next day she didn't even spare a glance at the journal. She hadn't for the two months she had been training, knowing that it would only depress her further. Instead, she pulled on her school uniform and headed down to get some breakfast.   
  
Ji-chan, Souta, and her mother watched, amazed, as Kagome not only had seconds, but thirds and fourths as well. When she held out her bowl for a fifth helping, her brother finally asked, "What's the matter, nechan? You don't have any tests, and you're practically caught up on your school work."  
  
"I need my energy. Today," she paused, and her eyes got a faraway look. "Today everything will change. The past and the future. I will need my strength."  
  
She quickly finished off her last bowl and headed to the kitchen to clean up her dishes. Once done, she returned to the breakfast room and gave each of her family members a long hug. When she got to her mom, she whispered, "Thank you, Mama, for all the times you've supported me since this whole mess started."  
  
"Kagome?" Her mother sounded a little worried. "You sound as if you are never coming back."  
  
Kagome stiffened ever so slightly. Pulling out of the embrace, she flashed her mother a brilliant smile. "Why would you say that, Mama? Of course I'm coming back."  
  
With that she grabbed her bag and headed to the well house. Once inside, she paused and took one last look at her home. "I'm sorry," she said. "It has to be this way. Sayonara."  
  
She jumped into the well. Only when she got to the other side did she allow a few tears to escape. Scolding herself furiously, she wiped away the tears. "Yosh!" she exclaimed, clapping her hands. "Let's get this day started."  
  
"Is anybody there to help me out?" she called.  
  
Sango's head appeared, and after the usual words were spoken, she helped her out of the well. If Sango was curious about her silence and concentration, she said nothing about it. Kagome was mentally preparing for the first step in her plan. She wouldn't have thought it possible, but over the past two months she had gotten used to Naraku's vision. She hadn't seen it yesterday, perhaps because she had been riding Kirara far away by then, and she hoped that the missed day would give her some perspective.  
  
It did. The vision had just as much affect as the first time. Her blood ran cold at the mere pieces of her friends that she could see. But it turned to ice at Naraku's words.  
  
When the words faded, she called out desperately in her mind, 'Wait! I'll... go. I'll give myself up to you. But you must promise not to hurt them!'  
  
"Of course, girl," said Naraku, his oily voice dripping down her nerves. "I give my word!"  
  
'Can...' she paused, for this was a crucial point. 'Can I make one request?'  
  
"What?" Naraku asked, amused.  
  
'Kohaku,' Kagome thought, letting her mental voice tremble. 'Let Sango see Kohaku, without his attacking her, when Kagura comes to g-get me.'  
  
"I think I can manage that," Naraku said with a chuckle.  
  
'Thank you,' Kagome hated the groveling note in her voice, but recognized the necessity for it. 'I will be at the Goshinboku when the sun sets.'  
  
"I will send the boy with Kagura at that time," her enemy said, practically crowing with triumph.  
  
Kagome opened her eyes to find herself shaking and Sango looking at her in concern. "It's nothing," she said. "Just the first successful step in a very complex plan."  
  
Sango would have to content herself with that, for Kagome would say no more. Instead, she practically ran to Kaede's hut and threw her bag down beside it. Digging through the bag, she came up with the jar of Shikon shards. Quickly, she knelt and formed a barrier around herself, questing for the first shard. It was the closest, the one inside the youkai tree. Reaching out carefully, she plucked the shard and called it to her. Having practiced for weeks, the shard came easily to her bidding. It even dissolved the barrier as it arrived in her hand.  
  
She blinked herself out of the meditation and looked for Kouga, hoping she hadn't been too late. She needn't have worried. Inuyasha and Kouga were still fighting. From their positions she could guess that Kouga had tried to disturb her, but Inuyasha had blocked him before he could. Stretching sore muscles, she calmly stepped into the middle of the fight.  
  
"Stop, Kouga, Inuyasha," she called. She hoped that the lack of honorifics would at least give them pause. When it did, she continued, "I don't have time for this now. Kouga-kun, could you come back at sunset? I'll be at the Goshinboku."  
  
This earned at quick agreement and a smirk of triumph from the wolf. Inuyasha started growling, but after Kouga had left, Kagome assured him that he would be there, too. That issue settled, she reached for the shards again. This time she gave Shippo firm instructions to disturb her if another fight occurred. The second shard was farther away, and she wanted to be certain not to miss Sesshomaru. However, she needn't have worried so much. Three shards worked far better than the two she had previously had, and she was able to extract the shard that would eventually go to Kikyo and reunite it with the others shortly. She even had time for a little lunch before Sesshomaru arrived.  
  
When he did show up, she started running immediately. Even so, she reached the clearing where Rin and Jaken waited just ahead of Naraku's youkai. It seemed that his 'promise' of no harm did not extend to the young human girl, not that she had expected it to.  
  
"Rin!" she gasped. "You are in danger here! We have to go to Sesshomaru-sama now!"  
  
"How do you know Rin's name?" the little girl asked.  
  
"Fluffy-sama told me," Kagome said, remembering what had persuaded Rin all those months ago.  
  
The child went to her just as the youkai burst into the clearing. This time on the way back she ran into Miroku and Sango. She barely paused in her flight, but heard them begin to guard her rear. Finally she made it back to Inuyasha and Sesshomaru and dove for the youkai lord. She allowed herself to catch her breath while the others dealt with the rest of the youkai.  
  
"Rin," Sesshomaru summoned when the battle was over. The little girl detached herself from Kagome and trotted over. Sesshomaru checked the girl visually for injuries, then turned to Kagome. "How?" he asked.  
  
Kagome extended her aura so that it just barely touched the lord's youki. "I just knew," she said. "I would discuss this with you further, Sesshomaru-sama. Can you come to the Goshinboku this evening at sunset?"  
  
Sesshomaru quirked an eyebrow at the honorific, but nodded in acceptance. Kagome bowed as he left to collect Jaken.  
  
Inuyasha turned to Kagome as soon as his brother was gone. "What's all this about sunset?"  
  
"The second stage in a plan to save everyone," Kagome replied.  
  
She settled down by the just to collect the last shard. This one was the hardest to find, and not even her extra two shards could help. She quested all afternoon, and just before dinner managed to call the shard to her. She sighed in exhaustion. Nothing could have prepared her for the amount of work she had done today. Her stomach reminded her that she had had very little food since early this morning, and she stood, stretched, and walked into the hut in search of food.  
  
The others were already eating when she got in, but she tossed the jar of shards at Inuyasha anyway. He caught it reflexively and looked at her questioningly.  
  
"It's part of what I've been doing all day," Kagome said, accepting a bowl from Kaede and the jar from Inuyasha. "Right there are all the Shikon shards that had yet to be collected. Two on Kouga, one on Kohaku, and Naraku has the rest."  
  
She ate her dinner, aware that the others were staring at her open mouthed. Once done, she excused herself and went to change into miko robes and prepare the rosaries. Carrying them and her school clothes under one arm, she stuck her head back into the hut. "The sun has almost set," she said. "Shall we go to the Goshinboku?"  
  
The others gathered their things and followed her. When they reached the clearing she leaned against the tree. Slowly she built a complex barrier and extended it through out the clearing.  
  
"This barrier protects against evil actions," she said. "Any action given with evil intent will be reflected on the giver." At their perplexed looks she sighed. "Miroku-sama," she said resignedly, "Grope me."  
  
Miroku's eyes widened, but he moved to comply. As his hand connected with her butt his eyes widened even further, and he spun around. Kagome burst out laughing. At the others questioning looks she explained, "He felt his own hand on his own butt!"  
  
Sango began to giggle merrily and even Kirara seemed to be chuckling at the monk's predicament. Kagome stiffened after a while, for the first of the visitors had arrived.  
  
Kouga.  
  
After giving the proper warnings, he was invited inside. He glanced around before turning to Kagome. "What did you want with me here?" he asked.  
  
"I need your shards," Kagome said. "I know that they won't be returned, but I can almost guarantee the destruction of Naraku if you give them up."  
  
Kouga thought for a while, then shrugged and agreed. As Kagome was removing the shards from Kouga's legs, Inuyasha burst out with, "What the hell? Why the fuck are you giving them up so easily? I was supposed to beat them out of you!"  
  
Kouga blinked coolly at the hanyou. "*You* aren't my woman," he replied blandly.  
  
Inuyasha was saved from a response by the arrival of his brother. The warnings given, he stepped into the clearing with Rin and Jaken. Rin spotted Kouga and hid behind Sesshomaru. Kagome was confused for a second, but then remembered something. Almost smacking herself on the head for her forgetfulness, she slowly approached Rin. Kneeling down, she said, "Hello Rin, do you remember me from this afternoon?"  
  
Rin nodded. "You are the one that saved Rin's life."  
  
"My name is Kagome," she extended a hand. "I would like you to meet someone."  
  
The child tentatively took her hand, and Kagome led her over to Kouga. "You remember him, too, don't you?" she asked when Rin hid in her robes.  
  
"Yes, Kagome-nesan," Rin said. "He told the bad wolves to go after Rin."  
  
There was a soft growling behind them, but a firm glance at the barrier reminded Sesshomaru of the results of any action on his part. Kagome gently brought the girl in front of her.   
  
"He's not a bad guy anymore, Rin. He's saved my life many times, and he doesn't hurt humans anymore. In fact, he is the reason you travel with Sesshomaru-sama now. He won't hurt you anymore, I promise." A glance up at Kouga had him nodding in agreement.  
  
"Really?" Rin asked.  
  
"I swear," Kagome replied.  
  
"Okay!" Rin exclaimed, and trotted back to Sesshomaru.  
  
Kagome stood, facing Sesshomaru, and to everyone's apparent surprise began growling at him. There was complete silence when she finished.  
  
The youkai lord was the first to recover from the shock. "How do you know those words?" he asked. "I never granted you a debt."  
  
There was a sharp intake of breath from Sango, but Kagome replied calmly, "Yes you did. I am from the future, a future where Rin truly was kidnapped today. I allowed myself to be tortured instead of her for the month we were confined together. When you discovered this, you took great pains to teach me the pronunciation, so I could redeem the debt from any dog demon. I redeem it now from you."  
  
"What do you require?" Sesshomaru said.  
  
"In a little bit," she said, "a boy will come to this clearing, one that is severely injured. He will die, and all I require is that you heal him."  
  
During the pause while Sesshomaru thought, Jaken protested. "It is absolutely absurd that Sesshomaru-sama should be in debt to a human. Lord, she is obviously making this up. We should go-"  
  
"Alright," Sesshomaru nodded. "The Tenseiga seems to want it, and the sword has never led this Sesshomaru wrong before." He was staring at Rin as he said this.  
  
Kagome released a breath that she didn't even realize she had been holding, only to catch it again as the soul stealers signaled the arrival of the third guest. Kikyo stood at the edge of the barrier, studying it.  
  
"You recognize the barrier?" Kagome asked. "You will not be harmed, but you will not harm either."  
  
Kikyo looked at her reincarnate for a long moment before slowly stepping past the barrier. She moved to the center of the clearing, saying in a challenging tone, "This is an interesting assortment of people you have here."  
  
Kagome met her at the center of the clearing. Placing a hand on the other other's chest, she began to call her soul back to herself. Kikyo's arm snapped up to the younger girl's chest, resisting the change. Both girls stiffened and closed their eyes.  
  
Kagome's eyes opened to find a very angry Inuyasha facing off with her. Behind him Kikyo had been thrown to the ground. She took a step back. She hadn't been this scared of Inuyasha since before the rosary was put on him. "Dammit, Kikyo!" he yelled. "What have you done to her? I swear, Kikyo, if you gave done anything..." he trailed off, speechless in his rage.  
  
'What?' she thought. 'Oh, he thinks I'm...' "Kikyo, Kikyo, Kikyo," Kagome said softly. "Listen, you, my name is Kagome, KA-GO-ME!"  
  
All of this was said in a near whisper, but it seemed to floor Inuyasha. He glanced at the miko behind him then at the creation of clay before him. "Kagome?" he whispered doubtfully.  
  
She nodded and went to help Kikyo to her feet. "Are you okay?" she asked the miko.  
  
"Yes," she said, "but why? Why do this?"  
  
"Three reasons," she said. "One, he loves you, and you two never got a chance. I am not of this time, and you belong here. I was never supposed to be here in the first place. Two, something that you said when we first talked. I had just told you of Naraku's deception, and you responded with, 'The dead only wish for life again.' Third, it was the only way for the plan to work, short of killing you."  
  
"Plan?" Kikyo asked, but apparently Kagome's memories were surfacing in Kikyo's mind, because she had no ears for any answer Kagome might give.  
  
Satisfied that she was reviewing the plan, Kagome went to her clothes. Casting a quick glance at Miroku, she brought up a barrier that was really nothing more than pretty lights, but allowed her the privacy to change. Once in her school uniform, she concentrated, hard, on the clay body she currently inhabited. If Enju was correct, then she should be able to... she felt the change, her hair shortened, her skin got a little tanner, and her whole body seemed to settle at age 15 again. It seemed that the clay bodies responded to the souls within them, not the original casting. Satisfied with her appearance, she let down the barrier and looked across at Kikyo.  
  
The miko shrugged. "It is a good plan," she said. "If Kagura will agree then it might even work. But, girl, have you thought, with that body-"  
  
"I know," Kagome interrupted.  
  
Kikyo shrugged again. "What have we got to lose?"  
  
"Shippo," Kagome responded. "Kouga, Kirara, Sesshomaru, Rin-"  
  
Kikyo cut her off with a hand jerk. Kagome started over to Kikyo, but halfway there she stumbled and fell. She glanced up to see the soul stealers circling above, ready with souls to fill her body. Shaking her head violently, she refused to let them in.  
  
"Come on, child," Kikyo said, suddenly there with her arms around her. "You just gave me a whole list of very good reasons to succeed, but you will fail if you can't move. Besides," she whispered, "they will not be used for long, you know that."  
  
Shuddering, Kagome nodded, and the soul stealers were let in. They left quickly after doing their work, leaving the girl on the ground, her frame racked with dry sobs. Slowly, Kagome sat up, but her eyes were dry. "I can't cry," she said. "This body won't allow me to." She turned to Kikyo, and raised a hand to the other's cheek. "You're crying for me."  
  
Kikyo blinked sharply, unashamed of the tears running down her face. "So, I am," she said, and paused in wonder. "It's been so long."  
  
The moment did not last long, for Kagura and Kohaku had finally come.   
  
"Kagome," Kouga practically spit her name out. "You didn't say she would be here." He made 'she' into an expletive. He prepared to fight.  
  
"Remember the barrier Kouga-kun," Kagome snapped. "You two can kill each other after I'm done with you."   
  
She turned back to Naraku's minions. The explanation of the barrier was given, and they, too, accepted the condition and entered. Kohaku immediately jumped off the feather and stood, more like a doll then a living boy. Sango choked her breath on a sob. Kagome waked over and plucked the shard from the boy's back, allowing him to die in her arms. She glanced at Sesshomaru, but the youkai already had his sword out and ready to strike. Kagome laid the boy on the ground, and Sesshomaru swiped the sword over his body. Almost immediately the boy's eyes opened.  
  
"Aneue?" he questioned. Sango came barreling in from the side, and many explanations and apologies were given before he cried himself to sleep.  
  
Kagome, meanwhile, had turned to Kagura and offered her her freedom. Kagura agreed to the plan, and Kagome went to gather to the rosaries from the base of the Goshinboku.  
  
"Here is the plan," she said as she passed rosaries to Jaken, Sesshomaru and Kouga. "Kagura will take me and the shards to Naraku, then hurry back here. I will complete the Shikon no Tama, then Kikyo and I will combine auras to make my powers mature, killing Naraku. Miroku will concentrate on a spell in these rosaries, protecting the youkai here from my miko power." She paused, thinking. "You might want to put Tetsusaiga and Tenseiga in the ground in Naraku's direction, as additional protection."  
  
She knelt in front of Shippo. "I want to go with you," the little fox said.  
  
"Shippo-chan, it is far too dangerous," she said. "But remember, I will always be with you, in your heart." She slipped some beads over his neck.  
  
She turned next to Inuyasha. "Don't," he said, pleading. "It's dangerous for you as well."  
  
"I watched all of you die the first time, Inuyasha," she said. "But in case this doesn't work," she pulled the rosary off of his neck, "and he some how manages to control me, I don't want to have any special power over you."  
  
She kissed his cheek, gave him one of the protection rosaries, and turned to Sango. "Thank you so much," Sango said.  
  
Kagome slipped a necklace over Kirara's head. "You watch over both of them for me," she told the cat. Turning to Sango, she said, "Remember that he does love you." She indicated Miroku with her head. "And when this is all over, hit him once for groping me."  
  
Finally, she turned to Miroku. "That body is clay," he started, but Kagome was already nodding.  
  
She gathered his right hand in her own. "If this doesn't work," she said, "the nearest date I can give you is three months from now. But I have no idea if that was the curse itself or Naraku's doing. In any case, my advice would be to love her while you can. It is infinitely preferable to the alternative, which is never to know love."  
  
Miroku nodded, and Kagome joined Kagura, who was waiting impatiently on her feather. Kagome released the barrier, and they started off towards Naraku. As they flew, Kagome handed the two remaining rosaries to Kagura. At her raised eyebrow, Kagome said, "For you and Kanna. I assumed that you wanted to save you sister."  
  
Kagura nodded. "How can you be sure that Naraku doesn't know?" she asked. "My sister could have been spying on us the entire time."  
  
"She was trying, but she couldn't make it through the barrier. He doesn't know. Be sure not to put the rosaries on until you get back to the clearing," she said. "It will be my signal to begin."  
  
They arrived at the castle, and Kagura led Kagome to Naraku's chambers. A glance from Naraku had her leaving.  
  
"Well?" said Naraku, leering at her in her uniform. "Where are they?"  
  
Kagome blinked, and then fished out the eight shards she had collected. Reaching out a hand, she called the rest to her and completed the jewel. She stared at the ball in her hand. After all of that work, months and months of preparation, it seemed a little anticlimactic to simply complete it like that. The first time had involved a large light show and a huge power struggle, but it seemed that Naraku was willing to let her keep it for a bit. After all, he thought that she was completely in his power, and she was not doing anything to purify the jewel yet.   
  
She wandered the room, waiting for her signal and trying to ignore Naraku as much as possible. She was nervous, but as she stared around the room she realized something. Despite what she told Kikyo earlier, she did need to be here. Naraku had given this vision to her, not Kikyo. She, Higarashi Kagome, was the only one who could do this, at this time, in this place. She seemed to have been brought back to the past on her 15th birthday solely for such a time as this.  
  
She located Kagura's and Kanna's hearts almost immediately, so when the signal came, she grabbed them close. As Myoga had saved himself in the final battle, she clutched the jars with the hearts as close as she could to herself, protecting them from danger. The power surged around her, purifying the Shikon no Tama and her own body. After all, the undead were impure.  
  
And she exploded in a blast of pink light.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The End  
  
A/N: Ok, so the dream sequence at the beginning took five major revisions, but the rest went pretty smoothly. I think. My attempts at angst may fall woefully short, but oh well. Some of the jokes just popped in with out my approval, so blame me writing at 2 in the morning if you don't like some of them.  
  
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Review responces  
  
FF.net  
  
Sammyosa92: glad you liked it last time. So here's my attempt at angst. I seem to be much better at fluff.  
  
Sarah H : Glad you liked it!   
  
Ghoul King: Is that strange in a good way? In any case, here is another chapter for you to puzzle over.  
  
Kaagome: favs lists are wonderful things. Especially when I go to my author page and see more people have listed me there. YAY! Thanks.  
  
nekomoongirl: ummmm....sorry? But it was supposed to make you cry! She died!  
  
Aamalie: That was the last "day" in this fic. So what happens from now on.....is really interesting.  
  
Dark Hanyou: You sneaked in just in time for this chapter! I seriously was going to talk with my beta reader when your review appeared in my mail box! I update once a week though, so don't be expecting the next chapter till next weekend!  
  
Media Miner  
  
Black Rose Lady: Well...I kinda ripped out a couple of plotlines and reversed them, so its not really original, I think. And you can thank my beta reader, Lori, for the grammar stuff. (I am merely a typo nazi, I know nothing about grammer). I am updating as quick as I possibly can! I promise!  
  
Aditu: You were right. I knew that I hadn't written myself into a corner, but I wanted to fake everybody out. And yes, last chapter's cliffhanger will come in handy in the next chapter, which is *Gasp* nearly all in Kikyo's perspective! WAAAAAAA! I am gonna need psychiatric care after this!  
  
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Too tired for parodies  
  
WS  
  
PS: was just kidding bout the "The End" really. Don't flame me for that please! 


	7. The Pain of Memory

Disclaimer: I own story, no own characters  
  
Warnings: Entire chapter practically in Kikyo's pov....Raw grief...liberal amounts of angst and small fluff.  
  
Translations:  
  
Tanuki: a large, raccoon like creature that supposedly can do illusions. Tricksters (Miroku's Hachi is one). On a side note, can also be used to refer to a tomboy.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
For Such a Time as This  
  
Chapter 7: The Pain of Memory  
  
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Inuyasha stared off into the trees where Kagome had disappeared. He was still in shock. As if having first Kouga, then his brother show up wasn't enough, Kikyo shocked him to the core. Then Kagome had gone to her. They had both started glowing, and he felt something snap inside of him. If Kikyo did anything to hurt Kagome... Intellectually, he knew that she wasn't likely to be hurt, having initiated the contact, but his instincts were ruling him now. Kikyo was the one to pin him to the tree; she was the more powerful of the two; she had tried to pull him to hell. Twice betrayed and better known, he was scared for Kagome. As soon as he could, for the glow would not let him near, he had forced his way between the girls, growling.  
  
What happened next rocked him to the core. Kikyo had opened her eyes, but it wasn't Kikyo who was looking at him. That had scared him more, and he had lashed out accordingly. Her response, if possible, had shocked him even further. Only Kagome, and perhaps Kaede, would know the significance of those words. He was rooted to the ground, barely even acknowledging the arrival of Kagura. His mind only caught up with him in time to mutter his own protest to her idea. When she took off the rosary that had been a thorn in his side for so long, he had only one thought. If she thought that the necklace was the only power she held over him, then she truly was the idiot he had accused her of being for so long. Just by existing she held power over him. Yet he was powerless as she mounted that feather and flew off.  
  
***  
  
Miroku, too, watched someone as Kagome disappeared. However, his gaze was fixed on Inuyasha, wondering if the hanyou fully realized all the results of the plan. Kikyo certainly did, for she had tried to warn Kagome. It appeared that Inuyasha did not know, however, for Miroku felt certain that he would not have willingly let Kagome go to her death. He moved to sit next to Sango, who had moved her brother to the side and now sat, worriedly looking after Kagome. Her hands were clenching and unclenching almost convulsively in the grass.   
  
Miroku debated with himself for a long time. In a few minutes he would have a duty to perform, and by all rights he should be preparing for it. But there was a woman in need of comfort, and he was never a man to ignore that need. After all, as a monk, it was his spiritual duty to help those in times of need, to provide solace, to answer questions, to... to make up a million excuses and reasons to give in to his heart. This was Sango, and Sango was worried. He had to help. Even without Kagome's advice on love, he would have helped. It was Sango, and that's the only reason he needed. Slowly he slid a hand over and rested it on top of hers, gripping it lightly.  
  
Sango froze, staring at their intertwined hands. Miroku had to look away and smile to himself at that reactions. All too soon the smile faded, replaced by worry and an impending sense of doom. In all likelihood they all would lose the center of their group in just a few minutes, the one piece that held all of their lives together. He found himself squeezing Sango's hand tighter, wanting her reassurance more than providing comfort now. Sango began to squeeze back with equal force, turning the grip almost desperate. They sat like that, gripping each other like a life line, until Kikyo stiffened.  
  
Soon Kagura and Kanna reappeared, landed, and put on their rosaries. Kikyo dissolved the barrier and turned to Miroku, overlooking their interlocked hands.  
  
"It's time," she said.  
  
***  
  
She watched as the monk nodded and stood, looking as serious as she had ever seen him. No. That wasn't right. As serious as Kagome had ever seen him. She frowned as she realized just how much of Kagome was still within her. Firmly locking those thoughts away, she tried to concentrate on something else. The memory of the monk's and the girl's clenched hands sprang to mind, as well as a foreign emotion she vaguely recognized as jealousy.  
  
She was scared, she realized, so scared of what would happen in the next few minutes. She wanted that connection, that comfort, that the monk had provided, but there was no one for her. Inuyasha was still frozen; his brother was forcing him to move, to place the Tetsusaiga as a barrier, but he wasn't having that much success. Besides, somewhere, some small voice inside of her railed at her for seeking comfort in a hanyou.  
  
All her musings had taken her far shorter than she thought. Kagura and the rest did not seem to notice the pause, so she continued as if it hadn't happened. She turned to the wind youkai. "When this is over," she said, "I will need to get to her quickly."  
  
Kagura nodded, and her hand strayed to her feather, ready. Inuyasha was finally compelled to move, and the swords were in position. Kikyo stood in front and concentrated. At first nothing happened. The only visible sign that she was working was the sweat rolling down her face.  
  
Then it began. This first signal was a miniscule reduction in the tension in Kikyo's shoulders. The monk must have been waiting for this for she felt the rosaries flare to life behind her. They had broken the barrier around Kagome's powers, and Kikyo could barely see the full results. The blooming dome of pink light was fairly obvious, but Kikyo could see the released souls on the leading edge. Grimly she continued to pour power into the fading spot that was her reincarnate. A wind that wasn't a wind arose and blew all around her. The zone of purity expanded to include all of Inuyasha forest and her village.  
  
As she was touched with the leading edge of the power, she was shocked by the amount of love in the mix. Accessing Kagome's memories, she recalled the feeling of the first time this had happened. That blast was all anger and desperation, a fierce need to protect. The love and acceptance in this blast proved to her, more than anything else, that the girl had known what she was doing, and had accepted the consequences. It touched her to the core.  
  
Finally the storm passed. Barely registering the collapse of the monk, Kikyo ran to Kagura and joined the two minions on the feather. They raced, seemingly faster than the wind, directly towards the fortress. They arrived just as the palace was disintegrating. Impatiently, she jumped off the feather and ran through the rooms, finally arriving in the main room.  
  
There was very little evidence that anyone had ever lived there. Naraku had completely disappeared, but Kikyo could still feel the youki that proved he had been in the room. Kagome's wild plan had worked. Naraku was dead.   
  
The room was dissolving around her. Her gaze was faxed on the small pile of earth and bones, piled high around two urns in the corner. She felt Kagura run up behind her. Instantly she was beside one of the urns and clutching it to her chest, a look of fierce joy on her face. Kanna, Inuyasha, and the rest of the youkai arrived.  
  
The wolf crouched, ready to launch an attack. "Anytime you're ready, bitch," he growled.  
  
Her smile was sad and triumphant at the same time. She began to dissolve as a breeze sprang up from no where. "I am the wind," she said, her voice getting faint. "And I am finally free!" With that she disappeared, and the breeze rushed around the room.   
  
It circled each of them before finally settling on the youkai lord, Inuyasha's brother. "I have a proposition for you," it said, the voice sounding like a breathier version of Kagura's.  
  
"What do you want with this Sesshomaru," the youkai said in a monotone.  
  
The wind, that Kikyo now recognized as Kagura, flirted with the youkai's hair for a bit. "There is a whole field full of wolves around here that are just dying to rise again."  
  
The wolf froze, unbelieving.  
  
"And why should I do this?" the lord asked.  
  
Kagura gave a sigh. "I suppose that out of the goodness of your heart is out of the question." She said, then moved to flirt with the girl child's hair.  
  
The youkai's ward seemed to know that if she spoke her lord would do the exact opposite, so she merely looked her plea.  
  
The youkai gave a barely audible sigh. "Fine," he said. "Show me this field. But if that wolf follows me nothing will be done. This Sesshomaru will not associate with wolves."  
  
Kagura laughed and danced around in the lord's hair and clothes again. "All alone then, hmmm?" she said flirtatiously. "We are going to have so much fun," she said as they moved off, the child and the toad following behind.  
  
There was silence. The room finally disappeared around them. "My sister was happy," Kanna finally said in her thready voice. "I'm glad."  
  
Her statement seemed to remind the others of why they ran here. "Where's Kagome?" Inuyasha growled.  
  
Kanna merely looked to the pile of earth surrounding the remaining urn. The look of dawning realization and pain in his face made Kikyo hurt. She couldn't look at his dead eyes for long. Instead, she picked up Kagura's urn and slowly began to fill it with the grave dirt. She started when the monk came up behind her and began to pray over what remained.  
  
"Miroku?"  
  
Kikyo turned. It was the little fox, apparently having come on the fire cat with the monk and the exterminator.  
  
"Miroku, what are you doing? Where's Kagome?" the fox asked.  
  
The monk did not answer, merely continuing to pray over the body.   
  
"Stop it!" he exclaimed, and Kikyo heard the thread of panic in his voice. "Stop it, Miroku!"  
  
The exterminator gathered the fox in her arms, trying to comfort him. He refused to be consoled, struggling against the embrace. Kikyo paused in her work to watch the drama unfold. A spark of life came back into Inuyasha's eyes, and he plucked the child from the girl's hold.  
  
"Pay attention to your nose," Inuyasha said softly, holding him close. "She's gone."  
  
"No!" the kit cried. "She can't be dead! You're lying!"  
  
"Everyone dies, brat!" Inuyasha yelled. "Get used to it! You're a youkai! If you fall in love with a human, they will leave you!"  
  
"This is all you fault!" the child screamed right back. "She didn't want to go, but you chased her away! It's your fault! Your fault! Yours!"  
  
The fox dissolved into tears, beating on Inuyasha's chest with his tiny fists. Inuyasha sat and held onto him with all his might, but his eyes remained dry. The exterminator had collapsed against the fire cat, who was rumbling in distress. The wolf looked stunned, but when the fox began to cry he bolted, seeming to attempt to out run the truth. Even the monk had paused in his prayers, as if trying to decide whether to offer comfort to the living or care for the dead.   
  
Kikyo decided to solve his dilemma. "Don't bother with your prayers, monk," she said. "It's useless."  
  
He turned and said, stunned, "What do you mean by that?"  
  
"Her soul," came the whispered answer from Kanna. Everyone except Kikyo turned to stare at the girl, having forgotten she was there. "Her soul is no longer here."  
  
"That's impossible," the exterminator said. "A soul doesn't just disappear."  
  
Kikyo did not respond, instead retuning to her task. Fatigue was beginning to ride upon her. It had been a long day, for both of her forms. Her world seemed to reduce to the urn and her hands. Finally she had gotten all of it. Capping the urn, she turned to find Kanna right beside her. Nodding to the other urn, she asked, "Isn't that yours?"  
  
"I am nothing," the girl responded. "That was mine, yes, but there is nothing in it. I have no heart to guard."  
  
"What will you do now?" Kikyo asked.  
  
"Wait for Kagura," she said. "She will come back now that the wolf is gone. She can't resist something that is not affected by her. The wind affects everything, but I'm nothing." She gave the miko a small smile.  
  
"Where's the jewel?" Inuyasha interrupted. His voice was harsh with suppressed emotion, and he still cradled the fox in his hands, but in his eyes there was a fire that had been missing a few moments before, the fire of hope. "I'll make my wish. She'll live again."  
  
Kikyo was unprepared for the stab of pain that shafted straight through her heart. Closing her eyes, she whispered brokenly, "Impossible. The jewel is gone as well."  
  
Clutching the urn with the remains inside, she stood swiftly, intending to get back to the village and away from Inuyasha as soon as possible. Her world spun around her, and she collapsed again. She barely managed to twist around so that she did not break the urn.  
  
A face swam into her vision, and she tried to force the urn into their hands. "Take this to Kaede for burial. I don't think I am going to make it."  
  
***  
  
The first thing she knew was that the sun was warm. She did not know how long she had been in the dark and cold, but the sun felt good. Giving a deep sigh, she opened her eyes and sat up. She was in a small hut, alone. The weapons piled to one side indicated that this was the hut that Inuyasha and his group stayed in when in the village. Someone must have carried her back and allowed her to sleep off the work of the precious day. Judging by the location of the sun as it shone through the window, it was late afternoon. She must have slept for a long time.  
  
She stood, and was surprised at how weak she felt. Apparently she hadn't fully recovered yet. She slowly changed from her sleeping robe into the familiar miko robes. Exiting the hut, she stared up at the steps to the shrine. After stopping twice to rest on the way up, she finally reached the top, and stared.  
  
Her gravestone rose out of the ground, a mound of freshly turned earth just in front of it. The yellow backpack stood silent vigil at the base. Tacked onto the place where her name used to be was a crude wooden sign with 'Kagome' scratched on it in barely legible scrawl. That is not what drew her attention, though. Hanging from every conceivable perch on the headstone were rosaries. Nine of them. She was puzzled for a moment, but then realized what they must be. Eight rosaries for the eight youkai she saved from Naraku, and one older, more worn one that a hanyou had worn and hated for so long.  
  
She sat on the top step, looking down on what used to be her village, taking in the changes that had occurred over the past fifty years. Even with the signs of the recent youkai attacks, she could tell the village had prospered in the years of relative peace. She was glad that her death, even based on mistrust and betrayal as it had been, had been worth something to someone. It gave her a perverse sense of comfort.  
  
There was a small disturbance on the edge of the forest, and she watched idly as Inuyasha and his followers emerged and walked to the hut. Almost immediately everyone ran out again, running in three different directions. Inuyasha went to the forest, the monk to the fields and the two exterminators to the village. Kaede followed, but she was the only one to look towards the shrine. Kikyo stood and slowly made her way down the stairs, meeting her sister at the bottom.  
  
"They told me what happened, Kikyo-onee-sama," Kaede said carefully. "We were worried for you."  
  
"Why?" Kikyo was honestly puzzled. "You should have known that I would go to the shrine when I woke. There was no need for a search party." She suddenly realized that that is what it had been.  
  
Kaede was silent as if wanting to wait until everyone was there before any explanations were given. They walked back and sat in the hut, preparing dinner. Fairly shortly thereafter, the other three walked in, and all seemed surprised that Kikyo was back. The miko turn to Inuyasha and said, "I am surprised that you could not smell that I was at the shrine."  
  
All she got in response was a muttered "Feh," but in a few minutes, her question was answered in a way that only produced more questions. The sun set. Inuyasha sighed as his hair turned black, the ears and claws disappeared, and his youki was gone from her senses.  
  
Kikyo stared in shock. He had accepted the change casually, as if the others in the room already knew about it. It had taken her three months to figure out where he disappeared to on moonless nights, and she only found out because she followed him. She had never gotten a chance to confront him on it, however. To these people, who had maybe known him for two months, for him to reveal such a secret was almost beyond her reasoning. Then the real truth came crashing down on her. The last new moon had been two weeks ago! But when she glanced out the window, there was no moon in the sky. The pieces finally started adding up, and she sighed. "This isn't the day after the battle, is it?"  
  
There was a general shaking of heads. Inuyasha pouted in a corner, awaiting the dawn.  
  
"How long have I been asleep?" she asked, resigned.  
  
"Two weeks," the monk said.  
  
Kikyo nodded. That was why they had been so worried. She should have expected as much. She herself had slept for three days when her own powers had awakened. This time she not only had to force another's powers to mature from a great distance, but she was getting fragmented memories of Kagome's own exploits on that fateful day. Still, there was something bothering her about the amount of time she had slept, some responsibility she was forgetting.  
  
"Oh, no!" she cried, the realization coming quickly. Once again, she stood up too fast and almost fell down. Recovering her balance, she headed for the door.  
  
"Wait!" Inuyasha was in front of her. "Where are you going?"  
  
"The soldiers at the shrine," she explained quickly. When all she got was confused stares, she said, "I had a hospital of sorts at a small shrine. I treated mainly soldiers, but sometimes I received accident victims. It wasn't much, but I was only supposed to be gone one night! I need to get back to them!"  
  
"You're not going anywhere tonight." The female exterminator silenced any protests she might have made with a glance. "It is senseless to travel blind in the night. Rest now, and in the morning, Kohaku and I will take Kirara and see if there is anybody left. We can bring them here."  
  
Kikyo would have protested, but she felt her knees tremble beneath her. As gracefully as possible she walked back to the fire and sat down. She honestly didn't know why she was so concerned. She really hadn't cared about the soldiers before. They were just something she was doing while she waited for a chance to kill Naraku. Yet this new body seemed to come with a full range of emotions. She found that she was feeling more in the afternoon that she had been awake than she had in the months she had been 'alive' before.  
  
"Smart choice," the girl said. "That's my best friend's body you have," she continued with barely concealed hostility, "and I'm not about to let you run it ragged."  
  
The monk decided to break the tense silence with a discrete cough. "What's a hospital?" he asked when Kikyo turned to him.  
  
The miko blinked, but then remembered that she had used the word in her earlier rant. "It... it's a word used in Kagome's time," she said, trying to work it out, "for a place of healing. Doctor's congregate there, especially to treat accidents, but there aren't any mikos or monks. Well, there are, but they don't do any healing, and... I'm not making any sense, am I?"  
  
"I think we got the general idea, onee-sama." Kaede said as she handed her a bowl. "Right now you need to build up some strength. You have two weeks to catch up on."  
  
Kikyo smiled as she watched her sister hand bowls to everyone else. The smile faded when Kaede handed two bowls to the monk. She suddenly noticed what, or rather who, was missing from the hut. "Where's the fox?"  
  
Everyone tensed. The monk had stood and was not frozen. Slowly, he began to move again, carrying his two bowls over to a corner that Kikyo had overlooked. There, tucked up in what the Kagome in her mind told her, was a sleeping bag lay the fox kit. He made no move to recognize the monk, only continued to stare blankly at nothing, his hands nervously picking at the blanket. Kikyo frowned as the monk tried to get the child to eat, without success.   
  
She didn't understand. The kit had chosen to die. It would make sense to try and save the fire cat, or Inuyasha, who were powerful in battle, but the fox? She shook her head and returned to her meal, ignoring the voice in her head that said that youkai should be judged for more than their use in battle, that there were other reasons to preserve their lives.  
  
***  
  
The next two weeks passed in somewhat of a blur. It took barely three days for the news to get out that 'Kikyo-sama' had taken up another shrine when its miko had been killed. When it did, the wounded came in droves. She couldn't do much at first because of her own health, but by the end of the third week her days were filled with the care of the wounded. She managed to save most of them through a combination of her own healing talent and Kagome's knowledge from the future. She had an unexpected ally in the exterminator's brother, who was extremely quiet, but quick to follow orders and had a soft touch. By the second week, when she saw the joy return to his face, she realized that Kohaku had a healer's soul, and began to teach him what she knew. It pained her to think what Naraku had put this child through, and she wanted to help heal his soul. So, between care of the wounded and Kohaku's lessons, her days were very busy.  
  
The nights were a different matter. During the day she could pretend. She was needed, and her help was vital. But when she trudged back to the hut at the end of the day, the memories surfaced. That hut wasn't supposed to be that quiet. The girl's eyes weren't supposed to look that lost. The monk's hands were supposed to stray. Inuyasha wasn't supposed to prefer the trees to the hut at night. But most disturbing of all, was the silent little corner, where a small youkai sat, staring into nothing, waiting for someone who wasn't coming back.  
  
In the first week he would disappear at times, and someone would be sent to the well. He would inevitably be there, having jumped to the bottom. By the second week he was too weak to even make the attempt. The monk had not been able to get him to eat. Kikyo was getting worried. Normally a youkai could go for several months on minimal food, but he was so young. Something would have to be done soon.  
  
One day, towards the end of the second week, she felt several youkai passing to the east of the village. These were fairly peaceful, unlike some of the others that the monk and the exterminator had gone to finish off. The death of Naraku had left a power void that several youkai were in the process of scrambling for. Apparently, these youkai were moving on to better territory. Among them was a fox youkai pair that Kagome had talked to in a very confusing section of her memories. Kikyo called to them and explained the situation with the kit. They agreed to come and take a look. Kikyo told them to come that night, so as not to scare the villagers.  
  
"What's wrong, Kikyo-sama?" Kohaku asked  
  
Kikyo blinked. Belatedly realizing that she had paused in the middle of bandaging some man in order to talk to the youkai, she smiled. "Nothing's wrong," she said. "I just received some hope."  
  
The rest of the day passed in a blur. Kikyo was sure, that if someone were to ask her on a later day what she had done for the rest of the day, she would not be able to answer. She just seemed to jump from one place and time to another. The fox pair arrived just as they were finishing dinner. Out of respect for the villagers, they did not arrive with the fanfare that had heralded their first visit. Kikyo merely sensed their presence and lay down her dishes.   
  
Picking up the kit, she led the way outside. "Here he is," she called to the waiting foxes. "Take him."  
  
"What the hell are you doing!" Inuyasha demanded.  
  
"Giving him away," Kikyo responded.  
  
"How dare you?" cried the exterminator.  
  
"Shippo will stay with us," the monk seconded.  
  
"And he will die within a week," Kikyo said. "I am saving his life!"  
  
"He has twice lost those he would call parents?" the male fox said to disrupt the argument.  
  
"Yes," Kikyo said. "But the second was barely a month ago. You should be able to care for him."  
  
The female was already shaking her head. "A kit twice lost is lost forever," she said. "Especially one so young. He will die, unless you find some way to bring the parents back. Illusions sometimes work, but never for long."  
  
"Damn it, Kikyo," Inuyasha said. "Put Shippo back in the hut. We can take care of him."  
  
"No, you can't!" Kikyo said desperately. "He's dying!"  
  
"The female should not show such disrespect," the male fox said to Inuyasha. "As pack leader, you should punish her."  
  
"Pack?" Kikyo spat, her emotions running high. "I am not a part of any youkai's pack."  
  
There was a general pause as the foxes regarded her. "No," said the male finally. "No, you are not, yet you still protect the kit." With that parting shot they were gone.  
  
Kikyo thrust the fox into Inuyasha's arms and stalked off. Almost as soon as she was out of the other's sight, she was bombarded with memories. Happier times flashed through her mind's eye, too quickly to really see. One thing was clear, though. Every memory featured the fox, smiling and happy. Kikyo groaned and clutched her head.  
  
"I tried!" she cried. "What more do you want from me?"  
  
Her only response was an increase in the speed of the memories. The Kagome in her brain did not want Shippo to die, and honestly, Kikyo didn't want the fox to go either. But her solution did not work. What more could the girl ask of her?  
  
The next day was hell. The memories forced their way through in everything she did. Apparently whatever part of her that was still Kagome was getting desperate. It distracted her during meals, prayers, even during her work on the patients. On top of everything else, a storm was brewing, and she needed to move everyone to shelter. By the time she got back to the hut that night she was exhausted.  
  
The thunder started midway through dinner. No rain yet, but it would happen soon. At the first peal the fox jumped, and by the second he was screaming for Kagome. None of the others could console him. He wanted Kagome and he wanted her right now. Kikyo finally left, unable to stand it any longer.  
  
Almost immediately the memories hit full force, demanding that she go back inside.   
  
"What good can I do in there?" Kikyo said as she sat on the bridge outside the hut.   
  
A memory: Kagome cuddling Shippo at night.  
  
"Hmph," she snorted, "He wants you, not me."  
  
Another: Inuyasha mistaking Kagome for Kikyo, especially when she was in miko robes.  
  
"The kit's smarter than that," Kikyo said. "Even Inuyasha wasn't fooled for long. Why'd the kid go berserk in any case?"  
  
Yet another: Two youkai that utilized lightning, one that wore a fox pelt around his waist.  
  
"His father?" asked Kikyo, suddenly curious.  
  
Memory: Blue fox flame, in the shape of a proud male, protecting both kit and Kagome.  
  
"Alright," she said. "But that still doesn't explain why it has to be me. Why not Inuyasha?"  
  
A montage: Inuyasha bonking the kit on the head, chasing after him, holding him up by his tail.  
  
"Fine, fine," Kikyo said. "I'll do something. Shut up and let me think."  
  
She went to the shrine, hoping to calm her nerves and rather desperate for a solution. The kit wasn't stupid. She knew that if she went in there and tried to comfort him he would reject her. That, and she'd probably get hit by one or more weapons. So she spent the time walking up the steps to review what she knew.   
  
Fox youkai were tricksters by nature. Generally pleasure seekers, a male could be tempted by an attractive female. Once caught, one arrow would be enough to... no, that was not the kind of information she was looking for.   
  
Their illusions were very good, even when young, better than a tanuki's. They often utilized illusions within illusions, so one has to be patient in order to trap their real selves. Once seen through, it takes time for them to develop another illusion, so a shot could be taken... NO! That wouldn't help either. All her information was about death and killing, not preserving life.  
  
A memory: Kagome holding Shippo as he cried.  
  
Kikyo sighed. That wouldn't WORK!   
  
Fox youkai possess traits of the animals they come from, such as keen hearing and eyesight, as well as a highly developed sense of... smell! THAT just might work!  
  
She ran to the grave, where Kagome's backpack still stood vigil. She rummaged through it, grabbing a uniform and some bathing supplies. The wind picked up, bringing with it the fresh sent of rain. The thunder rumbled, and she quickly ran to the river and took the shortest bath in recorded history. Changing into the uniform, she ran back to the hut, appearing in the door, her hair flying wet and free, just as the storm broke. The fox was still screaming.  
  
"Shippo-chan?" she said. "What's wrong?"  
  
The hut was dead silent.  
  
"KAGOME!" the kit cried, launching himself at her. "I knew you would come back!"  
  
"Shippo-chan, you're so light," Kikyo said. "You need to eat some more." 'Might as well save the kit while we're comforting him,' she thought.  
  
The kit nodded, sobbing, but refused to leave her. She ended up with him on her lap, spoon feeding him his first meal in a little under a month. The effort exhausted him, and he fell asleep shortly thereafter. The others were still staring at her in disbelief.  
  
"Ka-Kagome-chan?" the exterminator finally ventured.  
  
Kikyo shook her head no, refusing to look up from the kit. After two weeks of barely restrained hostility, she didn't want to look at their faces. "He needed to eat," she offered as an explanation, "but would only eat from her hand. I am merely providing that hand."  
  
"And what happens tomorrow, when he wakes to find you there instead of her?" the monk asked.  
  
"I'll deal with that tomorrow, but for now he won't die by next week," she said, quietly defiant, but still refusing to meet their gaze.  
  
She stayed like that, looking at the kit and absently stroking his fur, until the others all went to bed. Inuyasha was the last to go, waiting until the storm had blown over before going to sleep in a tree. She stood, carrying the kit, and gazed out upon the stars.   
  
"I don't get it," she finally said to the child in her arms. "You are a youkai, so by all rights I, as a miko, should shoot you. But something in me won't let that happen. And don't say that it's Kagome," she snorted, "because that would be lying. I could have let you scream. In a week you would be dead, and I would not have to lift a finger." She sighed, "No, it was me. I called the foxes. I put on this ridiculous piece of clothing. I just don't get why. It's like I want her to come back."  
  
Kikyo trailed off, thinking for a moment, then chuckled quietly, slightly disturbing the kit in her arms. "You are an idiot, Kagome," she said. "An idiot for leaving all of this. He might have loved me... once. But I never stood a chance once you stood up to him and pulled that arrow out. You are the heart of this group, and they are falling apart without you." She looked at Shippo, resting in her arms. "Just you wait," she told him as he stirred restlessly. "I'll do everything in my power to bring her back."  
  
***  
  
"Kikyo-sama! Kikyo-sama!"  
  
Kikyo turned to find the little girl running to her as fast as she could. "Rin-chan! You're late this week!"  
  
"Rin knows! But Sesshomaru-sama is here, and says that this better be the last time." Rin said, panting. "Rin is not sure if she can convince Sesshomaru-sama to come again!"  
  
Kikyo sighed. "Then we shall just have to hope that this week will be the week!" Rin nodded enthusiastically, and they headed to the well.  
  
She had woken up the day after the storm to find a completely changed Shippo. He had apparently heard her the night before, and was going to hold her to her promise. Not an easy task when the rest of the people they were living with hated her. She had thought the practice hopeless, for her one idea involved finding the exact date of the first final battle, and that involved going repeatedly to the no man's land of the well. The first time she had tried Inuyasha had practically thrown her out.  
  
She had not counted on the resourcefulness of the fox. Shippo had noticed, when Sesshomaru had come to fight, that Inuyasha didn't respond as before. When Sesshomaru left in disgust, he followed. Then the little imp proposed that Sesshomaru come back once a week, to distract Inuyasha and give Kikyo time to check out the well. If Kikyo's idea worked, Kagome would be back, and Inuyasha would fight harder. It was a simple bargain, but it worked.  
  
Carefully avoiding the loud fight, the two coconspirators arrived at the well. Kikyo gasped. She could see the steady pink glow from the well bursting forth. Turning to Rin, she said, "You didn't come a day too late. Go tell your Sesshomaru-sama that this was the right week, and the plan will be put in place. Ask him to come back tomorrow."  
  
"OK!" the child yelled as she ran back to the fight.  
  
Kikyo took a deep breath and jumped. She had never experienced a flight through the well before, and she was a little nervous. She had Kagome's memories to rely on, but that was nothing compared to the real experience. The lights, pink and blue, seemed to caress her and she hurtled through nothing. She had barely opened her mouth to scream before landing softly on the other side. Once down there, she paused and felt the energies of the well, determined to figure out what was causing that pink light. In her experience only one thing did that, and that was....yes! There it was. The Shikon no Tama burst forth from where it had been trapped for five months, in the timeless space in the middle of the well. Kikyo smiled. This was the cause of the time loop. She quickly replaced it, hoping that it could still work.  
  
Once she had replaced the jewel, she climbed slowly out of the well. Exiting the well house, the first thing she saw was a woman, who stared at her in shock. Kikyo searched through Kagome's memory for a name and rolled her eyes. She couldn't very well call this person 'Mama', could she?  
  
"Higarashi-san," she said for lack of a better term. "As much as I look it, I am not your daughter."  
  
The woman nodded. "I think I knew that already," she said. "Where is my daughter, and why hasn't she come back for three months?"  
  
"Ma'm," Kikyo said, and froze. She hadn't the heart to tell Inuyasha that Kagome was dead, so how could she tell her mother?  
  
"Let's go inside," Higarashi said. "I'll make some tea and you can tell me the whole story.  
  
And so, over tea, the whole story came pouring out. She left out the parts Kagome had left out of her rendition, but in general the story remained the same. Once she had brought the woman up to the present with the first version of events, she began to get a little shaky. She didn't fully understand the last part of the story, but knew it had something to do with the well being broken. She pieced together that story as well as she could.  
  
"And so it comes to this," She finally said. "Three months ago your daughter did something that I'm not even sure I could do. It was the single most selfless and brave act I have ever seen. She took my body, the one made of clay, and confronted Naraku. She managed to kill him, but died in the process. I have been trying since then to go through the well to tell you this, and to give you some hope."  
  
"Hope?" came a querulous voice from the door. "You have just told me that my granddaughter is dead. What hope have we?"  
  
"More than you might think," Kikyo responded. "I told you that she died in the past, but it is my belief that this has happened before. During one of her jumps in the time loop, she confronted me and shot at me. I am an excellent shot with the bow, and I defended myself. When my life is on the line, I never miss, and from her memory I was shooting to kill. It is my belief that the Shikon jewel preserved her and put her back at the beginning of the loop in order for it to be pulled from the well. It is the only explanation that makes sense under the circumstances, because she did live past that incident."  
  
She turned back to the mother, who seemed more reasonable than the frowning man behind her. "I believe that the jewel will do the same thing again, and some time tonight or early this morning your daughter's soul should appear. I intend to be there to merge it again with this body, where it belongs."  
  
Higarashi nodded, and offered her some room to stay while she waited. Kikyo politely refused, asking where Kagome's room was, so that she might prepare. Once there, she sat at the girl's desk and brought out the journal. If...no, when this worked, Kagome would want to know what had happened and how to fix the time loop.  
  
Late into the night she wrote, her meditation for the long vigil. She tried to stay awake, not wanting to miss the return of Kagome's soul, but she finally fell asleep at the desk, the months of worry taking over.  
  
And in the dark before the dawn, she began to softly glow, as what once was lost returned home.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
So it looks like I scared everybody last time. Sorry, won't do that again. (At least until the real end, that is)  
  
A/N: Longest chapter to date! (At least with Inuyasha fics, I have one 26 page Fushigi Yuugi chapter...) And only one more chapter to go! That's right, folks, all that remains of this story is an epilogue. (I told ya not to worry, I am an Inu/Kag fan.)   
  
Not only did this chapter take forever to write and get right, first ff.net was down, and then my word program encountered a fatal error.....GRRRR! Everything goes against me!  
  
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Review responses:  
  
Fanfiction.net  
  
Ghoul King: GAH!! Don't eat me!!!! This chapter took at least four major rewrites, so that's why it's a little late! Seriously, I am glad you like it. Does this save me from slaughtering?  
  
Alden Hawke: Were your questions answered here? Sorry you had to wait a little longer this time.  
  
Sammyosa92: Nope, not the end. Next part's the end.  
  
Aamelie: Evil is my trade mark, but it will all end up happily in the end! I hope I got the next chapter out "son" enough for you! :)  
  
Jao-jao: Already emailed ya!  
  
Kaagome: Never fear! Inu/Kag fluff coming soon!!!  
  
Mockingbird917: *Bows and scrapes* I'm sorry! I'm sorry! (Geeze, I seem to be doing a lot of apologizing in these notes.  
  
Media Miner:  
  
Aditu: I am glad that you are just a kind and gentle reader, because I got some semi flames on ff.net! I was right, this chapter gave me major difficulties, and that's why it is so late. Grrrr, stupid Kikyo. You know, if I didn't like her so much I would really hate her. She's an enormously difficult character to write!  
  
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That's all for now!  
  
WS 


	8. At the Beginning With You

Disclaimer: For the last time, me no own!!!  
  
Warnings: Kikyo angst, Inu/Kag fluff, Mir/San fluff, VERY strong PG-13 rating, PLEASE re-read the end of the last chapter and the beginning of chapter 6 if you are confused, because it has been a long time.  
  
Translation:   
  
Kanji: set of characters that make up part of the Japanese language. Represents entire words. Combined with kana to form the entire language  
  
Chit: a foolish little girl. This is an English word, but an older one, so I thought I would define it here. I could not think of another word that fit the flow as well.  
  
Hentai: mild word for pervert or perverted  
  
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For Such a Time as This  
  
Epilogue: At the Beginning with You  
  
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"Inuyasha?" Sango stood at the edge of the clearing, watching the hanyou pace around the well.  
  
It had been a strange couple of months. Since the storm, Shippo had spent more time with Kikyo than anyone else. Sango was glad that Shippo was no longer starving himself, but she was still a little untrusting of the miko. Not that she had done anything wrong, but her history was against her. She was even worried about Kohaku, though he seemed to be healing better under Kikyo's tutelage than anything she had tried in the two weeks the miko had slept.  
  
Kikyo did nothing to earn their trust. She spent her entire time in the shrine, and only now did they regret that they did not watch her more closely. But the amount of youkai attacks had increased with the absence of Naraku, and Kikyo had, in the past month, recommended several youkai from Kagome's memory. Yet she refused to go on the journeys to vanquish them. Not that Sango truly minded. Miroku, as far as she could tell, had not looked at another woman since Kagome's death. She now rather enjoyed the time alone with the monk.  
  
She was paying for it now. Inuyasha had practically not spoken to anyone since the storm, so they hadn't realized that Sesshomaru had shown up in the past couple of weeks every time they had been off on youkai hunts. Yet this week he did not. He had come yesterday. It was an odd battle to watch, because Inuyasha hardly seem to fight, yet Sesshomaru did not press his advantage. Sango had been prepared to aid him, but he never needed it. Then the girl, Rin, had run up, screaming something about Jaken. Sesshomaru, looking almost relieved at the interruption, gathered the child and left.  
  
Sango should have known something was wrong then, especially when Inuyasha had revealed Sesshomaru's pattern. Or at the very least when Kikyo didn't come down for lunch. Kohaku had, and she had been a fool and given him another lunch to take up to the miko, who apparently had a difficult case to work on. Her only excuse had been that she was still tired from the fighting they had done in the past weeks. Who would have thought that a youkai tree would be that hard to kill? And this week they had battled an army of the undead. So she wasn't at all suspicious until Kikyo had not come down for dinner. This time, Shippo went up with the meal. Fairly soon he came hurtling down, yelling that Kikyo was scary when she was concentrating on a patient.  
  
Why hadn't she remembered that foxes were tricksters at heart? It had been so long since the young fox had tried a trick that she was completely unprepared. Kaede had gone to the shrine this morning, and returned quickly, saying that the miko wasn't there. Kohaku and Shippo had looked away, shamefaced, and the manhunt had begun. Inuyasha had led them unerringly to the well.  
  
He had immediately jumped in, but the well refused to let him though. The howl that rose up then broke Sango's heart.   
  
And so they stood, Sango and Miroku on the side of the clearing, Shippo and Kohaku beside the well, and Inuyasha pacing and cursing. Then Kohaku stiffened, Shippo gave a cry, and Inuyasha whirled to glare at the well.  
  
A voice drifted up. "Is anybody there to help me out?"  
  
***  
  
She woke, her head once again pillowed in her arms on top of her desk. No dreams had disturbed her sleep, and her immediate thought was that she had failed. Not wanting to confirm that truth, she stood up and wandered over to her window. If that plan hadn't worked, then she was giving up. She had no more ideas. Making a sudden decision, she stalked over to the journal. Good news or bad, she had to know. Before she could touch the journal, however, there was a tentative knock on the door.   
  
"Kikyo?" her mother said as she poked her head in.  
  
"Mama?" Kagome said, her face pale. "Why did you call me that?"  
  
The realization dawned slowly on her mother's face. "Kagome?" she whispered  
  
"Mama?" Kagome said, confused.  
  
She was suddenly engulfed in a hug the like of which she hadn't known. Wait. Yes, she had. The one time she had shown up in the kitchen after her attempt on Kikyo had failed, her mother had hugged her like this. Gently, she removed herself from her mother's embrace.   
  
Staring intensely into her mother's eyes, she said, "Why did you call me that?"  
  
Slowly the story came out. How she had disappeared for over three months. How much they had worried. How the girl, Kikyo, had come back the previous day. The explanations and compliments she had given. The hope she had offered. How she had sat there for most of the day, writing in the journal. And finally, the nervous tension that her mother had felt when she had knocked on the door, and the joy that overwhelmed her at the word 'Mama'.  
  
Kagome was in shock. The plan worked? But if it had worked, was she still in the time loop? Her mother caught her confusion, and her frequent glances at the journal. Used to her daughter's curiosity, she bowed out gracefully after extracting a promise to return quickly from the past should she feel the need to go there.  
  
As soon as her mother left, Kagome grabbed the notebook and opened it, collapsing on the bed to read.  
  
***  
  
Dear Kagome  
  
First, I apologize if this cannot be read. I am attempting to use your knowledge of kanji to use more modern symbols, but I might regress.  
  
When you friends discovered what you truly meant to do, the reaction was violent. Most were lost to grief. The wolf turned tail and ran, but not before Kagura had managed to flirt and plead her way into convincing Sesshomaru to revive the wolf's kin. From other rumors, the wind child seems determined to undo all that she accomplished under Naraku.  
  
I collapsed and slept for two weeks, restoring the energy lost by both of us that day. Perhaps if I had been awake, I could have reversed some of the events that happened after. Perhaps I could have settled down and enjoyed the life you had wanted me to have. Perhaps. Probably not.  
  
Four things prevented me from doing this.  
  
The first was your companions. The monk and the exterm...no, I guess I should call them Sango and Miroku, shouldn't I? They deserve that much respect, at least. Anyway, Sango and Miroku were constantly watching me, expecting me to react in certain ways, and being disappointed when I did not. Sango's eyes were usually filled with suspicion as well, but I thought that that had more to do with my care of her brother than anything else. She's blind if she can't see that Kohaku has a healer's soul. That is my one unselfish regret in doing this; I have to give up his training. I beg you to find some books on the subject and continue to teach him. But all this is truly beside the point. The two regarded me with an expectation of seeing someone I am not. But I could have dealt with that.  
  
The second was Inuyasha. I must admit a little bitterness here, because the light in his eyes died with you. I noticed it when I first saw the two of you together. There was a gentleness in his eyes that had only just begun to show before Naraku. It had bloomed so much in the short time you had known him that it filled me with hate and jealousy. I was the one to start that change, it should have been me that completed it. Me! But there is little I can do right now about it. His eyes were dead. I tried, for two months, to rekindle the spark, to light the flame that would make Inuyasha himself again. When it didn't happen, I knew it never could. But I could have dealt with that as well. I wouldn't have been happy, but I had lived, content, as a miko for so long that I knew I could do it again.  
  
The third thing was Shippo. Even more than Inuyasha, the little fox withdrew into himself. He would not eat, would barely sleep, and spent all of the day sitting on your sleeping bag. After the first shock had worn off, I ignored him, for he wanted you, not me. It almost surprises me today that I could have let him die, merely because he was youkai. You, however, wouldn't let me.  
  
And thus we come to the forth reason. I am not sure you realized just how much of yourself you left within me. You were constantly there, not so much a voice in my head as a set of memories that weren't my own. Unlike the others, who seemed to be constantly looking for something that wasn't there, you seemed to understand by dilemma and attempted to help me. Whenever a situation go particularly difficult, whenever they seemed to expect more from me than I could handle, you would provide a memory that could explain their behavior or at least tell me what they were expecting. That behavior humbled me. How could you be so selfless? I know that, had our positions been reversed, I would have at least felt resentful, and would have tried to hinder you.  
  
This last reason is why I am writing now, hoping and praying that you did actually die under my arrow so long ago. If you did, that would mean that the Shikon no Tama had brought you back to the beginning of the time loop. Throughout the first three reasons runs a common theme. You. They all wanted you back. I can almost see you shaking your head in disbelief. Do not try and deny it, or say it was just grief. If it was nothing more than grief, then I only exacerbate the problem by being there. When we first switched places, you gave me four reasons for your actions, reasons that, while technically accurate, are no longer true for the situation.  
  
I will start with the most believable. You could have managed your plan while in your own body. It would have been more difficult for me to force your powers to mature, but it could have been done. Whether you could have convinced me to do it is another matter.  
  
I was right when I said that the dead merely wish for life again. But you did not listen close enough. I said that the dead wish, 'for that which they can never have, life.' It's true that I am alive again, but it is not my body, nor is it completely my soul anymore. Even if I am really alive, and have to eat and sleep, I do not feel so. I remember being dead, remember being subordinate to you in our personality. I remember the peaceful rest it was. I might have wished for life once, but no longer.  
  
The other two reasons are no longer valid, but for circumstances that I know, having lived with your memories for three months, you will not believe. You say you do not belong in that time. That might have been true upon the very instant of your arrival, but one you pulled that arrow from the tree, you made this time you own. If I had been revived and had pulled that arrow out, I have no doubt that Inuyasha's first action would have been to kill me. I can tell that you won't believe that, so I will give you another example. Can you imagine Sango, a youkai exterminator, willingly traveling with a youkai and a hanyou she had not, as with Kirara, tamed? She is a proud woman, yet Inuyasha is her leader. She does this because you are her friend, and you trust him. And before you start protesting that you were all working toward a common goal, I will say that she has stayed even after Naraku was destroyed. For the first couple of months, she stayed out of an irrational hope that you could come back.  
  
When, a month ago, acceptance began to appear in her eyes, I knew I had to act quickly. I was by this time gambling everything on this night, and did not want you return home to be greeted by your friends scattered to the winds. So I used your memories to send Miroku and Sango on missions. I think you will be pleased to know that the youkai tree has been taken care of, as well as the undead army of the witch's children.  
  
The final reason you gave me, that of Inuyasha's love for me, I will not even bother to refute. Not because it is still true, but because you would never believe me. You will have to experience that for yourself before you doubts will rest. I am sorry that you have such self doubt, but I know that I am the partial cause of it. My mere presence caused so much confusion in his mind that I do not even really blame him. When you are someone who considers any feeling to be a human weakness, how can you possibly accept that you love one girl? When that girl dies, yet remains, having betrayed you, it is practically impossible to admit your feelings for another. I do not believe he will ever say the words, but if he does, be doubly grateful, for he never relaxed enough, trusted enough to tell me. But I will stop there. I know you are shaking your head at me.  
  
You gave me four reasons to stay. Now I give you three more to return. Three that you ignored in all your planning.  
  
Sango, Miroku, Shippo.  
  
I have made all the arguments in my power to convince you of your own importance; the rest lies in the past. The cause of the time loop resides in the well. Carefully climb down into the well and concentrate. The Shikon no Tama is trapped in between times, but will come if you call. Then you can travel the well as normal, and the changes you made should stay.  
  
I wish you a good life, and know you will lead it well.  
  
Kikyo  
  
On the following pages I have, on the advice of your mother, written a farewell to Inuyasha. I would prefer if you do not read it, but if he cannot read it on his own, I would like for you to be the one to read it to him.  
  
***  
  
Kagome read through the journal, hardly knowing what to think. Kikyo seemed to know her well, for she predicted all of her reactions. She flatly disregarded all references to Inuyasha as too biased, yet found she could trust Kikyo's judgment on other matters. Thinking about what she had read, her heart tightened in fear over Shippo. Frowning, she flipped back through the journal, but could find no evidence that the kit still lived. The best assurance she had was that something within herself even when dead would not let Kikyo give up on him.  
  
Once she read that part, she found herself reading through the whole of it again, slower. This time she found herself giving more credence to Kikyo's findings. If she could trust the girl on judgments on people she had barely known three months ago, how could she discredit Kikyo's judgment on someone that she had known so much better? When she got to the post script again, she felt an irresistible temptation to read what the miko had written to Inuyasha. Forcibly, she slammed the journal closed and stood up to remove herself from the temptation.  
  
If she wanted the timeline to stay the same, she had several things to do before she could go back through the well. She quickly went down to the well house and carefully climbed down into the well. Sure enough, the Shikon no Tama was glowing on the bottom, caught in the middle of the well. She called it to her, and almost immediately felt the difference in the well. How could she have missed this before? It seemed as if the Shikon no Tama had been telling her what was wrong, but she was too caught up in her own worries to realize it.   
  
The next hour she spent in the loving care of her family, who were overjoyed at her return. She actually paid attention to her grandfather's stories for once, and played at least two or three video games with Souta. Of course she was both thoroughly bored and thoroughly trounced by the end, but the look on their faces was worth it. Finally, her mother seemed to sense her impatience and bustled her out of the room and to her things. Exchanging one last lingering hug, Kagome gathered the journal and the jewel and went through the well.  
  
More out of habit than anything else, and without even glancing up, she called out, "Is anybody there to help me out?"  
  
Instantly Inuyasha appeared before her. Within the space of a thought, he dragged her out of the well and pinned her to a tree. Claws at her throat, he snarled, "What did you do to them? If you so much as touched a hair on that little brat of a brother's head, I swear I'll rip you limb from limb, Kagome's body or no."  
  
'Kikyo was wrong about his dead eyes,' she thought inanely, staring at the fiery orbs inches from her own. "Inuyasha?" she said tentatively.  
  
Flinching at the snarl she received as an answer, her gaze shifted towards the other in the clearing. They were no help. Sango had a hand on her sword, ready to draw it out, and Miroku held his staff at he ready. She turned back to Inuyasha and swallowed convulsively. "I haven't hurt my family, if that's what you mean," she said quietly.  
  
The remark only caused the claws to press further into her neck. "Never your family," was the guttural response. "They are hers. HERS!"  
  
There was a sigh from directly behind him. "This Sesshomaru did not spend four weeks fighting a pathetic creature such as yourself only to have you kill the girl when it looks like the plan has worked."  
  
Inuyasha spun around so fast that he left four parallel scratches down the left side of Kagome's neck. Sesshomaru stood on the other side of the clearing with Rin. The child ignored the hanyou's snarl as she skipped over to Kagome. Blinking curiously, she asked, "Did it work?"  
  
Kagome sighed as she sank down to the ground. "Did what work, Rin?"  
  
Apparently that was answer enough for the girl, because she grinned and turned back to her master. "Kagome-nesan is back, Sesshomaru-sama. Kikyo-sama calls Rin, Rin-chan, but Kagome-nesan just calls Rin, Rin."  
  
Sesshomaru turned to leave, but Kagome stood hurriedly. "You distracted him?" she called. "You fought with him so that she could check the well?"  
  
The lord paused, then nodded, no more than a brief inclination of his head.  
  
"Thank you," she said.  
  
Without even acknowledging the remark, he left the clearing, Rin scrambling after. The silence after his departure did not last long, for with Rin's declaration, Shippo could not restrain himself from launching himself at Kagome, screaming her name.  
  
"I knew it would work!" he cried as Kagome caught him. "Kikyo said it was only a small chance, but when me and Rin could convince Sesshomaru, I knew it would work! I missed you so much!"  
  
Kagome could not find a response to that, so settled for hugging the kit close and nuzzling in his hair. Their moment was interrupted by Inuyasha.  
  
"Stupid brat," he said, "can't you see that they're in league together? That isn't Kagome, it's Kikyo, and she's working with my bastard brother to-"  
  
"No!" Shippo cried. "It's Kagome!"  
  
"Idiot!" Inuyasha screamed. "Kagome is dead! She's not coming back!"  
  
"Inuyasha!" Something in Kagome snapped. "OUSWARI!!"  
  
The cry rang through the clearing, but there was no resounding thump to accompany it. Belatedly, Kagome remembered that she had removed the rosary from Inuyasha before she had gone to confront Naraku. Inuyasha stared blankly at her for a second then grabbed her arm.  
  
Kagome was so startled that she actually squeaked and dropped Shippo. For the second time in fifteen minutes, she found herself pulled close to an emotionally unstable hanyou. This time, however, his eyes weren't clouded by anger. He was afraid, she realized suddenly, afraid and the tiniest bit hopeful.  
  
"Kagome?" he whispered.  
  
His own voice seemed to startle him and he dropped her arm and bolted. Kagome exchanged a glance with Sango and Miroku. Sango was grinning madly, but waved her on to follow Inuyasha. Miroku walked up behind her friend and, grinning wildly, enveloped Sango in a hug. Raising her eyebrows both at Sango acceptance and how Miroku's hands did not stray, she nodded and ran after Inuyasha, pausing only to pick up the journal and the jewel. Stuffing the jewel in the pocket of her skirt and letting her senses guide her, she soon found herself at the Goshinboku clearing. Peering up, she could barely make out Inuyasha amongst the foliage.  
  
"Inuyasha?" she called.  
  
There was no response.  
  
"Please say something," she tried again. "Yell at me if you want, but please talk to me."  
  
Still no response, and Kagome was running out of ideas. Suddenly she remembered the journal in her hand. Bringing it out, she flipped to the pages with Kikyo's message to the hanyou.  
  
"Kikyo wrote you a message," she said. "Would you like to read it?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"She gave me permission to read it to you, if you couldn't," she continued, gathering her courage. "Would that be ok?"  
  
Taking the silence as an affirmative, and indulging her own curiosity, she began to read. It was slow going, and not only because Kikyo had switch back to an older set of kanji characters.  
  
"Inuyasha  
  
"Let me start off with what is easiest. I love you. It took me three months now to discover what took six months to realize fifty years ago. Even after all of the betrayal, misplaced trust, and months and months of hate seeking vengeance, I love you. It makes me hurt to see you hurt, and I want to do everything in my power to fix it. But my love is not enough.  
  
"For you are hurting. Three months you have been hurting. I can see it as clearly as I can see the other's pain, though you are not as obvious as Shippo. You are hurting, and my love is not enough, may even make you hurt worse. It takes great courage to say this. I love you, but I know that you do not love me."  
  
Here Kagome paused, unsure if she really wanted to continue. A glance up at the tree convinced her otherwise. Inuyasha had moved down a couple of branches  
  
"I know you loved me once. I would not have agreed to give you the jewel if I did not know that. But I also know that your love for me is less now than it was before. Or if not less, then it has changed. You do not love me as deeply as before, neither of us do. Nothing could compare to the light that shines in your eyes when she is around. That light has been gone for three months. That light has always proven to me that you are alive, and is part of the reason I am doing this now.   
  
"You know, even as I write this, I am bombarded with images of the two of us, together. It is almost as if Kagome's memories hold out more hope for our relationship than we do. There is the other half of my revelation from these three months. She loves you."  
  
Kagome slowed down even further as her voice got clopped with tears.  
  
"She loves you so much more than me. She loves you as you are, as a hanyou, which even now I have reservations about. She only wants to see you happy. She put it so concisely that night three months ago, but she struggled with the concept for months beforehand. It was incredibly hard for her to do, but she was convinced that you would be happiest with me. Three months have convinced me otherwise, and so now I sit in her time and hope to undo a great deal of the work she so carefully planned. There is something more at work here, greater than her blindness, your idiocy, and my hate. Something more that has kept the two of you apart, made her feel unworthy.  
  
"Ahh, yes. She has told me, through memory. There is a memory there, though I don't know if you'll share it. At one point in time you decided to protect me over her, and the foolish chit decided to stay with you anyway. It was then that she decided that she could never compete with me, because she was alive, while I had refused to use the Shikon no Tama to stay alive. That was true, but circumstances have changed. Her sacrifice was so much greater than mine. Her death saved so much more. Shippo, Kouga, Kirara, Sesshomaru, Rin, Kagura, Kana, even Kouga's pack.  
  
"I died because I could not, even in the midst of your betrayal, be parted from you. She died because you could not, even in the midst of her love, be parted from me."  
  
Kagome could read no further. The journal dropped from her hands, and she fisted them at her side, holding back the tears. She heard a sound from in front of her and looked up to find Inuyasha on the ground, staring at her.  
  
"I'm sorry," she burst out when the silence became too much. "I wanted her to stay, so that you could be happy. I'm so sorry!" She started to bury her head in her hands, but remembered something. "Here," she said, and held the Shikon no Tama out to him. "You can wish for her back! It's yours to do with as you please, and-"  
  
She gave a little shriek as Inuyasha pulled her close for the third time that day. But this was not the threatening gesture that the first two had been. This was a desperate hug, and all Kagome could do was stand there as Inuyasha buried his face in her hair, sniffing deeply and thoroughly. Dimly she could hear him whispering, but it was so soft that she couldn't understand.  
  
"Inuyasha?" she said a little stiffly. "What are you saying?"  
  
He backed up enough so that he could stare into her eyes, but kept his arms around her. Resting his forehead on hers, he began to speak quietly, "You slept for two weeks, and I began to hope. I knew we'd buried you, but just seeing you lying there, I allowed myself to hope. It was useless. When those eyes opened, it wasn't you looking out. It was her. Her eyes in your body. I hated her, resented her for staring at me with her eyes. She even stopped smelling like you..."  
  
He trailed off and closed his eyes. Fisting his hand in her hair, he said fiercely, "But this is you. You have your eyes back. You're here."  
  
Startled, all Kagome could say was, "Yes, Inuyasha, it's me. I'm here."  
  
Her arms crept up to hug him back, and he buried his face in her hair again. His shoulders began to shake convulsively, and she realized that he was crying. She began to murmur nonsense syllables, rubbing his back in a soothing manner. Suddenly, he stiffened, and sniffed curiously around her neck. Cautiously, he licked her neck along the scratches. She stiffened in shock.  
  
"I hurt you," he said as he continued to lap up the blood his claws had left earlier.  
  
Kagome relaxed under his ministrations. The cuts had only just begun to hurt, but Inuyasha was making them feel better. She tilted her head to allow him greater access, and Inuyasha gently smoothed her hair away. The feel of his tongue on her was soothing. He used long strokes all the way up her neck, making sure to clean all of the wounds. Eyes closing, she unconsciously began to sway with the rhythm of the strokes, and clutched at his clothes for balance. In response he gathered her even further into his arms and began to explore lower, tracing the line of the longest cut with his tongue. When he got to her collarbone she shivered.  
  
Immediately he stopped. "What's wrong?" he said, drawing his head back. "That didn't hurt, did it?"  
  
Slowly Kagome opened her eyes, her breath coming in ragged gasps. She couldn't find the sense to form words, so she settled for merely looking at him. Whatever he saw in her gaze must have satisfied him, because a fire lit deep within his eyes. In that flame, Kagome saw desire, and yearning, and something that he would never say. Love.  
  
Finally allowing herself to believe, she cradled his face in her hands and raised herself up to kiss him softly on the mouth. Lowering herself back down, she smiled up at him. He gazed down at her in wonder. Slowly, as comprehended what actions meant, a positively wicked light came into his eyes.  
  
Kagome had only a short time to wonder what that light meant before he leaned in to claim her lips in a manner that was anything but soft.  
  
***  
  
"When's Kagome coming back?" Shippo whined much later.  
  
"You must give them time," Miroku said. They had all retreated to the hut once Kagome had left the clearing.  
  
"Inuyasha and Kagome have a great deal to discuss," Kaede said softly, having been brought up to date.  
  
"Indeed," Miroku agreed. "In fact, we should be grateful that they haven't returned yet."  
  
Sango looked at him askance form her seat next to him. "It means," he explained, "that they have not gotten into and argument. They might actually be talking."  
  
Sango nodded. Shippo still looked a little dubious, but went back to playing with his top. Miroku took the opportunity to lean over to Sango and say in a lone tone, "I can think of other things that they could be doing. Several of which I would like to try with you."  
  
Sango blushed and forcibly repressed a shiver. Not too successfully, for Miroku felt it and grinned broadly. Sango gave him a cool look. "Hentai," she said just as softly.  
  
Miroku felt a stab of pain run through him. He had been nicer to her for the past two moths, but nothing he did seemed to help. He shifted away slightly and whispered, "If we were married, it wouldn't be hentai."  
  
A soft gasp from beside him warned him that his comment had been overheard. He looked up to find Sango staring at him incredulously. "Would it be hentai?" he asked a little louder and with a touch of anger. "Would it be hentai to touch a monk who for the sake of a curse has flirted with anything in a skirt, and can't tell the woman he loves his feelings because she won't believe him? Would that be so hentai?"  
  
Sango's eyes, if possible, widened even further. Reviewing his speech, Miroku winced. Better to retire the field now than face the rejection his words were sure to bring. How could he have been so stupid? He had wanted to tell her, but in a bit, when he had proven himself worthy of her. Something stopped his movements.  
  
Sango was shaking her head form side to side. "No," she whispered slowly. "No, Miroku-sama, it would not be hentai to touch the man you love."  
  
Miroku nearly stopped breathing when he heard his name from those beautiful lips. Gathering up all of his courage and throwing caution to the winds, he picked up her hands in a manner eerily reminiscent of his proposals to village girls.  
  
"Sango," he said. "Will you do me the great honor of becoming my wife?"  
  
Tears sprang to Sango's eyes, and Miroku's heart stopped beating. It was a mistake, a horrible mistake. He had misinterpreted her signals and spoken too soon. He had blown his chance, and now she was throwing herself at him and nodding and sobbing.  
  
Wait a minute. Nodding. She was saying yes!  
  
Shippo squealed in excitement. "I'm gonna go tell Kagome!" he yelled as he ran out of the hut.  
  
Sango and Miroku stood and ran to stop him, but paused at the entrance. Kagome and Inuyasha were walking back to the hut, holding hands. Miroku surmised that they had worked things out, because Kagome's hair was decidedly windblown on the calm day, and Inuyasha's clothes could use some straightening. He shared his conclusions with Sango, who snorted softly.  
  
"Only you would come to a conclusion that way," she said.   
  
"But you love me for it anyway," Miroku said, "Right?"  
  
Sango paused, considering. Miroku groaned and lifted her into a hug.  
  
***  
  
Kagome looked across the field at the scene awaiting her. Shippo was running directly at them, full of important news. News that she could guess, given the position that Sango and Miroku were in. She almost blushed as their embrace became even more intimate. She HOPED that Shippo carried the news that her friends were going to get married.  
  
Inuyasha caught her stare. "What are you looking at?" he asked.  
  
She smiled brilliantly up at him. "Home."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
And that's the end! For real this time!  
  
A/N: I throw myself upon the mercy of the court!!! I was sick for a week, then had to perform in a play for a week, then Thanksgiving happened and I was required to make an appearance in front of family, then I had to catch up on three papers that were due at the beginning of this week, as well as perform in a series of choir concerts. GOMEN NASAI!!! LO SIENTO!!!! DESOLE!!! I'M SORRY!!!   
  
Having said that, I think that I am getting the hang of writing in Kikyo's voice. (Darn, and it's over now!) I am truly saddened by this, but never fear! I have two or three more ideas, and might be persuaded by kind reviews to work on them first! (As opposed to Fushigi Yuugi, Fruits Basket, Ranma, Labyrinth, Lord of the Rings, and two original ideas that I am working on.)  
  
It has been a great run, and I love all my wonderful reviewers. Thanks for your support!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Review responses:  
  
FF.net  
  
Kaagome: Exhausting? Did I put you to sleep? I personally really like that chapter, even though I was NOT looking forward to writing it.  
  
Aamalie: I am the queen of the typo demons!!! I command all, fo I make no mistakes!!!! I am so sorry that you had to wait so long for this chapter, but here it is!  
  
Ghoul King: I am glad that I have hordes of ghoul minions that love me. Really.   
  
A horde means lots of people, right? I feel so loved! (What's a ghoul again?)  
  
LewsTherinInsanity: Wham-Bam-thank-you-ma'm? That's good, right? J/K. Thanks for the support, and I hope you like this chapter!  
  
SakuraSpring: Hell, I went a little crazy just writing it! It's bad when the author gets confused in the plotline, and I did that a couple of times. Hee hee   
  
Noname: I hope weird is a good thing. I would prefer my stories to be understandable, but this one seems to defy convention, no matter how hard I try.  
  
Mockingbird917: This chapter is shorter than the past couple have been, but it is still longer than the first few! As to timeline, Kagome get thrown back to a time in the third season about a week after Inuyasha goes youkai and kills off a bunch of bandits. In my timeline, they defeat Naraku three months after that. Some things went the same, like the battle over the youkai tree, but some things went different, like Rin's kidnapping. That's the best I can place it for you.  
  
Kamikurai: YAY for first time reviewers!!! Love to hear that you like the story. I don't think that I am as good at angst as fluff, but I hope that was a happy enough ending for you.  
  
Sakura: I want your friends to review too!!!!!! (Yes I am a review hog) *grins shamelessly* If you are addicted then I feel bad, because this was the last chapter. But I am glad you liked it while it lasted!  
  
Alden Hawke: I hope this one was worth the wait as well! I hated to do that to Shippo. I literally cried every time I read it. He and Miroku are my favorite characters, so I hate it when anything bad happens to them, even if it is necessary.  
  
Elyndewen Startree: I am glad that I could maybe change your perspective a little on Kikyo. She seems to get all the bad breaks in fanfic, which is sad, because there is so much more to her than what is written about her. (I discovered this while writing the last chapter. Sometimes Kikyo spoke without me realizing it.)  
  
The Four Cousins: I am sorry I made you cry. I had a cold then to, so I know how that feels. Here is your happy ending, which is necessary after all that heartbreak.  
  
Mediaminer.org  
  
Aditu: *Blushes* All those compliments!!! I don't quite know what to do with them, but I love them. I pay my deepest respects to my most wonderful and earliest reviewer on mm.org. It's been a wonderful time, and I will be back for more!  
  
Kitsune_Bi: Wheee! Three reviews!! I can guess who your favorite character is......maybe. I am really glad you like the fic!  
  
Vesca: Not really all that original, but I tried to make it different than others. I am glad you enjoyed yourself, because that is why I write.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I love you all, and hope you enjoyed the story.  
  
Wingsong  
  
THE END! 


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